A brief description of what I suffered with, how life is today and why I started this website.

26 thoughts on “About Me

  1. I just heard your mother on lbc.

    You may say that you’re not qualified but you are better qualified than the so-called “qualified”, get it?? (This is coming from a so called “qualified” professional, lol) Keep doing what you are doing, maybe look into getting into something like family support/social work, trust me, these professions *need* *real* people!!

    Anyway I wish you and your family all the best lovely. Stay strong

  2. I think this is one of the most important info for me.

    And i am glad reading your article. But wanna remark on some general things, The site
    style is great, the articles is really great : D.
    Good job, cheers

  3. shehrina
    This is a wonderful web page you are such an inspiration to all that are around you and your children. Your an amazing mum and the hurdles you have overcome are unimaginable for some people its great you are giving back and help helping to spread awareness of some issues that people just don’t think could happen to them. I’m sorry i never got to meet you but helping your family was lovely and being involved with your children was so lovely i still have their pictures. I hope you carry on doing this wonderful work you really are what i like to call an earth angel.

    • Thank you so much Gemma. It is so weird that you messaged – literally less than a week ago Keyan was talking about you and saying how you would walk up to the high street with him! I don’t know if you are around over the Easter hols but the kids will be at my Mum’s for a while and I’m sure they would love to see you if you are free. Thanks again for the lovely message xxxxxxxx

  4. I want to thank you for your YouTube videos and for sharing your story of BPD. I use your “what its like living with BPD” video to help my friends and family understand what I’m dealing with daily. I cry every time I watch it. You are brave and strong and I thank you so much for sharing a piece of your bravery and strength with me and so many others.

    • Thank you so much for your comment. I have actually just uploaded a new video called ‘Is Borderline Personality Disorder for Life’ which you might find helpful. Try and stay strong and know that although it is soooo hard living with BPD, it is manageable and life can get easier. Lots of love to you sweetie xxx

  5. HI

    I SAW YOU VIDEO ON YOUTUBE AND WANT YOUR HELP IN RECOVERY OF MY WIFE.

    SHE HAS SYMPTOMS OF BPD.

    REGARDS
    RAHUL

    • Hi there – thank you for watching and for messaging. I would say first step would be for your wife to go to her doctor and ask to be assessed for BPD. Perhaps you could talk with your wife and see if she would watch some of my videos – she might be able to relate to them. Chances are she feels really alone and different. The thing is- she is not. Literally millions of people suffer with BPD so we are definitely not alone. Recovery is possible as well with the right treatment. Like I said though, your first step should be to see a doctor and ask for an assessment for BPD. Hope that helps. I wish you both all the best!

  6. Hi I’ve been watching your videos and I’m having a lot of problems. I’m in therapy, I’ve not been diagnosed but myself n my parents are pretty sure I have BPD. I would really like to talk if poss. Xxx I’ve included my sons email (he’s only 6 I’ll use his ipad)

    • Hi Sweetie – I am sorry to hear you are struggling right now. Maybe your parents are right – but I am not a doctor and can not diagnose you. What do you think though? Do you think you could have BPD? Coould you relate to a lot of the things I talk about in my videos? I have just added a new one today about ‘quiet borderlines’. Maybe you will relate to that more. Either way the first thing you need to do is go to your doctor and ask to be assessed for BPD. Once you know what is wrong then you can look to fix it. The good thing with BPD is that it can be managed with the right treatment. So you don’t always have to feel this way. You mention that you have a son – I have kids myself. I met a lot of Mum’s with BPD and it can be a real struggle – but it is easier once you start getting some support for it. If you want to private message me you can do so on my YouTube channel ‘Recovery Mum’. If you go to the ‘About Me’ bit of my page there should be somewhere to private message and I will get back to you. It is taking me a few days to get back to people at the moment though so please don’t think I just haven’t bothered. Sending you lots of love xxx

  7. Hi sherinha I don’t know if I’ve spelled your name right I’m having lots of problems I’ve BPD I’ve had eating disorders I still do but in my day I was like you I was put on a ward I overdosed twic and one was two year ago near Christmas it was awful I’m a twin to a boy and he’s my rock I’m not married has I’ve had abuse in my past life as well.
    I live with my elderly mum and brother I’ve lots of health issues but I’ve been told I’ve got scarred lesions in my brain and I suffer alot of pain with it all everything is getting me really down depressed I’m not sleeping I’ve got a psychologist as well.
    She’s lovely I am just like you off the rails and not knowing quite the reason why.
    There’s lot so I could tell you a book of my life really.
    I’ve been told really bad news about my brain and I have to have injections in my brain to try and alleviate my pain. Has I get pain as well inside my head.
    Thanks for sharing your life with us guys it is really most appreciated.
    Thanks loves Celia.X

  8. I again thank-you so much for doing what you are doing. I have watched your video about partners with bpd…and I struggle not to cry in front of my daughter. Her bpd Dad went to the hospital after a yr and a half of absence… We non bpd people sometimes forget how sick you guys can be especially when it’s been such a long time. I understand your husband or partner wanting to not talk about this.

    I struggled so much in finding males who will talk about bpd and even more so loving partners who are non-bpd who would do a channel talking about their relationships and it’s though and emotionally intense moments… I wanted to start but I think too much on the consequences on my life and that of my child…. I think the most difficult thing though is the loneliness of not being able to talk about this to many people because people judge non-bpd partners so much for carrying on in the relationship. Nonetheless I hope one day a non bpd partner would go on and talk about being in a committed long with a PERSON with bpd on YouTube. Suffice to say though that your channel is among the best and kindest! Thank yo I SO MUCH!!

    • Hi Sweetie, thank you so much for your comment and I am so such a late reply. I will talk to my partner again and tell him people would find it helpful to hear his side of the story – I really can’t promise anything though! Yes iit is so so hard on the partners – they often feel so alone and have no support – and they need support as well. Stay strong my lovely and try and focus on yourself and your daughter. And perhaps go to your doctor and see if they can offer you some kind of counselling. It would be really good for you t talk to someone about how you feel. Lots of love to you xxx

  9. I don’t know how or with what to begin. I listened to you on my way to work today and you made me cry and then I saw the video you added of the comedian and you made me laugh. I don’t know you but I know you so well because I know myself and everything you described made me feel like you are talking about me. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for posting. It is so important to be a part of something, you and people I met at therapy makes me feel like I am not alone, I finally know who I am and what I have and how to handle it. Unlike you and many others who suffer from bpd, I never tried killing myself or cut myself, other than that, it’s all the same. No self-respect, no self-esteem, I let guys do whatever they want because I didn’t love myself apparently. I will follow you as much as I can, I don’t understand how YOU didn’t love yourself, you are so beautiful on the inside and out. If I saw yo u on the street I would probably think to myself she is so damn beautiful and I could never believe you can snap because your man looked at another woman. I was in therapy from February 2015 till September 4th. Now I have a job, I am not giving up and it’s hard but I am doing it and I am brave and hopefully I will find a man as well and not ruin it like in the past. Everything you said about stalking and insecure and calling and snapping and everything, it is like you read my mind, I grew up feeling different and angry and until two years ago I didn’t know what I had. I am 33 but I feel like I am just starting my life. What I am saying is, you give me strength and inspiration and I hope to keep track but since I have a real job, 11 hours a day, I don’t know if I could keep up but I will try.

    • Hi Sweetie, thank you so much for your lovely message. I completely understand how busy life can be so don’t worry. I am so far behind in replying to people I don’t think I will ever be able to catch up. You are definitely not alone my lovely. There are literally millions of us out there that feel exactly the same. I don’t think it makes any difference if you have never self harmed or attempted suicide – iit doesn’t mean you don’t feel that extremely immense internal pain. You just expressed it in different ways. That is great that you managed to do therapy. Life is hard at times but keep going. Yes you are brave – but you are also extremely strong. Sometimes we don’t realise just how strong we are – but we must be to go through what we go through and still be here fighting it. Always try and keep recovery at the forfront of your mind – keep practicing helpful skills even when you feel you don’t need them. If you do that you will go on and have an amazing life and meet the man of your dreams – and more importantly – you will be the woman of his dreams. Lots of love to you and thank you again for your kind words. xxx

  10. Thank you so much for having the courage to speak so openly about your journey. I just discovered your videos and website and find them very helpful. I have a daughter with BPD/addictions and I see her struggle. I struggle as well, trying to find the best way to help us both. I would like to ask you one question. How can I get help for my daughter if she does not want it? She has had one 30 day stay in a hospital way back in her teens. She’s now in her late 20’s and I fear she’s getting worse. Any talk of getting help she automatically thinks it means being hospitalized and becomes so angry. Looking forward to hearing from you. I’m afraid for her survival.

    • Hi Hunni. Well first of all unless she is a risk to herself or to others there is no way of making her get help if she doesn’t want it. I understand she has a fear there if she was hospitalized before. Perhaps you could sit down and talk to her. Tell her you love her but you wouldn’t make her do anything she doesn’t want. Perhaps you could see if she’d watch some of my videos. If she sees someone else talking about it she will be able to relate and also realise she is not alone. She will also see that there is hope. Perhaps she doesn’t want help as she feels that there is nothing anyone can do for her. If she realises that she can actually go on and live a happy life, free from the emotional pain annd free from being ruled by addiction she may be more inclined to look in to getting help. I have a whole section of videos on addiction also. Perhaps you could just leave the computer on whilst on my webpage and hope that she may be nosey enough to have a look! Other than that I suggest the best thing you can do for her is to let her know you love her and will always be there for her, whilst also not enabling her behaviours in anyway. I have also done a number of videos for family members (think they are under the mental health playlist). Also – be sure to look after yourself. If it’s all getting too much for you take a break if you can. Even if it’s just going out for an evening to the cinema. You need to keep yourself emotionally strong. Also realise that no matter how much you love and want your daughter to get help, unless she chooses to herself there isn’t much you can do. I have also met many people that were persuaded by family members to get help so they did – but it never worked because they didn’t truly want it themselves. It is important that she makes the decidion that she wants help for herself – not just to please others. I hope that helps my lovely. Lots of love to you and your daughter xxx

  11. l found your videos and Youtube which lead me to this website. Most videos on there about bpd are about teenagers and some frankly are rather insane, but you l can identify with. l was diagnosed last summer after a wrong 4 yr diagnoses of bipolar 2, l also have psychotic symptoms. You are so brave speaking out so honestly about your experiences with bpd. Truly inspirational.

    • Hi Sweetie, thank you so much for your lovely message. Yes so many people are at first mis-diagnosed unfortunately. Do stay strong though as recovery is possible. With the right treatment (meds, counselling and therapy) we can learn to manage our BPD. Sending you lots of love xxx

  12. Hi,
    I am 33 and I was diagnosed with BPD 3 months ago. At 17 I developed anorexia with depression and self harm, and I was very sick until I got better at 30. When anorexia was out of the picture I thought the struggle was over but instead I was overwhelmed with extreme anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and general desperation. Under my anorexia time I had lived completely isolated, so when I got out there in the real world and tried to live a normal life with relationships I realised I couldn’t do it. It all went extremely bad and I had several suicide attempts. My life the last 3 years has been pure hell, alcohol also came into the picture. I didn’t understand what was wrong until 3 months ago when I was diagnosed. I am quite overwhelmed and tired, I thought after 13 years of anorexia I had had enough but now I have to tackle BPD….it feels very exhausting…extreme moodswings, abandonment fears, impulsivity and severe hopelessness. But I have a therapist and a boyfriend who supports me, and I have also found lovely people like you who help through youtube, blogs, books, forums. Thank you for great videos and thank you for trying to help others <3 I am really thankful<3

    • Hi Hunni, thank you so much for the comment. I would say chances are the BPD was there all along. A lot of people with BPD also have a diagnosis of another disorder – whether it’s anxiety, depression, eating, drugs and alcohol etc – or all of them together! Yep! We really are that lucky! As if having one isn’t enough for us to deal with! Often we can turn to drugs or alcohol in order to make us feel better – although they always end up making our problems a whole lot worse. I suffered with bulimia for over 15 years. I think for me it was the one area of my life I felt I could control. Whilst I was focused on controlling that I couldn’t focus on all the other areas of my life that were falling to pieces! I think the fact you have got a diagnosis is a good thing. Once we know what is going on for us we can then 1. start to understand the disorder more and hopefully become more self aware and 2. get the help we need. The great news is that this disorder is treatable. We can learn to manage it and go on and have fulfilling happy lives. It is great that you are connecting online with others that have it – it shows you are trying to learn about it and this is all part of your recovery journey. getting diagnosed is just the first step in recovery – so you are already on your journey now my lovely. Honestly – there is light at the end of the tunnel. I know sometimes we can’t see it but please know it is there. Lots of love to you xxx

  13. Hi there! I’m 22years old and I’ve been watching a lot of your YouTube videos and I think you’re such a lovely inspirational woman! I’ve recently been going through a tough time with my anxiety and depression and OCD and suffer from a low self-esteem! One day I was really stressed and was worried why I’ve been feeling irritable with my boyfriend and came across BPD and when I read the symptoms and watched many people’s stories I felt that some of the stuff related to me and it’s been making me feel severely anxious where I can’t sleep at night! To the point I’m convinced I have BPD but I only notice the symptoms when I’m in a romantic relationship no other time: fear of abandonment, push, pull relationship one minute my boyfriends being cute and I get irritated and push him away and then next minute I’m apologising and chasing after him, unstable relationship with boyfriends, mood swings from time to time! I know I should self-diagnose myself and I’ve seen your video on it but I’m scared about everything! Thank you so much as well, I find watching your videos calming! Xx

    • Hi my lovely, thank you for your comment. Okay – so you may have some of the BPD traits but it doesn’t necessarily mean you have BPD. Most people at some point in their lifetime have some of the traits. To have a diagnosis of BPD you’d need to have at least 5 of the traits and to have had them continuously for a minimum of 2 years. If you still think you may have this then you would be worth speaking to your doctor about it and have an assessment. You really don’t need to be scared of it though Sweetie. I see getting a diagnosis of it as a good thing – it is our first step on our road to recovery. Once we know why we behave the way we do we can then seek treatment. BPD is NOT a life sentence – it can be managed. Also – whether or not you get dignosed there are always things you can do that can help you. In my playlist called ‘The Solutions’ I have done vids on DBT (I still have more to do though). I think DBT is amazing for anyone – it should be taught in schools! You can always learn some of the skills and start practicing them yourself. The more you practicce them the more changes you will notice. You get out what you put in basically. Sending you lots of love xxx

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