Fear of Abandonment is a core trait of BPD, although lots of people who don’t have BPD do still have this trait. Today I discuss my fear of abandonment and a few skills on how to overcome it.
Today I finally got my flip chart out to do a little brain workshop with you! I discuss the Limbic System (amygdala, hippocampus, hypothalamus) and the pre-frontal cortex and cortisol.
A lot of us can find ourselves in a vicious cycle of being in and out of hospitals – how do we break this cycle?
Two vids in one today guys. I will be discussing the intense rage of us with BPD and also discussing the pros and cons of setting up your own mental health YouTube channel.
Just a quick live check in to see how you are all doing and check you are keeping safe.
Today I discuss the DBT Skills Wise Mind ACCEPTS. Practice the distraction skills often to see them become easier to use when you need them most.
Today I discuss the DBT Skills IMPROVE the moment.
Christmas is a time when we often see family members whom we only see once a year. Sometimes there can be family disputes or awkwardness – Here are a few ways to cope over the Christmas period.
Imposter syndrome is so common – it is when we feel like we are an imposter, a fraud and we fear that we are going to get found out.
It’s that time of year where ‘everyone’ seems to be going out and having the best time or buying the best presents – and we can be taken over with a fear of missing out – we want what they have. We forget a lot of what we see on social media is an illusion […]
It’s now December 1st and or stress levels can start going through the roof. Christmas can be a difficult time of year and I discuss that and offer some advice.
What is the difference between a crush and being obsessed with someone? When has the line been crossed?
Throughout my life I have suffered with the odd obsession over someone. Today I discuss these obsessions and give advise on how to stop obsessing.
Our fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, bad self image and paranoia all add to how we can perceive something to be rejection. And rejection hurts – a lot!
In this video I explain the HPD traits and then discuss the similarities and differences between HPD and BPD.
Today I answer a few questions raised in my last video on Narcissistic personality disorder.
Comparing the 2 cluster b personality disorders – I look at both the similarities and the differences.
There are lots of similarities between these 2 personality disorders – but there are also some key differences. Today I discuss them in this video.
I apologise that my little girl is babbling in the background! I will make sure she is asleep next video! In this video I discuss the various traits of the 10 different personality disorders.
I have always wanted to know the ending to films – the ending to books etc. Only then can I relax and enjoy what I’m watching/reading. Also – I absolutely can NOT watch anything sad – not even cartoons! I am really sorry guys but I repeat the story of the hippogriff in this video […]
I used to think a partner could fix me and make me better…so long as they did what I wanted them to do. If they did something that upset me I would threaten to self-harm – if they still didn’t listen to what I wanted I would then go ahead and self-harm and then I […]
An impulsive reckless behaviour that we may exhibit might be sleeping with strangers. We want to feel loved and secure and often mistakenly think sleeping with someone is the answer to that – which is never is. In fact it more often than not makes us feel so much worse.
Can cannabis be used to medicate our BPD?
People with borderline often have another disorder – whether it’s depression, anxiety or all of them. Panic attacks are scary – but our body is reacting normally – the problem is when we perceive something to be a threat – and it is not a threat. Our anxiety is not justified.
I have had a lot of people ask me about this so thought I would do a video on everything from deciding to have a baby, too pregnancy and afterwards.
There are some channels on BPD out there that paint us in a really negative light. Here is my advise on this subject.
With BPD we have a fear of abandonement, we have low self esteem – and we have intense emotions – it’s no wonder we start feeling jealous and then acting on it. We really do need to learn to rationalise things though because our jealousy and clinginess often pushes those we love away.
I believe I was addicted to drugs and alcohol as it was my coping mechanism to help me deal with my unstable moods and intense emotions. Once the bpd was in control the addictions went away.
I’ve finally persuaded my Mum to join me in a video! in this video I ask her questions and she advises both famiily members of those with BPD and also those with BPD.
What is the difference between a low mood and depression? How does depression appear outwardly. I forgot to mention in the video that sometimes .I would literally feel nothing when I was depressed – I was numb inside. Often when we are depressed we do not even know we are depressed. If you think you […]
If you are in a relationship with someone who has the same disorder as yourself it is going to be a difficult relationship – especially to start with. I give you some tips on how to make it work.
Not everyone is offered DBT – sometimes people are on a waiting list for 2 years or more and other people can’t afford it. What does it mean for these people? Should they just give up on recovery if they are not offered therapy? Absolutely not! Recovery is possible for everyone.
I have been through this where as I have been in recovery a while and all of a sudden feel like the BPD is back!! That is not the case though and is all part of the recovery process. If you are going through this just keep going! You are doing AMAZING!
I spent years and years eaten up with jealousy and resentment. I never realised my jealousy goes all the way back to when I was a child. It is with hindsight that I can see where I was jealous and the reasons for my jealousy. Recovery has helped be let go of the negative feelings. […]
Do I believe in the label of Borderline Personality Disorder? Should we get diagnosed or are we better without being labled?
We can read so many negative points to having BPD – it’s about time we started to look at the positives – and they are there! We need to focus more on them.
There are friends who don’t understand BPD and ‘friends’ who just don’t want to understand it. I discuss the differences in this video – and what makes a good friend and what doesn’t.
The school holidays are always a struggle – especially the summer holidays as they go on for what feels like forever. Here are a few things I do to help me cope!
I could get attactched to places as well as people. When I would be separated from someone or some place I was attactched too I would be filled with anxiety.
When I googled this topic all I could find was info on people with bpd being the abuser. A lot of times it is the person with bpd that gets abused though.
I used to be consumed with loneliness and I really didn’t believe I would ever feel differently. I was so alone and so desperate and yet I didn’t know what to do to escape this feeling.
I have been fortunate enough to be helping with a new charity that has been set up in the US. In this video I get to explain all to you!
I know how hard it is being a new Mum especially when the borderline personality disorder is not being managed. Lack of sleep, bad food choices and extreme emotions all play a big part, I discuss in detail the problems we have and ways we can help ease them.
I have always been a people pleaser and always wanted to be the ‘perfect partner’. But when they were not the perfect partner back I would be resentful and angry.
Most people feel angry at some point in their lives – it becomes a problem though when we can not control this anger. I discuss some coping strategies in this video.
Throughout my life I have had many embarassing situations . My BPD caused me such intense emotions and I did not know how to control them – and it didn’t matter who was around.
My whole life I have been an open book and told everyone everything aboutmyself – this has caused me so much hurt in the past. Today I am selective (believe it or not considering I have a TY channel!) with who I share information with and what information I share.
There are ‘people’ that say c-ptsd is the same as BPD cormorbid with PTSD. I discuss the similarities and the differences in this video.
My whole life I have had trust issues with women – is this a BPD tthing? Is it justified? Do other women really not like us?
There have been studies done looking at both the differences and similarities between men and women with Borderline Personality Disorder. I discuss these differences in this video.
Hindsight is an amazing thing. Back when I was 14 I thought I had met the love of my life and he could do no wrong. It is only looking back now that I can see the relationship for what it was – abusive and unhealthy.
I HATED therapy to start with so I understand how others feel regarding this. Here I tell my story and how therapy can help everyone. I believe we can all take something out of therapy no matter how big or small – but how much you put in effects how much you get out.
I received a comment the other day from a lady who had been really hurt by her BPD mother. Whilst I understand her hurt and anger I have to disagree that all people with BPD are the same. I discuss my own children in this video and why I don’t believe I minimize things in […]
I have fabricated stroies most my life so people like me. I would also agree with anything anyone said just so they would accept me. I didn’t have my own opinion – and if I did I’d keep it to myself. In the end I didn’t even know what stories were true and which ones […]
All mental health has stigma attatched but for some reason BPD has a bigger stigma attactched!
The way I would interpret what people would say had a big impact on the way I would then react and behave. So why do we perceive things differently to non-BPD’s?
A massive thank you to all my subscribers! I literally want to hug and squeeze you all! Big Love xxx
Without meaning to do us Borderlines alienate ourselves from other people and cause them to think badly of us? #stigma #mentalhealth #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpdstigma
Are Borderlines all compulsive liars? Why is there a link between BPD and lying?
When someone leaves us we are left feeling absolutely heartbroken. If you also struggle with your mental health chances are you will find yourself not knowing how to cope.
I have been in this vicious cycle many times and it is so hard to break the cycle – but it is possible. If the relationship is really unhealthy it is important you learn to break the cycle.
We are living in a world where we are constantly hearing about terror attacks. This can either heighten our anxiety that is already there or give us anxiety if we don’t have it. How can we manage this?
If you are having suicial thoughts and you do not feel you can keep yourself safe please go to your local A&E, your doctor, a family member or friend. Do not isolate and stay on your own.
I got asked if life is going well and you are feeling good about yourself – is it time to stop therapy?
Social media can be addictive and also make us feel mixed emotions and less than. I discuss the negatives of bpd here.
Impulsive Reckless Behaviour is a trait of BPD. When we think of this we think of drink, drugs, sex etc. This is not the only way it manifests though.
I got asked what my opinion is regarding self-diagnosis and I discuss that in this video.
What happens when a ‘high-functioning Borderline’ can not function? Also – is there even such thing as a high-functioning borderline?
I have done this video for a guy who messaged me. He was bullied and was shot and ended up in a coma. Thankfully he survived but is now really struggling with his mental health.
More and more people are feigning having a mental health illness – why is this?
Just like BPD manifests itself in different ways eg. extrovert, quiet bpd etc. there are also different levels of BPD which I discuss in this video.
The thought of recovery scared me to start with – BPD was my life – it is all I knew.
A lot of people have a fear around mental health units and would never even consider admitting themselves on to a ward voluntarily! But could this attitude acctually stop us getting the help we need?
Once someone with BPD starts therapy, partners can often hope to notice changes within weeks – unfortunately it is not that simple.
I have heard this time and time again – Borderliners are wild in bed! But how true is this and if true why is this?
So often our emotions become so intense that we just react suddenly without worrying about the consequences.
Sorry this video wasn’t out last night guys – I have spent the past few days vomiting and sleeping! Hope you are all well xxx
Today I discuss how my therapists, psychologists and group therapy helped me but also when something isn’t working.
How do our parents feel about our BPD? Do We blame them? Can we talk to them about it?
I believe BPD is partly genetic and partly due to our upbringing. I was asked if I was worried that I will pass it on to my kids.
We can suffer with black and white thinking and push our inlaws away – how can we cope with this especially if they don’t know we have BPD.
How do you go about getting help for BPD if you think you may have it but don’t yet have a diagnosis?
Sorry the sound isn’t great in this video – I mustn’t have connected the mic properly. Throughout nearly all of my relationships I would test my partners to see if they loved me – a lot of the time they weren’t even aware that I did these tests!
Why would we suffer with hypochondria? Could it be because we are crying out for attention?
Nobody likes to admit that we can do these things – but unfortunately I have done all of them. I do not believe it makes us bad people though – we act in desperation.
Believe it or not BPD has some positives! The deep love we feel is one of them. I did not want to lose those feel-good feelings when I came in to recovery.
Some people just do not believe in Mental Health unfortunately and this video discusses your options if one of those people include a family member.
I was one of the worlds best at making excuses not to go out. This can become very isolating though and unhealthy.
I often here from men saying their bpd wife/girlfriend has cheated on them and they don’t know what to do.
BPD and Bipolar can seem very similar at a first glance – here I discuss the similarities and differences. I am no expert on bipolar however and if you think I may have gotten something wrong please feel free to tell me and I will correct it in another video!
Considering how many people suffer with BPD it is surprising what a high number of people are actually misdiagnosed before being diagnosed as having borerline personality disorder. Here I discuss some of the reasons for this.
There are a few different theories on the cause of BPD which I discuss here.
For years I hated myself and recovery from this was a slow process – but it is possible as today I know longer hate myself.
I have previously done videos on meds but decided to recap on things as I have been asked a few time to do a ‘medication video’.
Being a Mum is hard – let alone when you also suffer with your mental health. This video explains why it is important to make time for you and how you can do that.
I get asked a lot if people with BPD or mental health issues should be having children. I would say yes – but support is so important. I was under a special team of midwives called the Sunshine Team and they helped me get through my pregnancy safely.
Sorry Guys – this video was supposed to be up on Friday but I’ve had problems with my laptop! All sorted now (thanks to my amazing Step-Dad!) xxx
A quick update on my own mental health!
I used to feel like I was on a complete high at times – times when I hadn’t actually taken anything. I would be completely hyper – but eventually my mood would crash and it was awful.
When should you tell a new partner you have a mental health issue – or should you even tell them at all? If you do tell them – how should you do that?
Should we tell our kids about our mental health and if so how do we do it?
How do we stop ourselves taking our anger out on our kids?
I always needed to be liked – I couldn’t bare the thought of someone not liking me – and I would go to extreme measures to get them to like me!
I seriously thought I was like Peter Pan. I just did not feel like I had grown up at all. I felt like a lost child stuck in an adults body.
There were times when I would try to develop my own way of recovery by fixing on things. When I did this I would distance myself from my loved ones and be quite cold and cut off from them.
When I broke up with someone I could be devestated one minute only to have completely moved on the next. Why do we do this?
I started dissasociating at a young age and the memory loss soon followed – both short term and long term memory loss.
My Family think I am a completely different person to who I used to be. But it can be hard on families to believe we truly have changed.
Living with black and white thinking can leave those around us on eggshells as they never know when we are going to ‘split’.
Sorry to do another porn video guys! In this video I discuss how porn can be really destructive to relationships.
Us borderliners can cause a lot of hurt to our loved ones. How much should a loved one put up with? What should they do when we kick off?
I had to do this video with my 2 year old on my lap who had just woken from a nap!
Here I discuss some of the issues we have with sex – intimacy, promiscuity, low self esteem etc. We can also use porn as a way of getting our needs met without the worry of intimacy!
I can remember the feeling of betrayal and deep hurt I felt when I discovered an ex watched porn.
I always felt different and could be in a room full of people and still feel lonely.
I spent so many years feeling guilt and shame and feeling like I deserved love from nobody! Luckily I don’t feel like that today!
I could be so cold to the people whom I was supposed to love the most.
I was like a chameleon for years – constantly trying to adapt to be like others around me – to the point I didn’t even know who I was or what I liked.
I used to have real issues around sex which I explain in this video.
What if someone you love who you either think has BPD or has been diagnosed refuses to get any help? What if this person is a parent? What are your options?
What if you have some of the BPD traits but not enough to get an actual diagnosis? Would DBT help?
How does the ‘monthly moods’ effect you differently if you have borderline personality disorder?
I always struggled in the work place. I used to feel people were against me a lot, especially other women. I struggled to hold down a job.
In this video I discuss my childhood as well as trying to answer this question.
There was a time I couldn’t leave my home. I hated myself and I isolated. Life is not like that for me today luckily so I know there is a way out.
I was an extrememely jealous person who would cling on to both partners and also friends!
Do all BPD parents damage their children? Is this a general rule or in extreme cases?
I have personal experience with this as I have been asked by my children what are the scars on my arms. Obviously I can not tell you exactly what to say or even if how I deal with it the right way but this video explains how I tackle this subject.
Question 1: Is only 6 months of DBT worth it? Question 2: How do people with BPD deal with being broken up with and also how do they break up with others?
I used to HATE the fact that a partner had a past. The thought that they had been with anyone else (even though it was before I’d ever met them!) made me feel really angry at them!
Is Recovery Easy? How long does it take? Will it get any better?
In this video I discuss how I felt before I had a diagnosis, how and when I got a diagnosis and how it made me feel after.
With BPD we can have times where we start to feel normal – and then the low hits and we are unable to function.
Do people with BPD cheat more than other people? Can the BPD make a person cheat? What should you do?
Do Borderliners get rejected more than most people, or does it just feel that way? How did I cope with rejection and how do I cope today?
It is so hard whilst dealing with your mental health or addiction issues when you are a parent – so what should you do?
Quiet Borderlines express their intense emotions differently to someone who is a ‘normal’ BPDer!
If you are pregnant and the BPD is not being managed chances are you are going to struggle. Do not feel guilty or ashamed by this — instead talk, talk, talk and get the help you need.
Do you think you are in a codependent relationship? Do you want to save someone else? Do you think you can’t live without someone else? This video briefly explains codependency.
I keep getting asked what meds I am on. I decided to do a video on it to finally answer people BUT I must point out that what works for me might NOT work for you! Also, I am not a doctor!! I can not tell you what meds will work well for you!
I use a chart to explain BPD. I have done a similar video ages ago but thought I would update and re-do it!
If you want to have a great job, relationship etc and you are really struggling with the BPD, you need to put those things on hold for now and focus on your recovery. Once the BPD is under control you can have all those things that you want and finally enjoy life.
I talk about the games I would play to try and hunt out ‘evidence’ that my partner was cheating!
In this video I discuss borderline personality disorder and sexuality…and my issues!
What do Mums, Dads, siblings of people with Borderline Personality Disorder go through?
I do not know if many others have suffered with this but I did for years so thought I would do a quick video on it to see if anyone else can identify!
What things can you do to help you have a healthy, happy relationship whilst also struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder?
Today I talk about what my friendships were like when I was struggling with BPD and how my friendships are nowadays.
What does a genuine loving partner of someone with BPD go through and what should they do – stay and support their partner or walk away?
My previous relationships were always so unhealthy and unstable. I suffered severe jealousy, rage, neediness and always felt I needed to be with someone as I was too scared to be on my own. Luckily my relationship today is very different.
I have received so many comments from people who are truly desperate and feel so alone and I felt compelled to do this video. I want you to know you are NOT alone – I even looked up statistics to see just how huge BPD is! I feel on a bit of a mission now […]
When I was first diagnosed with BPD I was so scared that this was it – this was how the rest of my life would be. Luckily that wasn’t the case – bpd is treatable and manageable and you can go on to lead a happy fulfilling life. Plus you get to meet my boyfriend […]
I often felt like I literally had a beast that lived inside of me. When I had an ‘episode’ I would turn in to the most vile, nasty person…and yet that is not who I was. I have now managed to ‘tame my beast’ with the help of learning skills – and I know that […]
In this video I hope to explain to loved ones of someone with BPD just what it is like to live with on a daily basis.
In this video I discuss how family members of people with borderline personality disorder can deal with the bpd sufferer and what is helpful and unhelpful.
I did this video for anyone out there that has or is considering suicide. I had multiple suicide attempts over the years and it is only now that I am so grateful they were unsuccessful, as life has so much to offer me now. There was a time when I thought I would never escape […]
In ths video I talk about when I got bullied at an all girls school and the effect it had on my life.
In this video I explain how I struggled with my emotions throughoout my teenage years and I didn”t know what was wrong with me.
In this video I discuss my views on medication for mental health illnesses.
In this video I talk about my self harming and why I would do it.
In this video I talk about when I suffered post-natal depression.
In this video I discuss how I suffered pre-natally with my third child.
In this video I explain just how much anxiety controlled my life.
In this video I explain what would happen to me physically when I was anxious.
In this video I talk about my thoughts when feeling anxious.
I talk about how I would behave and what I would do when I was depressed.
In this video I talk about how I felt internally when I was depressed.
In this video I talk about my constant fear of being abandoned and what I do to try and stop this from happening!
In this video I talk about how I catastophized about everything!!
In this video I talk about my previous violent outbursts and how my temper was uncontrollable.
In this video I talk about the intrusive thoughts I have had over the years and how they affected me.
In this video I talk about the borderline personality trait of bad self image and how it affected me over the years.
In this video I talk about the borderline personality trait, unstable and intense relationships.
I talk about the Borderline Personality Trait – Intense Emotions – and how they affected me.
In this video I talk about impulsive reckless behaviour that I had including drug use, alcohol and shopping.
I explain what borderline personality disorder is by drawing a graph – it was explained to me this way when I did the STEPPS course.