hi my lovelies happy Monday I apologize
there was no video out on Friday I did
try and post on social media explaining
basically the snow whenever it snows in
this country the whole country goes to a
standstill and my kids schools were
closed so I had all four of them here
from Thursday to Sunday so I just did
not get a chance to do a video but I'm
back and I will do one on Friday as well
of this week was I going to say today I
hope you all had a nice weekend ah
that's what I wanted to mention before I
go into the video
I don't usually promote other channels
simply I explained in one of my videos
recently is that because it's quite a
sensitive subject mental health I think
it's important if someone is going to
start doing videos to build it up
gradually and not just all of a sudden
have thousands of followers and be like
because there is pressure and pressure
comes with it and the more people that
you get subscribing to your channel the
more comments you get and you want to
reply to more and sometimes you don't
get nice comments as well
and so I kind of think it's important
that we kind of build up gradually I
think because anyone with BPD we are
vulnerable people and we don't want that
pressure on us but today I'm going to
make a little exception there is a
channel that I'm going to talk about
ever so quickly and the reason I am
going to talk about it this person only
has 100 subscribers but it the channel
is different in fact that it is a male
some man talking about borderline
personality disorder and his experience
around it the channel is mr. BPD and I
subscribed to his channel I you know
you're on the right one because when you
press play he always starts at the same
like borderline personality disorder and
then you know you're on the right
and his videos always make me smile we
were actually very different our
channels are very different but I mean
he's stuck here I know he was homeless
for a while and he was still putting
videos out there so he does upload
regularly or his videos make me smile
like I said we are very different but we
just don't have many males out there
doing videos and so there is male mr.
BPD and check it out and see if you like
it if you don't I personally I like his
videos so give it go right today I have
been asked by a number of people to
discuss borderline personality disorder
and boredom basically and my opinion my
opinion on it is we can go through highs
and lows when we were on an emotional
roller coaster and we're going up and
down or emotions will Rove the place and
all of a sudden everything kind of goes
flat and it's like nothing's happening
now that I think there are a number of
reasons of this one it could be actually
things are just leveling out on our okay
but because we're so used to being up
here or being down here all of a sudden
when we were on like this baseline where
we're actually okay it feels like is
that it because we're used to the chaos
in our lives and so when it's not there
we feel like actually something's wrong
secondly boredom could come down to
depression when we feel depressed
we can stop engaging in therapy stop
engaging in relationships we might
isolate we don't want to be around
people things that we used to get joy
from and think yeah that was really good
just bore us we just like just
completely bored and as we know BPD can
often be
morbid with depression the two can go
together they go together a lot so it
could be that but what I really believe
is when people say I'm suffering with
boredom I believe it is actually one of
the BPD traits and BPD trait that I
would say it was is chronic feelings of
emptiness
now chronic feelings of emptiness can
appear or show itself completely
differently in each of us there are
those of us that might just think I'm
nothing I'm worthless there's no point
in me doing anything and that's how the
chronic feelings of emptiness show up
others we actually feel like there is a
void there's something missing we don't
know what it is we just feel like we
have this void inside of us and nothing
can fill it when we get like this we may
acts out impulsively we might jump into
new relationships and we might use drugs
or alcohol gamble shopping social media
all those kinds of impulsive things that
we do to try and fill that void but what
we find is nothing actually fills that
and we still left feeling completely
empty inside and another way that
chronic feelings of emptiness can show
is boredom we're thought nothing excites
us we have this like longing for
something but we don't know what it is
we want something but no matter what we
do nothing kind of feels it we almost
start feeling like emotionally numb we
may feel that we actually detach like
dissociate and
I think that of trade chronic feelings
of emptiness is actually it's our minds
way of coping it's a coping mechanism so
obviously we go through really painful
times in our lives there are emotions
all over the place and it's like our
mind just goes yeah don't want this
anymore I want out and we become
emotionally numb and we feel empty
inside and we don't feel anything but we
want to feel something because we're so
used to feeling something and it can
feel it can feel really odd and like I
said we desperately want to fill the
void inside of us but we don't know what
will fill it and actually there isn't
anything that will fill it but we
desperately desperately try other things
like if we say feeling bored we may just
think I don't want to see anyone we make
isolate if we start really feeling like
I just want to feel something there are
those of us that made them self-harm
because mentally they we're not feeling
anything and we want to feel like alive
basically because we're just so numb and
that's when people may self-harm just so
they can feel something physically to
kind of remind themselves I'm still
alive if that makes sense
and I personally have been through times
where I I feel bored and I want some
kind of excitement
and my usual first thing nowadays is if
I'm going through that it's I'll buy
some new shoes I'll buy a new handbag
I'll buy some new clothes that I never
wear but I'll buy them and I I think
that will get me excited and initially
as I don't like if I'm buying something
online I'm like all very exciting but
then it goes and I'm completely back to
square one bored still wanting something
but we just don't know what it is that
we want and so for those of you that are
struggling with boredom I would
definitely say I personally either think
it is the depression or all chronic
feelings of emptiness and I would tend
to put it down to the chronic feelings
of emptiness and because the title
chronic feelings of emptiness makes us
think oh well we are just feel empty
inside badly that isn't always the case
all of the traits all the BPD traits can
show up very differently in each of us
from our fear of abandonment or
impulsive behaviors you might have like
a few people all with the same trace but
also different and each of the traits
are exhibited so differently
um and death this is definitely the case
with chronic feelings of emptiness
because I just didn't know what it was I
couldn't pinpoint what this feeling was
but for me I I do get the boredom and I
do also get the feeling I just want I
want something but I don't know what I
want what's gonna make me happy and I'm
constantly looking for new things that
will make me happy but obviously
happiness comes from inside not from
external things but we learn that as we
go into recovery but obviously when
we're in it at the time we really truly
believe those external things that will
save us from ourselves
and actually that's not the case when
you're feeling like this is really
important that you start building trust
with a therapist and learn to stop
feeling your emotions in a safe
environment because like I said we often
get this chronic feelings of emptiness
as a way of our mind being like oh I
can't handle this or I will just shut
down for the time being and be not I
will numb your emotions the problem with
when we do this is that the emotions
actually haven't gone away we are numbed
to them but they're there and they're
building and building and building a
getting stronger and stronger and they
will erupt eventually they can't build
forever they will erupt so it's
important that we do let our emotions
out in a healthy way and I would say to
do that in a healthy way you kind of
need to do that with a therapist and if
you're going to be doing that with the
therapist you need to be able to trust
with your therapist so I think I'm gonna
leave that video there today guys there
he is there he is on his xbox say hi on
his xbox again leave you alone yes I'm
gonna leave that there today dice but I
will be back on Friday and I love you
always