hi guys today I am going to do a video
and I'm not very nice subject um I'm
going to talk about suicide or it's a
horrid subject to talk about but I think
it's really important because people out
there are that desperate and I know
there have been times I've been that
desperate that I have attempted suicide
either by suffocating myself or
overdosing on tablets i also have
friends that have had loved ones commit
suicide I've been successful in their
suicide luckily for me my attempts were
just attempts um and I was never
successful because life is amazing today
like I still struggle from time to time
don't get me wrong um but I remember
back when I used to attempt suicide
regularly that I felt so low and so
desperate that I just didn't want to be
here anymore I was fed up of waking up
every day with that feeling inside and I
felt helpless and I didn't see any light
at the end of the tunnel and I didn't
think life would ever change I thought
that was it and it was such a struggle
just to wake up every day and there are
times I just I just felt like I had
enough
I wanted to do this video because I'm
there are people out there that might be
still feeling it just how i felt and i
kinda wanted to do the video for them
and tell them my experience because like
I said my attempts were unsuccessful and
life is completely different today I
wake up and I want to get out bed and I
want to see my children's faces I
haven't got that horrid feeling inside
where I can't face people I'm happy
today not all the time sometimes I want
to smush the place up but overall I'm
content and I just have calm something I
never had I just I remember how
desperate I used to feel and if you are
out there and you're feeling like that
please let me tell you it won't always
be like that I know you might think of
giving up but sometimes will often when
you feel like that chances are you've
hit your rock bottom and you've had
enough the good thing about hitting rock
bottom is you've got nowhere else to
fall so you can give up but actually if
you fight their only way is up now and
recovery isn't just handed to you you've
got put in some work but it is so worth
it it's a process as well you're not
going to just wake up the next day and
be fine but trust me there is light at
the end of the tunnel and do have faith
because i'm so happy that my attempts
were unsuccessful and i am here today
and i can enjoy my little children's
faces and I have wonderful relationships
with my friends and my partner and I
didn't ever think life could be like
this but it is and it can be for you too
but now is the time to start fighting
and not give up because like I said I've
got friends that lost loved ones to
suicide and they're just left with so
many questions like so many unanswered
questions and it just leaves devastation
in behind death it life can be hard but
it won't always be like that and if you
just hang on and you get through this
you could help others and share your
experience with them and show them that
life can be all right life can actually
be bloody good I mean I don't dance
around like this all the time I'm all
happy but like I said I've got that
peace and calm inside me now where I
want to go our bed and I want to enjoy
life we get one life and we can make the
most out of it we can have the most
amazing time and you can too if you're
out there and you're really really
struggling there are services out there
that can help you go to your doctor see
if you can get under mental health team
sometimes you do have to push for these
things and I remember one time I found a
mental health team crying saying I just
want to die and they said they'd phone
me back someone would phone and I got a
phone call a week later saying all you
called I was like that was a week ago I
could be dead by now but I'm spitting
everywhere but
what I try and remember these doctors
these nurses whoever takes the call
their human as well and they can make
mistakes and that's not oh that wasn't a
reason for me to go do you know what
they messed up so I'm giving up because
you know what this is my life this is
your life and it can be whatever you
want it to be and it won't always be a
struggle but you do have to just hang on
in there and I guarantee you it'll be
worth it when you come out the other
side love you all guys bye