In this video I discuss what the first few years of using cocaine were like. The first years were very different to the final years.
Transcript:
hi today I'm doing a video on cocaine in
the first years the reason I've kind of
broken up and I'm doing the first is in
the final years they were so different
so different why okay so the first years
they were amazing or so I thought life
was not one long party I had no children
I had no husband I had no
responsibilities so work wasn't my
priority my priority was waking up in
the morning getting my drugs going to
the pub just getting off my face all day
every day I thought it was normal to hit
up my skirt and piss in a drain to be
vomiting in the curb to lie in bed and
see the ceilings spinning I never had
the problem of lying there not being
able to sleep or very rarely I did
because I was some sleeping pill so I
just pop hello to those and I would
sleep ready for the next day to do
exactly the same thing life my life
looking back was quite crazy in the fact
the people I chose to go out with back
then I'd always go out the dealer one
used to try and throttle me every
weekend I went out with an older man he
broke my arm again that's where my drug
supply was coming from so I wasn't about
to leave and I didn't didn't see
anything wrong with it back then
just that seemed like normal life I
thought that's how everyone carried on
which is weird because I had a quite
good upbringing really my mum tried to
keep me on the straight and narrow to
the best of her ability the first years
are using I thought I was using through
choice now obviously the first time I
ever used that was my choice to do that
but I don't know
and that choice was taken away from me
because because I was enjoying it so
much
the drugs were working back then you see
they were giving me this confidence I
felt really good I felt like I had loads
of friends it's only looking at now I
see they're only hanging around for me
because I was drinking using that's the
only thing we had in common um yeah I
don't know when that choice was taken
away cuz I never tried to quit because
it was fun I also never ever even
contemplated the future and never looked
ahead it was always just lived for today
in today's a party and that's there if
it hadn't have been fun I wouldn't have
been doing it I don't think but it was
fun to start with and I spent the rest
of my like years trying to get that high
that I used to first get in the first
year or so I never got it again I leave
that one there
the first years the reason I've kind of
broken up and I'm doing the first is in
the final years they were so different
so different why okay so the first years
they were amazing or so I thought life
was not one long party I had no children
I had no husband I had no
responsibilities so work wasn't my
priority my priority was waking up in
the morning getting my drugs going to
the pub just getting off my face all day
every day I thought it was normal to hit
up my skirt and piss in a drain to be
vomiting in the curb to lie in bed and
see the ceilings spinning I never had
the problem of lying there not being
able to sleep or very rarely I did
because I was some sleeping pill so I
just pop hello to those and I would
sleep ready for the next day to do
exactly the same thing life my life
looking back was quite crazy in the fact
the people I chose to go out with back
then I'd always go out the dealer one
used to try and throttle me every
weekend I went out with an older man he
broke my arm again that's where my drug
supply was coming from so I wasn't about
to leave and I didn't didn't see
anything wrong with it back then
just that seemed like normal life I
thought that's how everyone carried on
which is weird because I had a quite
good upbringing really my mum tried to
keep me on the straight and narrow to
the best of her ability the first years
are using I thought I was using through
choice now obviously the first time I
ever used that was my choice to do that
but I don't know
and that choice was taken away from me
because because I was enjoying it so
much
the drugs were working back then you see
they were giving me this confidence I
felt really good I felt like I had loads
of friends it's only looking at now I
see they're only hanging around for me
because I was drinking using that's the
only thing we had in common um yeah I
don't know when that choice was taken
away cuz I never tried to quit because
it was fun I also never ever even
contemplated the future and never looked
ahead it was always just lived for today
in today's a party and that's there if
it hadn't have been fun I wouldn't have
been doing it I don't think but it was
fun to start with and I spent the rest
of my like years trying to get that high
that I used to first get in the first
year or so I never got it again I leave
that one there