hi guys today I'm going to do a video on
how code Cain sent me fucking mental and
because obviously cocaine is not a
hallucinogenic and to start with it
didn't send me mental I was okay I used
to just like the feeling because I'm
doing this video because I've noticed
I've had a lot of views on my video the
first time I tried cocaine and I don't
want people I'm just being honest in
that video because obviously to start
with it was good and but I am NOT Pro
drugs and I'm definitely not Pro cocaine
and I think in that video I kind of
talked about the first time I used it
which is obviously gonna be very
different to when I was using it
regularly so basically my tolerance grew
and grew and grew so I got I needed more
and more and more and I started taking
more and more and more and I swear sent
me fucking mental
ly the stories I can tell you I'm gonna
give you a few examples now anyone
that's done lots of cocaine no paranoia
you get like the kurtsyn twitching
thinking someone's outside I obviously
did that looking through the letterbox
and but it got even more extreme I there
was a time I remember I was living with
an ex-boyfriend and I thought there
would be people in his lights on the
ceiling and wait till he'd gone to sleep
and I'd be looking in all the lights
thinking they're little people in them
and I can laugh about this now
but at the time it was so real and so
scary um another story and we had this
really sweet old man that lived down
like my mom's Road and when I was using
cocaine like a lava every day oh I
thought he used he would be was coming
to
the window with his shotgun and he was
out to kill me
I phoned one mom at work screaming that
this poor old man was trying to murder
me and it was so scary I used to crawl
around on the floor at this time because
I thought he had a gun at the window but
you know coming like this shuffling on
the floor like on my belly because I
didn't want to stand up in case I got in
his view and he could shoot me I became
really obsessive over things like I
would get a word puzzle I and I just sit
doing word puzzles hours and hours all
of my own life set up like literally 12
hours all night just snorting coke and
doing crosswords doing like and I became
obsessed I had to do them I had to and
I'd get so into them I couldn't put them
down it like became really obsessive and
one of my craziest things when I lived
with my ex-husband again I was using a
lot cocaine at the time and every night
I would go out in the garden looking for
slugs and the reason why I did this was
I thought the slugs were evil and I had
to get rid of all of them out the garden
it was my challenge and I'd literally
I'd go out my phone holding my phone
over the grass every night and I'd be
out there for 3 or 4 hours getting snow
slugs and putting them in the neighbor's
garden no poor neighbors but I'd
literally do it for hours not do it
every single night every night I'd go
out like the I'm just going for a fag
and I'll be an ink aware of evil slugs I
and like I said I kill off about that
now but at the time it was horrid it was
so like all-consuming and I said that
was like psychologically how it affected
me also I couldn't do it to begin with
I used cocaine socially but by the end I
just wanted to use it on my own and I
could just sit in the bathroom for hours
and hours and hours just using it all on
my own thinking I was living the dream I
I was so delusional and it affected me
physically in the fact that I love so
much way um my nose was constantly a
mess always bleeding and I just didn't
care and wipe it and try and get more
coke up there it my mum will remember I
used to think well you know you can get
sleep in your eye and you do this but I
actually learnt to get my eye thing and
turn my eyelid inside out to get the
sleep because I was thinking there's so
much narrow I've got to get it out with
got to get it out and then I pick and
pick and pick obviously when I'm picking
my eyes are then going watery and I'm
picking a pick in and one time I always
remember I was in my mum's bathroom and
I thought I had some sleep and I Paul I
would realize I've got a layer of skin
off the inside of my eyelid yeah and
obviously I thought I was gonna go blind
which luckily I didn't it like
physically I was a mess really I put
myself in so many dangerous situations
throwing myself out moving car and
getting myself into fights with like
bounce they're starting on bounces and
really believing that I could beat them
actually believing that that little old
me it could be four balances so I got
myself in a lot of horrid situations
like I've stolen some bounces and
unfortunately some aren't very nice and
and I got bit of hiding myself a few
times and
at the time I didn't realize even that I
was addicted I mean I was behaving in
this weird way like I was a little
weirdo and I'll just hide away
collecting slugs and doing my where it
hurts hey and I never even thought I had
a problem I thought I was all right
I didn't socialize I didn't want to go
out and be with people I just wanted to
sit on my hand'd coke that was there and
it was against my will because they got
to the point I remember chopping up
lines and crying because I did not want
to do it but I just felt like I had no
choice that's what addiction does I just
nothing could make me stop not the eye
picking or the slug click thing or the
word search or getting beatings by
bounces or searching this lights and the
ceiling thinking it was horrid way to
live constantly thinking people are out
to kill me and I really believe Danny
he's really frighten me and what would I
do I just take more drugs because I just
couldn't stop so em yeah I would advise
anyone just I mean why would people want
to put toxin in their body I know like I
did it mmm but people are all about
health and fitness now and that's such a
better route to take
then taking something that could
potentially destroy your life destroy
other people's life destroy your
family's life just and yeah and you only
leave that video I don't collect slugs
anymore
you