Today I discuss whether those of us with BPD are highly intuitive, perceptive and extremely empathetic OR whether we lack empathy.
I have a collaboration coming up at the end of this month with Dr Todd Grande. In the collaboration I will be asking him questioms for him to answer. So – if you have a question you would like answered by a Dr, then please ask it in the comments below this video!
How often do we go out for a special occasion, whether it’s someone’s birthday or a wedding etc, and we have a meltdown and cause a huge scene, ruining the night for everyone there. Why do we do this and what can be done about it?
Today I discuss the positives and negatives of the law of attraction.
Even if you do not believe that we have a soul, you can still have a purpose – even if you choose one and give it to yourself. Today we discuss the positives of having a purpose in life and how we discover what that purpose is.
Today I discuss reincarnation. Could something that happened in a past life contribute to the issues that we have in this life? Could past life regression be the answer?
Today I kick off ‘The spirituality series’ with the first episode. You do not to have to be religious or spiritual to benefit from this series. This series is here to introduce new topics to you, to help you ask questions and for you to use as a basic guide in your recovery from your […]
I’m considering doing a series of vids on spirituality – this could include topics such as reincarnation, meditation, visioning, journaling. The wonderful thing about spirituality is you choose your own path – there is no right or wrong. You do not even have to consider yourself spiritual to benefit from spiritual practices such as mindfulness […]
Today we have a video guest – it is Chris from The Rewired Soul. Chris is in recovery from his mental health and addiction and today he tells us his story. Chris’s channel is all about ‘Talk about the problem but FOCUS on the solution’. Today he educates others on these topics and shows people […]
Today i discuss the skill FAST which is self-respect effectiveness. How do we keep our self-respect whilst also being heard?
This focuses on relationship effectiveness – how to get, keep and maintain relationships. Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy Manner. It sounds simple enough but many of us struggle with our relationships and this is a wonderful skill to have.
Today we look at the acronym Dear Man – Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce Mindful, Appear, Negotiate. This is objective Effectiveness – we can use these skills to help us get our objective, goals or needs met.
I had an opportunity today to chat with my daughters class teacher and give him any information that helps him gain a better understanding of my daughter. It felt really freeing to be honest…I spent so many years being dishonest and today I don’t need to be. Opening up with someone can be really enpowering.
I dont think I ever really considered the importance of recovery to start with. But it really is a matter of life and death. We need to take recovery seriously. Why are some people able to overcome addiction and others struggle?
Today I discuss RAD and whether or not BPD could be the adult version of this disorder.
When we come in to recovery we can look back on our past with new eyes – what we see often embarasses us as we hardly recognise ourselves. How can we overcome this?
If a partner has a best friend if the opposite sex (or same sex if they are homosexual) – can they be trusted? Is it ok? Or will it send us crazy?
Due to our BPD traits can we simply have casual sex? Or do we get too emotionally involved? Or maybe we find casual sex easier than intimate sex. Today I discuss this and try to answer the question.
Today we have Trey Jones doing a video for us. Trey’s channel is linked below – please please go and check it out and subscribe for loads of helpful and informative videos! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2fgc5EQmUVHsPibTlIX7cQ
Today I discuss the meds Ive been on – the ones that have worked and the ones that haven’t.
More and more of us are looking at our diets and trying to live a healthier life – a variety of fruit maybe one thing we try to include daily. But…did you know that the innocent looking grapefruit actually has hidden dangers – one of them being that it interacts with certain medications! Today I […]
Today’s vid is bit different. I take you around my house and I discuss the 2nd step that I believe we need to take in order to recover from BPD. Big hugs to you all! Xxx
Today I discuss when we (those of us with BPD) decide we want to get back with an ex – what should we do and what should we not do?
Today I consider something that has played on my mind for many years – could the reason I am the way I am today have something to do with an experience in a past life?
Today we have a guest doing a video for my channel. Cory is on her recovery journey from BPD and is someone I have much respect for. I hope you guys enjoy her video and don’t forget to check out her channel! Link Below : https://www.youtube.com/user/featherbullet1983
Today I discuss the first step of the 10 steps that I have developed to combat this disorder. Admitting we have a problem sounds easier than it actually is. To admit we have a problem means we stop blaming other people and past events and finally accept that the problem lies within us.
There are times when we may end a relationship because it simply isn’t working for us…only to find months and months later that our ex has moved on with someone else and we are left heart-broken! Why does this happen when we were the ones to end it? Are we entitled to feel this way? […]
A quick vid today guys as Lottie is refusing to let me film!
Betrayal comes in many forms – not just an affair, but gossip, abandonment etc are also ways we can be betrayed. Being betrayed is so painful and it can leave us feeling as if our world has ended. Today I discuss how we can cope after being betrayed.
I get asked this question a lot. Unfortunately there are times when a person with BPD leaves a genuinely loving and supportive partner. It is these partners that I hear from, asking me how they can persuade their ex to come back. Today I discuss this topic.
I have had multiple messages from people in the same situation – they have told a lie to someone they love and now regret it but are too scared to open up and be honest in case their loved one abandons them.
Today I do 2 video requests. Whose fault is it when we feel awful? If we struggle with pain from our past and therefore lash out at family members – are we entitled to? Should cut toxic people out of our lives? Yes! How do we do that?
For many of us with BPD, the help just isn’t available, whether that’s due to where we live, finances or waiting lists. Does that mean recovery just isn’t possible? Nooooo! We can still recover and today I discuss this in todays video. I also discuss my new website, bpdtribe.com, which will hopefully be launching in […]
Today I discuss some helpful skills that can help you to let go of your fears and unhealthy core beliefs.
Today we take the first step on removing any unhelpful and unhealthy core beliefs and fears that keep us trapped, unable to progress with our recovery.
Did you know that 95% of our brain activity happens at an unconscious level. For those of us with mental health issues, BPD, addiction etc. this is HUGE. We are literally being run by a mind that we are not even aware of!
Today I discuss law of attraction. I discuss it in religious, spiritual and scientific terms. I personally have experienced law of attraction and today I share that with you.
We can be left with so much guilt and shame when we see the hurt that our BPD causes our family. Our families just want us to be well – but often when we see how hurt they are we can get so caught up in the guilt that we forget to focus on the […]
How do you gently but firmly let someone with BPD know that they need to try and stop getting your attention? Tgis very much depends on the relationship you have with the person with BPD and in what way they are causing you to feel as if you have had enough.
In todays vid I discuss how we can have our feelings invalidated and the negative affect it has on us. I also discuss how loved ones can validate how we feel and the importance of this in helping us to self regulate our emotions.
I got asked to discuss how my relationship with my ex-husband was and is today. Do we co-parent well or are there still issues today? Our relationship was intense and unstable from the beginning and eventually we divorced. I used cocaine throughout our marriage and he hated me using drugs. Today myself and my ex-husband […]
Those of us with BPD often find that we copy other peopes look, personality and even behaviour. Why do we do this? What is the reason behind it?
Today I discuss how we tell the difference between being rightfully upset over something or whether we are just being overly sensitive. Do we isolate because we are generally busy or are we isolating on purpose? What about when we have a partner who constantly blames our BPD for our symptoms?
Break-ups are hard for anyone, let alone when we have BPD and extrememly intense emotions. Today I give some tips on how to get you through the aftermath of a break-up.
Do people with BPD suffer with forms of psychosis? Today I discuss this aswell as Dissociation. A BPD trait is feeling paranoid and/or out of touch with reality. Dissociation is our brains way of protecting us from emotional pain. It is often formed in childhood due to trauma…but in adulthood it only causes us to […]
4 vid requests today. 1st – good jobs or career choices for those of us with BPD. 2nd – Feeling misunderstood and getting frustrated and impatient at others. 3rd – Putting our guard up to protect ourselves 4th – What led to my suicide attempts.
3 vid requests in one today. 1st vid discusses how we can lash out in a complete rage and what we can start to do about this. 2nd vid discusses the fact that most people can tick some of the BPD trait boxes at some point in their lives. 3rd vid discusses teenagers with BPD […]
Today I do 2 video requests – 1. Having an F.P (Favorite person), what’s healthy and what is not. 2. How Fear of abandonment can manifest in us. Don’t forget to click the link below and sign up to be notified of personal appearances, events etc. The more of you that sign the more likely […]
Unstable relationships is one of the traits of BPD. Our relationships can be so unhealthy that we lose sight of what a healthy relationship looks like. In this vid I discuss traits of a healthy relationship and some steps we can take to have one.
Today I discuss recovery – mainly things we can put into practice today and self-soothing techniques that work for me.
Today I discuss how it feels to see people that we used to hang around with – back when things were bad. Once we are in recovery how do we cope when seeing ex-friends etc.?
Those of us with BPD can behave in such a way that loved ones are left feeling helpless. Today I try to help loved ones understand the nature of BPD and give tips on how they can take care of themselves.
Today I discuss the BPD trait Unclear or Unstable self-image. Many of us struggle with this, to the point where we don’t know who we are. We wear a ‘mask’ and adapt to our surroundings, desperately trying to fit in, but to the point where it is detrimental to ourselves. Below is the link so […]
I discuss how the different traits of BPD can impact our relationships, causing them to be unstable. Fear of abandonment, black and white thinking, unclear self image – they all affect our relationships. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Big-Book-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1936268612/ref=sr_1_1?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1525438367&sr=8-1&keywords=the+big+book+on+borderline+personality+disorder&dpID=51wwIUM7FBL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch https://www.amazon.com/Big-Book-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1936268612/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1525438432&sr=8-2&keywords=the+big+book+on+borderline+personality+disorder
Main vid starts at about 5 mins 50 secs! Today I discuss how I knew I had something wrong as a teenager – but others didn’t agree, thinking I was hormonal.
Today I discuss my journey with DBT. The difficulties at the beginning, how I didn’t think it would work for me and how eventually it did. I also have a favour to ask of you! Message me on instagram, twitter or facebook. Links to my social network pages are on my channel homepage.
Today I discuss 4 different topics in one video. 1st: Feeling ashamed and embarassed after an outburst. 2nd @ 7.50 mins: My recovery experience – how I was then to how I am now. 3rd @ 17.45 mins: Partners dealing with a jealous bpd partner and 4th @ 22.27mins: Toxic people in our lives.
Hi my lovelies – if you are interested in pre-ordering my book which comes out at the end of the year you can now do so if you go to www.unhookedmedia.com . You can also sign up for notifications about any events I may be attending. Also… myself and my good friend (and publisher), Megan […]
Today I discuss the impact of being bullied and give you some advise around what you should do if a) you are being bullied now and b) you have been bullied in the past.
I spent years addicted to cocaine but could never admit that I had a problem, preferring to believe that I was in control rather than admitting the drugs controlled me. Physically and mentally it destroyed me . Luckily I have been clean for nearly 5 years and life is so much better than my using […]
Today I discuss what is going on for me at the moment – catastrophising over two kittens that I don’t even have yet!
We can often believe everyone is out to get us or judging us and this can cause us anxiety. Therapy can be physically and mentally draining but it is so neccessary for our recovery.
When someone we love passes away we can be left absolutely devestated. For those of us with BPD the emotions we experience are so intense and all consuming and we often turn to unhelpful coping mechanisms such as self-harming, drinking or using drugs. Today I discuss helathy ways of coping with grief.
Today I discuss 2 separate topis – how those of us with BPD freak out over the smallest change and then trichomania, which involves picking our hair or skin.
I believe when we think we are experiencing boredom, it is actually the BPD trait chronic feelings of emptiness. We can all experience this trait in different ways.
Today I brieftly discuss the 9 traits of BPD and how it is possible to recover from this devastating mental illness.
Fear of Abandonment is a core trait of BPD, although lots of people who don’t have BPD do still have this trait. Today I discuss my fear of abandonment and a few skills on how to overcome it.
Today I finally got my flip chart out to do a little brain workshop with you! I discuss the Limbic System (amygdala, hippocampus, hypothalamus) and the pre-frontal cortex and cortisol.
A lot of us can find ourselves in a vicious cycle of being in and out of hospitals – how do we break this cycle?
Two vids in one today guys. I will be discussing the intense rage of us with BPD and also discussing the pros and cons of setting up your own mental health YouTube channel.
Hi guys, I am so sorry I have been away for a few weeks, I have been poorly and only just starting to recover. I will put out a proper video on Friday – I just wanted to let you know I am still here. Lots of love xxx
Just a quick live check in to see how you are all doing and check you are keeping safe.
Today I discuss the DBT Skills Wise Mind ACCEPTS. Practice the distraction skills often to see them become easier to use when you need them most.
Today I discuss the DBT Skills IMPROVE the moment.
Christmas is a time when we often see family members whom we only see once a year. Sometimes there can be family disputes or awkwardness – Here are a few ways to cope over the Christmas period.
Imposter syndrome is so common – it is when we feel like we are an imposter, a fraud and we fear that we are going to get found out.
It’s that time of year where ‘everyone’ seems to be going out and having the best time or buying the best presents – and we can be taken over with a fear of missing out – we want what they have. We forget a lot of what we see on social media is an illusion […]
It’s now December 1st and or stress levels can start going through the roof. Christmas can be a difficult time of year and I discuss that and offer some advice.
What is the difference between a crush and being obsessed with someone? When has the line been crossed?
Throughout my life I have suffered with the odd obsession over someone. Today I discuss these obsessions and give advise on how to stop obsessing.
Our fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, bad self image and paranoia all add to how we can perceive something to be rejection. And rejection hurts – a lot!
In this video I explain the HPD traits and then discuss the similarities and differences between HPD and BPD.
Today I answer a few questions raised in my last video on Narcissistic personality disorder.
Comparing the 2 cluster b personality disorders – I look at both the similarities and the differences.
There are lots of similarities between these 2 personality disorders – but there are also some key differences. Today I discuss them in this video.
My brother has a degnerative and progressive disease in which there is no cure – but he is a fighter and as a family we are staying strong and are going to help him fight this. My brother actually has his own website www.photraxia.com. Feel free to check it out xxx
I apologise that my little girl is babbling in the background! I will make sure she is asleep next video! In this video I discuss the various traits of the 10 different personality disorders.
I’ve had to do a video on no particular video today as the kids are home and are insisting on being in my video!
I have always wanted to know the ending to films – the ending to books etc. Only then can I relax and enjoy what I’m watching/reading. Also – I absolutely can NOT watch anything sad – not even cartoons! I am really sorry guys but I repeat the story of the hippogriff in this video […]
I used to think a partner could fix me and make me better…so long as they did what I wanted them to do. If they did something that upset me I would threaten to self-harm – if they still didn’t listen to what I wanted I would then go ahead and self-harm and then I […]
A quick catch up as I haven’t done one for a while. I have so much on at the moment but just want to curl up in bed and sleep!
An impulsive reckless behaviour that we may exhibit might be sleeping with strangers. We want to feel loved and secure and often mistakenly think sleeping with someone is the answer to that – which is never is. In fact it more often than not makes us feel so much worse.
Can cannabis be used to medicate our BPD?
People with borderline often have another disorder – whether it’s depression, anxiety or all of them. Panic attacks are scary – but our body is reacting normally – the problem is when we perceive something to be a threat – and it is not a threat. Our anxiety is not justified.
Us borderlines suffer with extreme moods and intense emotions. One part of recovery is learning ways we can regulate our emotions – food is an important part of this!
I have had a lot of people ask me about this so thought I would do a video on everything from deciding to have a baby, too pregnancy and afterwards.
There are some channels on BPD out there that paint us in a really negative light. Here is my advise on this subject.
A HUGE thank you to all my subscribers for helping my channel reach 5000 subscribers!
With BPD we have a fear of abandonement, we have low self esteem – and we have intense emotions – it’s no wonder we start feeling jealous and then acting on it. We really do need to learn to rationalise things though because our jealousy and clinginess often pushes those we love away.
I believe I was addicted to drugs and alcohol as it was my coping mechanism to help me deal with my unstable moods and intense emotions. Once the bpd was in control the addictions went away.
I’ve finally persuaded my Mum to join me in a video! in this video I ask her questions and she advises both famiily members of those with BPD and also those with BPD.
Suffering with our mental health can cause us to be very lonely. Suffering with anxiety can stop us doing something about this. Here are some tips on overcoming these problems and learning to make friends.
I discuss my experience around this step.
What is the difference between a low mood and depression? How does depression appear outwardly. I forgot to mention in the video that sometimes .I would literally feel nothing when I was depressed – I was numb inside. Often when we are depressed we do not even know we are depressed. If you think you […]
If you are in a relationship with someone who has the same disorder as yourself it is going to be a difficult relationship – especially to start with. I give you some tips on how to make it work.
Not everyone is offered DBT – sometimes people are on a waiting list for 2 years or more and other people can’t afford it. What does it mean for these people? Should they just give up on recovery if they are not offered therapy? Absolutely not! Recovery is possible for everyone.
The word resentment comes from the from the french word re (as in to do again) and sentir which comes from the Latin word Sentire meaning to feel. So resentment means ‘to re-feel’. I discuss how resentments start and how they continue and grow and the importance of letting them go.
If you want to receive you own Black Sheep Pin message me privately on here or on Instagram with your name and address and I will get one out to you ASAP! Remember once you have your pin – to 1. Wear it with pride! and 2. Take a Selfie of yourself wearing it and […]
I have been through this where as I have been in recovery a while and all of a sudden feel like the BPD is back!! That is not the case though and is all part of the recovery process. If you are going through this just keep going! You are doing AMAZING!
I have redone this video, answering a few questions that I received on the first video I did on this subject. I take you back again to the first time I tried it and how it made me feel, but I also discuss how it progressed afterwards.
I spent years and years eaten up with jealousy and resentment. I never realised my jealousy goes all the way back to when I was a child. It is with hindsight that I can see where I was jealous and the reasons for my jealousy. Recovery has helped be let go of the negative feelings. […]
Do I believe in the label of Borderline Personality Disorder? Should we get diagnosed or are we better without being labled?
We can read so many negative points to having BPD – it’s about time we started to look at the positives – and they are there! We need to focus more on them.
There are friends who don’t understand BPD and ‘friends’ who just don’t want to understand it. I discuss the differences in this video – and what makes a good friend and what doesn’t.
The school holidays are always a struggle – especially the summer holidays as they go on for what feels like forever. Here are a few things I do to help me cope!
I could get attactched to places as well as people. When I would be separated from someone or some place I was attactched too I would be filled with anxiety.
Hi guys, this is a little catch up of what’s going on at the moment. I am going to have to reduce the amount of vids I put out for the next few weeks and I explain why in the video.
When I googled this topic all I could find was info on people with bpd being the abuser. A lot of times it is the person with bpd that gets abused though.
I used to be consumed with loneliness and I really didn’t believe I would ever feel differently. I was so alone and so desperate and yet I didn’t know what to do to escape this feeling.
I have been fortunate enough to be helping with a new charity that has been set up in the US. In this video I get to explain all to you!
I know how hard it is being a new Mum especially when the borderline personality disorder is not being managed. Lack of sleep, bad food choices and extreme emotions all play a big part, I discuss in detail the problems we have and ways we can help ease them.
I have always been a people pleaser and always wanted to be the ‘perfect partner’. But when they were not the perfect partner back I would be resentful and angry.
Most people feel angry at some point in their lives – it becomes a problem though when we can not control this anger. I discuss some coping strategies in this video.
Throughout my life I have had many embarassing situations . My BPD caused me such intense emotions and I did not know how to control them – and it didn’t matter who was around.
“Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others”. I discuss my experience around this step.
My whole life I have been an open book and told everyone everything aboutmyself – this has caused me so much hurt in the past. Today I am selective (believe it or not considering I have a TY channel!) with who I share information with and what information I share.
There are ‘people’ that say c-ptsd is the same as BPD cormorbid with PTSD. I discuss the similarities and the differences in this video.
My whole life I have had trust issues with women – is this a BPD tthing? Is it justified? Do other women really not like us?
There have been studies done looking at both the differences and similarities between men and women with Borderline Personality Disorder. I discuss these differences in this video.
Hindsight is an amazing thing. Back when I was 14 I thought I had met the love of my life and he could do no wrong. It is only looking back now that I can see the relationship for what it was – abusive and unhealthy.
I HATED therapy to start with so I understand how others feel regarding this. Here I tell my story and how therapy can help everyone. I believe we can all take something out of therapy no matter how big or small – but how much you put in effects how much you get out.
I received a comment the other day from a lady who had been really hurt by her BPD mother. Whilst I understand her hurt and anger I have to disagree that all people with BPD are the same. I discuss my own children in this video and why I don’t believe I minimize things in […]
I have fabricated stroies most my life so people like me. I would also agree with anything anyone said just so they would accept me. I didn’t have my own opinion – and if I did I’d keep it to myself. In the end I didn’t even know what stories were true and which ones […]
All mental health has stigma attatched but for some reason BPD has a bigger stigma attactched!
The way I would interpret what people would say had a big impact on the way I would then react and behave. So why do we perceive things differently to non-BPD’s?
A massive thank you to all my subscribers! I literally want to hug and squeeze you all! Big Love xxx
Without meaning to do us Borderlines alienate ourselves from other people and cause them to think badly of us? #stigma #mentalhealth #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpdstigma
Are Borderlines all compulsive liars? Why is there a link between BPD and lying?
When someone leaves us we are left feeling absolutely heartbroken. If you also struggle with your mental health chances are you will find yourself not knowing how to cope.
I have been in this vicious cycle many times and it is so hard to break the cycle – but it is possible. If the relationship is really unhealthy it is important you learn to break the cycle.
We are living in a world where we are constantly hearing about terror attacks. This can either heighten our anxiety that is already there or give us anxiety if we don’t have it. How can we manage this?
If you are having suicial thoughts and you do not feel you can keep yourself safe please go to your local A&E, your doctor, a family member or friend. Do not isolate and stay on your own.
I got asked if life is going well and you are feeling good about yourself – is it time to stop therapy?
Social media can be addictive and also make us feel mixed emotions and less than. I discuss the negatives of bpd here.
Impulsive Reckless Behaviour is a trait of BPD. When we think of this we think of drink, drugs, sex etc. This is not the only way it manifests though.
I got asked what my opinion is regarding self-diagnosis and I discuss that in this video.
What happens when a ‘high-functioning Borderline’ can not function? Also – is there even such thing as a high-functioning borderline?
I have done this video for a guy who messaged me. He was bullied and was shot and ended up in a coma. Thankfully he survived but is now really struggling with his mental health.
More and more people are feigning having a mental health illness – why is this?
Just like BPD manifests itself in different ways eg. extrovert, quiet bpd etc. there are also different levels of BPD which I discuss in this video.
The thought of recovery scared me to start with – BPD was my life – it is all I knew.
A lot of people have a fear around mental health units and would never even consider admitting themselves on to a ward voluntarily! But could this attitude acctually stop us getting the help we need?
Once someone with BPD starts therapy, partners can often hope to notice changes within weeks – unfortunately it is not that simple.
I have heard this time and time again – Borderliners are wild in bed! But how true is this and if true why is this?
So often our emotions become so intense that we just react suddenly without worrying about the consequences.
Sorry this video wasn’t out last night guys – I have spent the past few days vomiting and sleeping! Hope you are all well xxx
Today I discuss how my therapists, psychologists and group therapy helped me but also when something isn’t working.
How do our parents feel about our BPD? Do We blame them? Can we talk to them about it?
I believe BPD is partly genetic and partly due to our upbringing. I was asked if I was worried that I will pass it on to my kids.
We can suffer with black and white thinking and push our inlaws away – how can we cope with this especially if they don’t know we have BPD.
How do you go about getting help for BPD if you think you may have it but don’t yet have a diagnosis?
The kids are back at school and I’m happy I can get back in to a routine!
Sorry the sound isn’t great in this video – I mustn’t have connected the mic properly. Throughout nearly all of my relationships I would test my partners to see if they loved me – a lot of the time they weren’t even aware that I did these tests!
I hope you all have a lovely Easter and bank holiday xxx
Why would we suffer with hypochondria? Could it be because we are crying out for attention?
Nobody likes to admit that we can do these things – but unfortunately I have done all of them. I do not believe it makes us bad people though – we act in desperation.
Believe it or not BPD has some positives! The deep love we feel is one of them. I did not want to lose those feel-good feelings when I came in to recovery.
Some people just do not believe in Mental Health unfortunately and this video discusses your options if one of those people include a family member.
I was one of the worlds best at making excuses not to go out. This can become very isolating though and unhealthy.
I often here from men saying their bpd wife/girlfriend has cheated on them and they don’t know what to do.
A brief description of my channel and my playlists on Youtube.
BPD and Bipolar can seem very similar at a first glance – here I discuss the similarities and differences. I am no expert on bipolar however and if you think I may have gotten something wrong please feel free to tell me and I will correct it in another video!
Considering how many people suffer with BPD it is surprising what a high number of people are actually misdiagnosed before being diagnosed as having borerline personality disorder. Here I discuss some of the reasons for this.
There are a few different theories on the cause of BPD which I discuss here.
For years I hated myself and recovery from this was a slow process – but it is possible as today I know longer hate myself.
I have previously done videos on meds but decided to recap on things as I have been asked a few time to do a ‘medication video’.
Being a Mum is hard – let alone when you also suffer with your mental health. This video explains why it is important to make time for you and how you can do that.
My son has been ill and has hung off my leg for the past week so I’ve been unable to do anything! Also – my head is not with it at the moment and I need some video ideas!
I get asked a lot if people with BPD or mental health issues should be having children. I would say yes – but support is so important. I was under a special team of midwives called the Sunshine Team and they helped me get through my pregnancy safely.
Myself and my best friend Joanne met and became friends in recovery so we discuss that in this video.
This is my first guest speaker – and she’s my bestie – Jo!!!! Jo does my Tweets for me – those of you who follow me on Twitter will be used to her tweets! I am so happy you guys are finally meeting her!
Sorry Guys – this video was supposed to be up on Friday but I’ve had problems with my laptop! All sorted now (thanks to my amazing Step-Dad!) xxx
A quick update on my own mental health!
‘Made a list of all persons harmed and became willing to make amends to them all’. In this video I discuss my experience around this step.
I used to feel like I was on a complete high at times – times when I hadn’t actually taken anything. I would be completely hyper – but eventually my mood would crash and it was awful.
When should you tell a new partner you have a mental health issue – or should you even tell them at all? If you do tell them – how should you do that?
I hit 2000 subscribers! Thank you thank you thank you! xxx I also explain where a few of my videos are in this catch up.
Should we tell our kids about our mental health and if so how do we do it?
How do we stop ourselves taking our anger out on our kids?
I always needed to be liked – I couldn’t bare the thought of someone not liking me – and I would go to extreme measures to get them to like me!
I seriously thought I was like Peter Pan. I just did not feel like I had grown up at all. I felt like a lost child stuck in an adults body.
There were times when I would try to develop my own way of recovery by fixing on things. When I did this I would distance myself from my loved ones and be quite cold and cut off from them.
When I broke up with someone I could be devestated one minute only to have completely moved on the next. Why do we do this?
I started dissasociating at a young age and the memory loss soon followed – both short term and long term memory loss.
My Family think I am a completely different person to who I used to be. But it can be hard on families to believe we truly have changed.
Living with black and white thinking can leave those around us on eggshells as they never know when we are going to ‘split’.
Sorry to do another porn video guys! In this video I discuss how porn can be really destructive to relationships.
Us borderliners can cause a lot of hurt to our loved ones. How much should a loved one put up with? What should they do when we kick off?
I had to do this video with my 2 year old on my lap who had just woken from a nap!
A routine is so helpful in recovery and can make life easier for us. But how do we do it?
Here I discuss some of the issues we have with sex – intimacy, promiscuity, low self esteem etc. We can also use porn as a way of getting our needs met without the worry of intimacy!
I can remember the feeling of betrayal and deep hurt I felt when I discovered an ex watched porn.
I always felt different and could be in a room full of people and still feel lonely.
I spent so many years feeling guilt and shame and feeling like I deserved love from nobody! Luckily I don’t feel like that today!
I could be so cold to the people whom I was supposed to love the most.
I was like a chameleon for years – constantly trying to adapt to be like others around me – to the point I didn’t even know who I was or what I liked.
I used to have real issues around sex which I explain in this video.
What if someone you love who you either think has BPD or has been diagnosed refuses to get any help? What if this person is a parent? What are your options?
Where am I from? What tattoos do I have? How did I take care of my kids when I was really low?
What if you have some of the BPD traits but not enough to get an actual diagnosis? Would DBT help?
How does the ‘monthly moods’ effect you differently if you have borderline personality disorder?
The kids had their half term hols, I went to Ireland for my brother’s wedding, I no longer have a house to move in to and I cried for the first time this pregnancy!
I always struggled in the work place. I used to feel people were against me a lot, especially other women. I struggled to hold down a job.
In this video I discuss my childhood as well as trying to answer this question.
There was a time I couldn’t leave my home. I hated myself and I isolated. Life is not like that for me today luckily so I know there is a way out.
I was an extrememely jealous person who would cling on to both partners and also friends!
Do all BPD parents damage their children? Is this a general rule or in extreme cases?
I have personal experience with this as I have been asked by my children what are the scars on my arms. Obviously I can not tell you exactly what to say or even if how I deal with it the right way but this video explains how I tackle this subject.
It has just been pointed out to me that I mentioned the teddy story twice! I did wonder if I had mentioned it as I started talking and then I thought ‘No – no you didn’t!’ Duh! Sorry guys – serious baby brain and tiredness going on! My Day is like Groundhog day! I get […]
Question 1: Is only 6 months of DBT worth it? Question 2: How do people with BPD deal with being broken up with and also how do they break up with others?
Question 1: Am I married? Question 2: How is my relationship now?
Hi Guys, sorry it has been over a week since I uploaded a video. I’ve had a really busy week as I will explain in the video. Also – I will be doing Q+A videos which I mention at the end of this video!
In this video I talk about the 7 Improving the moment skills.
I used to HATE the fact that a partner had a past. The thought that they had been with anyone else (even though it was before I’d ever met them!) made me feel really angry at them!
Is Recovery Easy? How long does it take? Will it get any better?
As I feel we are all friends now…I would like to invite you in to my home… xxx
I still keep getting ill, I feel 100 years old, I’ve accidently killed my sons pet critters!!!!
As a family member of an addict or alcoholic you can go through so much. What are your options? How can you help?
In this video I discuss how I felt before I had a diagnosis, how and when I got a diagnosis and how it made me feel after.
With BPD we can have times where we start to feel normal – and then the low hits and we are unable to function.
How did I start to beat the bulimia?
Do people with BPD cheat more than other people? Can the BPD make a person cheat? What should you do?
Do Borderliners get rejected more than most people, or does it just feel that way? How did I cope with rejection and how do I cope today?
I believe there are different options for different addicts – are you dual diagnose or have you just been having a bit too much fun that has got out of hand? Or could you be an ‘addict of the hopeless variety’?
It is so hard whilst dealing with your mental health or addiction issues when you are a parent – so what should you do?
I had my baby scan….it’s a…..
Quiet Borderlines express their intense emotions differently to someone who is a ‘normal’ BPDer!
If you are pregnant and the BPD is not being managed chances are you are going to struggle. Do not feel guilty or ashamed by this — instead talk, talk, talk and get the help you need.
Do you think you are in a codependent relationship? Do you want to save someone else? Do you think you can’t live without someone else? This video briefly explains codependency.
I have been ill and grumpy and not been the best Mum this week!
I am soooooo tired!
I keep getting asked what meds I am on. I decided to do a video on it to finally answer people BUT I must point out that what works for me might NOT work for you! Also, I am not a doctor!! I can not tell you what meds will work well for you!
I use a chart to explain BPD. I have done a similar video ages ago but thought I would update and re-do it!
If you want to have a great job, relationship etc and you are really struggling with the BPD, you need to put those things on hold for now and focus on your recovery. Once the BPD is under control you can have all those things that you want and finally enjoy life.
I talk about the games I would play to try and hunt out ‘evidence’ that my partner was cheating!
In this video I discuss borderline personality disorder and sexuality…and my issues!
What do Mums, Dads, siblings of people with Borderline Personality Disorder go through?
I am completely out of routine at the moment and am getting scared about the school run which will be back in about a week! How will I ever make it?!
I do not know if many others have suffered with this but I did for years so thought I would do a quick video on it to see if anyone else can identify!
This isn’t about suppressing your emotions but more about teaching you to act on them in a more beneficial way that will have a more positive outcome.
What things can you do to help you have a healthy, happy relationship whilst also struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder?
Today I talk about what my friendships were like when I was struggling with BPD and how my friendships are nowadays.
What does a genuine loving partner of someone with BPD go through and what should they do – stay and support their partner or walk away?
My previous relationships were always so unhealthy and unstable. I suffered severe jealousy, rage, neediness and always felt I needed to be with someone as I was too scared to be on my own. Luckily my relationship today is very different.
Building positive experiences in to your life is so important as you need to balance out the negative experiences! In this video I give some ideas on how to build these positive experiences in to your life.
It has been over a week since my daughter hurt herself now and I thought I’d do a quick catch up on how we are getting on.
I have received so many comments from people who are truly desperate and feel so alone and I felt compelled to do this video. I want you to know you are NOT alone – I even looked up statistics to see just how huge BPD is! I feel on a bit of a mission now […]
My Daughter had to go under general anesthetic after smacking her face in to a windowsill. It has been a nightmare weekend and I still feel I am recovering from it! My daughter is on the mend but I just want to wrap her in cotton wool! I will be back next week with more […]
When I was first diagnosed with BPD I was so scared that this was it – this was how the rest of my life would be. Luckily that wasn’t the case – bpd is treatable and manageable and you can go on to lead a happy fulfilling life. Plus you get to meet my boyfriend […]
Steps 6 and 7 are taken together, thus the video is of them both together. These steps are about becomming willing to have our defects removed. One thing to note is that by doing these steps we are not trying to be perfect – just better than we were!
In this video I talk about the various things that I need to manage in order to stay clean from drug addiction.
I often felt like I literally had a beast that lived inside of me. When I had an ‘episode’ I would turn in to the most vile, nasty person…and yet that is not who I was. I have now managed to ‘tame my beast’ with the help of learning skills – and I know that […]
Hi guys – sorry I have been away for a couple of weeks but…I’m pregnant! For the past few weeks I’ve felt so tired and so sick…but it is now easing and I’m back doing weekly videos again!
I often use lipstick as a cream blusher and a lipstick. Lips and cheeks can be sooo simple to do.
This is how I tend to wear my eye make-up on a daily basis. I like to use a bright lippy so stick to a neutral eye colour.
I use powder, pencil and gel in this video to define my brows.
In this video I apply an under eye serum and Touche Eclat!
I have included a make-up section on my channel and website as I believe it can help build self esteem. My make-up tutorials are really basic! In this video I show how to apply foundation with either your fingers, brushes or a sponge!
I have come off some of my meds, I’ve had poo on my finger and I don’t get to ‘sexy-dance’ any more!
This is the ‘dreaded’ step in which we have to admit our defects to someone else – ARRRRRRR! I think the worse you feel before – the better you feel after – so chin up!
In this video I hope to explain to loved ones of someone with BPD just what it is like to live with on a daily basis.
Step 4 is the first action step. ‘Made a Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory of Ourselves’. In this video I talk about my fears around doing it but also the importance of this step.
In this video I discuss how family members of people with borderline personality disorder can deal with the bpd sufferer and what is helpful and unhelpful.
This week I had my son’s birthday party, my other son had chicken pox, my partner peed me off (and I probably peed him off too!), I cooked dinner for friends and I had 2 pyjama days!!
Today is my son’s 5th birthday and it got me thinking about when he was born. It was a couple of months after his birth that the world that I knew and loved collapsed around me… but I believe I had to go through that to be where I am today.
What is the difference between a primary feeling and a secondary feeling? Why do we have feelings? How are our thoughts linked to our feelings? In this video I touch on how our feelings lead to our actions and the process that goes on in between.
This week my washing machine broke, my car broke and my son threw a middle-of-the-night tantrum! I have a son that walks slightly slower than a snail and another son who thinks it’s fine to wrestle his way out of the pram as it’s moving! Rarrrrrr!
I did this video for anyone out there that has or is considering suicide. I had multiple suicide attempts over the years and it is only now that I am so grateful they were unsuccessful, as life has so much to offer me now. There was a time when I thought I would never escape […]
In this video I explain the fourth Distress Tolerance skill – Pro’s and Con’s and how it can help you.
In this video I discuss using your 5 senses to self-soothe when you are overwhelmed with negative emotions.
In this video I talk about the first skill of distress tolerance – Distracting. If you want some skills to put in place when dealing with distress or pain then watch this video. I used to either drink, use drugs, self harm or attempt suicide whenever I dealt with a painful situation. These skills helped […]
In this video I discuss step 3, the struggles I had with it and how I overcame them.
In this video I discuss how my Easter went – I struggled with my lack of routine and had some serious mood swings!
In ths video I talk about when I got bullied at an all girls school and the effect it had on my life.
In this video I explain the first component of DBT – Core Mindfulness.
In this video I talk about what DBT is and how it can help people.
In this video I show you how I was taught Mindfullness back when I did DBT and how it helps me.
In this video I explain how I struggled with my emotions throughoout my teenage years and I didn”t know what was wrong with me.
In this video Italk about how cocaine effected me pschologically. From collecting slugs in the garden to crawling around on my belly…
In this video I discuss my experience around Step 2.
In this video I briefly explain what DBT is and what the four sections are that make it up. I don’t yet go i n to teaching you any of the skills I have learnt through DBT – those videos will be coming over the next few weeks.
In this video I just catch up with you and explain how my Christmas and New Year went.
In this video I talk about my experience around step 1.
As an addict, ex addict or someone with mental health problems, Christmas can be a really hard time of year. In this video I discuss some of the things I do to help me get through the festive season.
In this video I talk about my experience with Social Services and my feelings around it.
In this video I talk briefly about a parenting course that I did and how it helped me.
In this video I explain how I have been unwell for a month and the doctor says it’s all my fault!!
In this video I tell you why I prefer exercise classes over the gym.
In this video I explain that you don’t need to run a marathon to start with!!! You could walk to the shop instead of driving (Like me – who drives 30 seconds to the shop!)
In this video I tell you about the first time I tried cocaine and how it made me feel.
In this video I talk about what it felt like when I started drinking.
In this video I discuss the stresses that come with being in a relationship early on in recovery.
In this video I talk about how important it is to make time for myself.
In this video I discuss how grateful I am that I am a Mum today rather than 50 years ago!
In this video I discuss how much easier my life is made by having a strict routine.
In this video I briefly talk about the books by Rhonda Byrne. I’ll possibly do another video on this at a later date and talk in slightly more detail! Amazon links: The Secret (Rhonda Byrne). The Power (Rhonda Byrne). The Hero (Rhonda Byrne). The Magic (Rhonda Byrne).
In this book I very briefly discuss the ‘Big Book’. I am not speaking on behalf of AA I am simply giving my opinions about the book. Amazon links: Alcoholics Anonymous – Big Book.
In this video I discuss why having a hobby is so important for me.
In this video I discuss alcohol and heroin detox. I must add that detox alone is not an effective addiction treatment. BUT – it’s a vital first step. If someone is not clean, chances are treating them for addiction will not be effective.
In this video I talk about not comparing yourself to others and be the best you, rather than trying to be someone else.
In this video I talk about the power of being in a group of same sex people as yourself that all share a common problem, be it mental health or addiction.
In this video I discuss my rock bottom and even though it was the most painful experience ever, it was the best thing that happened to me.
In this video I explain what a 12 Stepfellowship is and does. I must point out I do not talk on behalf of any fellowship – these are my personal opinions.
In this video I discuss how I have suffered with body Dysmorphia.
In this video I discuss how different my life is now compared to when I was using and drinking.
In this video I explain what I thought recovery woukd be like once I had finished rehab.
In this video I discuss the importance of having Friends in Recovery.
In this video I discuss how life isnt rosy just because I’m in recovery. Life can be hard but today I know that drinking and using isn’t the answer to my problems.
In this video I discuss what spirituality means to me.
In this video I talk about what it was like to live with bulimia for 16 years.
In this video I talk about the first time I made myself sick and why I did it.
In this video I talk about my time in Rehab.
In this video I talk about the problems I experienced once I had completed 7 months in rehab.
In this video I discuss what it’s like to be a Mum.
In this video I discuss the problems that come with being a Mum in recovery and how I deal with it.
A spoof. In this video Sher-i-na teaches you to do make-up ‘au-naturel’ with a few tricks thrown in.
In this video I talk about when I hit my rock bottom.
In this video I talk about just how miserable the finak years of my using were.
In this video I discuss what the first few years of using cocaine were like. The first years were very different to the final years.
Possibly the most basic make-up tutorial ever!! In this video I show you what I do on a morning where Im rushing about and have no time and yet I look like a zombie and need to do something to make me look slightly perkier!
In this video I talk you through my skin care routine. I talk about serums, moisturising, toner, masks, scrubs as well as water and green tea! I must excuse the spots as I was having a bad skin day (week!)…
In this video I discuss my views on medication for mental health illnesses.
In this video I talk about my self harming and why I would do it.
In this video I talk about when I suffered post-natal depression.
In this video I discuss how I suffered pre-natally with my third child.
In this video I explain just how much anxiety controlled my life.
In this video I explain what would happen to me physically when I was anxious.
In this video I talk about my thoughts when feeling anxious.
I talk about how I would behave and what I would do when I was depressed.
In this video I talk about how I felt internally when I was depressed.
In this video I talk about my constant fear of being abandoned and what I do to try and stop this from happening!
In this video I talk about how I catastophized about everything!!
In this video I talk about my previous violent outbursts and how my temper was uncontrollable.
In this video I talk about the intrusive thoughts I have had over the years and how they affected me.
In this video I talk about the borderline personality trait of bad self image and how it affected me over the years.
In this video I talk about the borderline personality trait, unstable and intense relationships.
I talk about the Borderline Personality Trait – Intense Emotions – and how they affected me.
In this video I talk about impulsive reckless behaviour that I had including drug use, alcohol and shopping.
I explain what borderline personality disorder is by drawing a graph – it was explained to me this way when I did the STEPPS course.