How did I start to beat the bulimia?

hi guys today I am going to talk about
bulimia and how I got better basically
now I haven't done a bulimia video in a
very long time and there is a reason for
for me the bulimia was the hardest
addiction say to give up it was harder
than drugs and alcohol it was harder
than learning to manage the borderline
personality disorder if you've watched
my previous videos on it you'll know
that when I first started I initially
did it because I wanted to lose a little
bit of weight and I didn't think it'd be
an issue I didn't think it would become
a problem and it really really did and
it completely took over my life to the
point actually that it just became
normal it was just normal it was
something I didn't think about I didn't
really do anything about I mean I did in
my twenties I started going to a special
Eating Disorders Clinic can I have some
counseling but I just felt it wasn't
working maybe I just wasn't ready
I bet either way right the bulimia
carried on and it stayed with me all
through rehab and treatment and I had a
key worker in treatment actually one of
the therapists that worked there and she
worked one-to-one with me and I was
asked to do different things like keep a
food diary and I'd write what I had that
set times not just that how I was
feeling before I ate how I felt as I a
how I felt after and then was I sick
not basically um she taught me
distraction techniques so after like
dinner I just have to go for a walk or
do something to try and keep busy now
for me I found that the feeling of
wanting to be sick didn't go away even
if I like went for a walk
we're not get back that feeling was
still there even though by this point
it's pointless the food would have been
absorbed or whatever you've got the
nutrients you need so it's pointless
then to be sick but I'd still have to do
that because like that urge was just so
great I couldn't bear the thought of
food in my tummy it was just like I
explained in another video I don't know
if any of you've had a huge huge dinner
eating loads and you were just like oh I
can't move I just got to lie down lie
down that's how I'd feel but after just
a small dinner and it was so bad it felt
like that would have to be sick um so in
treatment I think I managed to get two
or three days where I wasn't and I
thought I was on a roll but then it all
came back and when I came out of rehab I
started going to a special eating
disorders hospital I wasn't a living or
anything I just go for my weekly
appointments and again same kind of
thing trying to just talking talking
about food and writing down what he earn
stuff but nothing seemed to work for me
no amount account sling around this work
for me no out writing down what I was
eating worked for me
it just kind of felt nothing was working
now when I was in rehab I was actually
told that eating disorders are the
hardest thing to stop they're harder
than gambling harder than drugs and
alcohol and I know this to be true from
my own experience it was the hardest
hardest thing so what did I do
basically what worked for me was it
wasn't an overnight thing but I had to
change the whole way that I thought
about bulimia and I had to change my
whole thinking around food I had to try
and drum into my head just how unhealthy
and bad for my body bulimia was bulimia
doesn't make you thin because your body
gets so used to it it starts clinging on
to any little thing you put in
straightaway I was actually taught that
your body then learns to as soon as you
put food in your mouth the nutrients I
start to be absorbed through your cheeks
so I had to yeah I had to really
associate negative horrid bad things to
that now that alone wouldn't have helped
me but I then had to start thinking
about not my way not I want to be thin
or like I just want to look us out right
I just I started teaching myself I want
to be healthy I want to have energy I
want to have healthy looking hair
healthy skin you know like and for me it
was a whole lifestyle change I started
thinking well I won't have fizzy drinks
I just have water I drink so much water
a day and I started carrying around my
little bottle
and constantly drinking water I'd be
really aware I've got to have so much
fruit in bed today and healthy fats like
I wasn't all Akane it was fatty like
Connie nuts they're high in fat corny
Africa I think well they're healthy fast
and I learn about nutrition like I'm no
expert but I did start learning a lot
more about nutrition about how much
protein I should have on my plate how
much carbohydrates not cutting one thing
out and going on one of these fad diets
but trying to do stuff the healthy way
and nourish my body and that's how I'd
see it I started thinking I'm gonna be
really fit and really healthy and not
only just that with the food I've start
going to the gym but I was very aware I
couldn't get obsessive about it I
couldn't start thinking I gotta go every
day and freaking out I'd be like every
other day or four times a week and if I
had to miss a session I had to miss a
session I couldn't beat myself up about
it um so yeah for me it was like I had
to just change all my thinking around
everything and start giving myself a new
goal and when I started doing that when
I started drinking water and eating
healthy that I wouldn't have three meals
a day I'd try and have five smaller
meals but when I started doing that and
I started noticing changes in my body
like not oh I was losing weight all that
but getting more toned muscle tone just
getting out of bed in the morning and
having a bit of morning instead of
fighting no energy because the blima
really did drain me of all my energy as
well just because I wasn't getting the
nutrients that I needed and I started
trying to like not just look after
myself inside started saying well I'm
gonna start looking after my skin use an
ice cream useful coke
not oil in my hair or whatever but it
was like the whole package I had to
change everything and I say I'm going to
be this healthy person I'm not going to
talk that I'm just gonna do it and
that's what I did and I felt amazing for
it now don't get me wrong there have
been dips in it but I'm very quickly
able to get back on things now and a
like think I'm a lot healthier than I've
ever been I am drinking coca-cola at the
moment I've got my little bubble oh yeah
I was actually just sat here doing a
video before and I thought I need some
you know Russ I need a fizzy drink it's
only because I'm pregnant I've been
getting these weird cravings like I need
a fizzy drink so just got my shoes on I
walked down shop named my partner I was
like ah I need coke like what I went
yeah I'm going to the shop who's that oh
my god you nearly gave me a heart attack
okay but whose likes who why you so
dramatic I was like oh just because I
really needed out I really needed a
fizzy drink
so yeah I'm like I can relax now um I'm
not gonna beat myself up over having a
Coca Cola it's not the healthiest in the
world obviously but I'm a lot more
relaxed because I can't say I'm gonna be
so healthy I'm gonna be super healthy
I'm so rigid that I don't let myself
have a chocolate bar or you know I can't
miss a day at the gym or stuff because
if I get like that that's unhealthy as
well but I've just got to aim to be a
healthy person and with that everything
started falling into place even I found
eating healthy and doing a bit of
exercising that it helped my mental
health as well I felt less lethargic I
had more energy and they say like
working out doing like bit of exercise
it reliefs in really
Lisa's endorphins in the brain the
feel-good chemicals and yeah I felt good
I think even if you learn DBT some of
the skills they teach you or to do stuff
like that look at what you're eating
look at your sleep pattern and stuff
like that but for the bulimia I found it
really helpful I had to kind of have a
little overhaul of my life really said I
hope that helped
all right guys let's left your bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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