hey yeah i'm going to talk about being a
mum in recovery and there's also single
dads out there in recovery so this video
might will be relevant to them as well
I've previously done a video on being a
mum the guilt you feel how you have no
time lack of sleep no money pretty ruddy
MA so add into the equation someone who
also suffers mental health problems it
was an ex-addict and everything becomes
so much harder because you have no time
anyway now all of a sudden you have to
find time for recovery as well and it is
so important you do this because without
recovery you could lose everything you
have to be happy you have to be well for
your children to be happy and safe loved
I struggle sometimes it's not easy all
the time but I know parents that aren't
in recovery that struggle and sometimes
my kids drive me nuts I told my daughter
who is six by the way that her attitudes
tank and she said it's not my attitude
that stinks mummy hits your cooking sex
so is like sometimes I want to blow my
top I want to go nuts of them and
sometimes I do get in your room because
we can be pushed over the edge but it's
accepting that we're not perfect we're
not martyr we don't have to do it alone
we can't feel guilty about everything
for a long time I felt guilty about
putting my recovery first because I kind
of thought my kids have been through
enough without now I'm doing meetings
all the time
um but I'm at a place now that i see i
have to be well i have to be well for
them to be okay and for them to be happy
now i don't get to do as many meetings
as i want it's particularly hard if
someone's got multiple children say
three or four you're much less likely to
have a babysitter want to babysit that
many children so you can do a meeting
every week so sometimes I just can't do
a meeting I definitely don't get to do
as many as I'd like by kind to have to
work around that I can't use that as an
excuse to relapse or let momentum health
slip I have to make time for myself I do
that by making sure my kids are all in
bed by seven all three of them are in
bed I read till half past seven read
them bedtime stories lights out at half
seven and I then can quickly tidy up get
the uniforms ready for the next day get
the lunch box is ready for the next day
and then I have a couple of hours of me
time and I need that time if I didn't
have it i think i'd probably go insane
and what you doing that time is up to
you you could have a bath give yourself
a face mask watch good film and meditate
just lie there read a magazine read a
book it's entirely up to you really but
i found i need that time don't get me
wrong i adore my children I love them to
pieces but I also need time on my own
time to think over the day and I need
time for my recovery and recovery isn't
all about meetings I can phone other
people in recovery I can look at my
behaviors and there's always literature
that you can read and self-help books
you can read
minimums hard it adds hard and in
recovery but it is doable and you have
to put in time and effort to start with
and it's really hard to find that time
wait for me a strict routine
organization is so important but over
time it does get easier and everything
kind of slips into place I definitely
say don't try to be a martyr don't think
you have to do everything on your own
because you don't and you can go to the
local Children's Center they put on
different courses like i did a parenting
puzzle where i met other mums and we
just learn different skills to help with
parenting i'm going to do a video on it
actually because i found its that core
so helpful and you can ask for a family
support worker there and someone will
sit with you and go through hi what's
worrying you and they can just give you
advice I'm I'd couple of lovely family
support workers and I could just go and
unload all my shit and good old Mon up
and they could give me some advice and
like that oh okay and it was so nice
I've also found like my kids school has
been amazing I can talk to the teachers
they have a family support worker at the
school who I can go in and talk to him
and again just let them know if
something's going on because the
school's priority is obviously your
child and they know same if your child
and if you're happy your child will be
unhappy if things aren't great at home
to answer is going to affect to a child
but is accepting accepting help when
it's offered or looking for help because
you're definitely not on your own and it
promise it will get easier it really
does and it's definitely the hardest to
start with when you're first in recovery
but as time goes by it does get easier