In this video I discuss the stresses that come with being in a relationship early on in recovery.

hi today I'm going to talk about
relationships early on in recovery I can
give you my experience around this
because I met my partner early in
recovery we were both in recovery just
come in i actually got pregnant early in
recovery wouldn't recommend it to anyone
but I also don't regret my son because
he's an absolute angel and I love him to
pieces but it definitely made recovery
harder now they advise against
relationships early in recovery and I
couldn't understand it because I met
going in recovery and I've mazing we
seem to click now with hindsight I see
why they said it because you could have
an argument you could disagree on
something you at the end of the day when
you first come into recovery of both
very sick people you're not well you're
not thinking straight
and chancer there's a bit codependency
you're latched on to each other and and
it will just make you do do risk relapse
because I have seen it happen so I am
one of the few properly well I don't
know I can't say but a lot I know a lot
don't work out I am still with my
boyfriend today that I met in recovery
it is really really hard for us we were
both we kinda came in we're in the same
place we were friends we left treatment
together we we got together I got
pregnant and we both wanted to do
courses and we both wanted the same
thing and da-da-da-da-da and to start
with it was quite easy because my mum
kept holding my children for me so I
could get settled down here she also
knew I was pregnant
is really hard so I had no children so I
could do meetings with my partner every
night we could do meetings together and
we did do them every day we went to
college together and we did everything
together and it was wonderful I had a
not just I had a baby my other two
children came and all of a sudden I
couldn't do meetings every night to
start with my children didn't want me
doing meetings at all and it was really
fucking hard because my partner he could
go and do his meetings and I felt I
couldn't and I built up resentment there
and hatred to his college courses I
couldn't go to college now I had three
children how the hell can you go to
college when you've got three children
and he started doing he was doing
voluntary work I couldn't do any work I
couldn't meet any people so my life
literally became me and the children and
he seemed to be getting voluntary going
into his shares and doing this and that
and I found it really really hard over
time he kind of got more and more
involved in doing work with his sponsor
to better his recovery I couldn't do
that so I kind of had to get on with
real life without that and basically
what I found is our recovery journeys
went very very different life got really
hard like I think we resented each other
a lot and he moved out three or four
months ago he moved him I had a lot of
anger towards him because of that
because I kind of felt like I was really
left in the lurch with the three
I felt he'd walked out and my children
in my world no one's going to turn their
back on me in the kids to be fair he
didn't turn his back
he still came round and he saw them but
I kind of thought yeah if I can't just
pack up and leave no I'd want to I can't
just think no no I need to work on my
record I can't do that and say there was
and possibly still is a bit resentment
there that he did that we I ended the
relationship had to him he didn't want
me to end it I did over time I came
around I said okay because we've got
beautiful son together and he is really
good with my other two children and I
know lots of men wouldn't just wouldn't
be but he is really good my children at
all him and he really adores them and so
I kind of thought no I can't have to try
and make this work so it's finding that
balance like to start with he was around
all the time and I wasn't liking it and
then he wasn't there enough and I wasn't
liking there and it is really really
hard we still can clash I think he could
resent me at times I can within him at
times it's trying to communicate but
when you both addicts with kind of
fucked up heads really and fucked up
thinking it is really really hard but I
do believe I oh gee the best part my
children and I believe he does the best
for the children and it kind of gives us
no time whereas we used to be able to be
together all the time now we have no
time we don't even have time to sit
watch a film together because life has
become all about the children so I
certainly wouldn't recommend it because
things can seem also lovely at the
beginning when you your first come into
recovery but then real life happens and
it can kind of really change everything
I'm sure I'll do more talks about my
relationship or relationships or my past
and but I will leave it there for now
see you guys bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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