hi today I'm going to do a video um on
Christmas it's nearly Christmas right
Christmas is really hard time a year if
you're an addiction or your am suffering
through mental health if you're in
addition is because everyone's going out
drinking and using well not using not
everyone is using but you know what i
mean and and it's hard if you're say
suffering depression because everyone is
so happy and you want to say fuck off
because you're not feeling happy there's
a lot of pressure on us at Christmas
getting people presents we have really
high expectations well I know for me
that was my biggest issue I always
expected everything to go my way and if
it didn't it was like disaster and and I
couldn't cope I was obviously drinking
and using a lot over the Christmas
period my mum would never know if I'd be
coming home Christmas Day because I
would go out on a bender and not come
back there are a few years and row that
every single new years I was in hospital
because I'd attempted suicide New Year's
Eve and my mom would always have to
cancel the New Year's dinner to be SAT
by my side praying that her daughter was
going to make it through it's not like
that today my mental health is much
better and I don't drink and I don't use
drugs so I can be today for my children
and watch their little winky faces get
all excited about Santa and we can go
out wrinkle food for the reindeer and
put out mince pies and and i love it i
really really love it now and so what do
i do right I don't
put pressure on myself anymore I don't
feel I have to buy everyone everything
and skip myself into debt just for one
day in a year and if I times I haven't
had money i have got the kids to do a
little painting each and i've gone and
bought like a cheap picture frame from
like wheel coves and put one right with
three things one painting there one
there and a photo of them there because
the little ones too little to do
paintings yet and for my children's
first-ever christmas now i'm not a
painter i'm going to show you what I did
for my daughter's first Christmas I
wanted to give her something that should
have forever and it was special and I
painted her a picture you've seen my
little mermaid that's right it on the
back of it on the back of the picture
there is a note to her my beautiful
media Daisy and I've written law no then
I didn't like a son kiyan I did the same
you can see from this it's space that's
them the kids in there look at his face
look at my funny little astronaut I've
got aliens down there I'm not an artist
and I did one for my third son um with
her child as well and with dinosaurs and
that but we haven't got room in their
room to hang up so it's at my mum's at
the minute and again on the boys
pictures big letters on the back so it's
something that they will always always
have like I said not an artist but it's
special to them because mummy did you
and another thing i do is especially at
a Christmas time I really try and think
of others and it's not like oh I think
my mates
my family is by people that are a lot
less fortunate I mean people that don't
have homes the homeless people in other
countries warned war-torn countries
countries where this famine no food and
and their things like shoe box appeals
where you can put things in a little toy
and scarf and gloves and shampoo and you
give it like this year it's been done at
the school so each of my kids chose what
age group they want the child for it to
go to and they fill their box shoe box
and we've given it to the school and
it's going to be sent away to people
less fortunate I did that when I was
younger with my mum as well and we used
to do it with their local church and get
the shoe box and get hat scarf gloves in
it go up to homeless people in London
and for me it didn't solve my problems
but one it made me feel good that I was
actually doing something for someone and
and it kind of made me realize how I
haven't got it as bad as some people
there's homeless shelters like night
shelters food but I'm places that you
can go and help and and it will make you
feel better I know you might not want to
drag herself long but um definitely for
me it really really helped and now I do
it like with the children and I mean we
went on the walk the other day and we
saw a homeless person and that's one
lesson I really want to teach my
children is to grow up really grateful
and we might not live in a mansion we
might not have money but you know what
we've got a roof over our head and we've
got food in our belly and that's what's
important and we've got like our
eyesight we've got our here and you know
and we can walk and all those things
that other people they're just not as
fortunate as us and I really want to
instill that in my kids so yeah we kind
of saw a homeless person with he had his
dog and we went in the shops we only had
a few pounds he bought some dog food and
then a little boy he wanted to give the
bought the man and money and um
it's little things like that i think at
Christmas time it's remembering others
and it's not all about the presence it's
really become that way but it isn't
that's not the meaning of Christmas at
all and if you're in recovery and you've
got your little family and you're going
to have a lovely happy Christmas but you
know someone else in recovery that might
be on their own for the day when you
invite them around can be same if like
you if you're suffering with depression
or that and you know other people with
mental health illness isn't you just you
just don't want to sit with your family
then why don't you spend it with your
friends like that understand you and
just have a day with no expectations you
could just I mean there's loads of could
tell you on elf I love elf and yeah just
don't have high expectations I'd say if
you do suffer depression you need to be
around people don't spend the day on
your own and go around sit with your
family you don't have to play all their
games and be all joyous but just go
along because they'd want to have you
there I think that's all i've got to say
really i mean if you're using and you're
a drink on him out why say you're going
to use and drink but if you're just
getting a recovery just don't go out why
put yourself in that situation if you're
only just clean and you haven't got like
that much time behind you i just
wouldn't go out stay in and watch a good
film i did that last New Year's and it
was one of the best new years I've ever
had I just lay on my sofa and really
enjoyed it and and i think i'll be doing
that this year as well so um yeah i'll
leave it there guys happy Christmas
bye