My Daughter had to go under general anesthetic after smacking her face in to a windowsill. It has been a nightmare weekend and I still feel I am recovering from it! My daughter is on the mend but I just want to wrap her in cotton wool! I will be back next week with more videos as I am afraid I just haven’t been able to do them this week.
hi guys and welcome to my weekly catch up I had planned on doing an emotion regulation video today I'd planned on doing steps eight and nine today of the 12 steps and I haven't done it and and I'm going to explain why I have just had possibly the weekend from hell I went away for my mom's 60th birthday we went to the New Forest and we had a lovely big house it was mine and my step dad and brother i'm a partner and the kids and obviously my mom and it was amazing and we had a such nice day unlike the saturday because they had a hot tub on the balcony and the kids will just had such fun enjoying the lovely sunshine on this sunday which was actually my mum 60th and we woke up and I could hear my daughter playing she was in my mom's room and I was in my bedroom and all of a sudden she screamed and I know my daughter like she can fall and hurt herself but this was just a different cry and I knew something was wrong so I went running in to my mom's room and my mom was SAT there with her she was screaming my mum had something on her mouth and my mom like said it's really bad and the way she said it her voice was quivery I knew all might like oh my god what's happened my mum said I think she needs the hospital and she showed me her mouth I've got picture here basically my daughter had been jumping on the bed and there was a sofa and it looked perfectly safe um kids jump on beds I'm always telling them don't jump on the bed it drives me crazy but they don't listen to me and anyway so she was jumping she jumped to the sofa there was a window sill behind the sofa and she has smacked her face into the window and it split her lip I've got the photo here as you can see it's not just the lip it goes down the chin um the whole lip you can see that was in half this photo I took she'd been holding it so it like pushed it back so that was taken and it didn't look as bad when my mom showed me the whole lip was literally hanging down and I knew I had to get her to a hospital we grabbed her me my partner got in the car went to the hospital the hospital we went to said she needs to go under general because it's not just there she needed the face we can't put back she needs to go under general anesthetic you need to get this hospital so we drove half an hour to another hospital I don't know how I drove my body was going into shock which I know it wasn't me but was my little girl and she's like my little princess and I just felt so helpless like seeing her like that I mean she was amazing she'd stopped crying she'd calmed down and she was just SAT holding it and as a mum watching your little girl your child going through that and just wanting to take the pain away and have it yourself and not being able to do anything being completely helpless Oh so we got to the other hospital we were really lucky and they got a book today said to us look it might be a way we're really lucky actually because that morning had two brothers had breakfast and she said I don't want anything yet so she hadn't eaten and we got straight into theatre basically with her and her dad came he drove like he was an hour away he lives two hours away he was an hour away which was quite lucky so it didn't take him as long together he came she was only allowed one person into theatre with her and I gave her the option who'd you want she said you mommy and so I went in but obviously it's only while they put them to sleep and then you got to leave the room and I just burst into tears leaving the room theatre just lying there my precious precious little girl throughout the whole thing she was so brave she was like amazing I was a mess like I'm not you squeamish except like if I've had a tooth pulled out on my wisdom tooth when they took my implant out and my body goes into like shocked I start shaking i think i'm going to vomit I think I'm going to faint and that was happening it just kept happening I don't know if it was like cool and pregnant and I hadn't had breakfast and she said to me because she wasn't allowed it was nil by mouth so she wasn't allowed to drink and she was like mommy will you not so obviously I won't um because I wanted to sit there and I just felt mean if I'd SAT there and I didn't even want to eat it was like the last thing on my mind so am yeah it was lucky she hadn't eaten but yeah my so my body was like going into shock and I thinketh kind of fame I'm gonna be sick it was just like it was the most horrendous day and um but she was lucky she got into theatre they operated I think I've got another little picture let me see of when it was done um one second and i will show you yeah when it was all stitched back like this did you know little mouth it was like all under her lip so that night like we went back off like once we were done at the hospital visiting she was kept in so they could observe her because she'd been under general and we got to go home i'm not home back to the New Forest and I just didn't want to be there I there was luckily a spare room with a double bed and I slept in there with her cuddled up to her not that night I just couldn't sleep I just lay there looking at watching her and it really made me realize like how fragile our little ones are um and for the day since then I've just wanted to sleep I have felt a bit down and and I started to getting all panicky law cuz I'm on my meds isn't my mental health and by looked it up because I started thinking oh my god is this post traumatic stress disorder because i'm replaying everything in my head see my little girl that and it's just I just I can't bear it but I'm still replaying it even though I hate doing out I can't help but do it but I looked up and apparently it's not this is normal how I am feeling so which is good so what I'm doing at the moment I'm just trying to talk lots about it try not to be too predictable i doesn't want to wrap her in cotton wool now um like she was booked to go for like a day in summer school at the nursery with her brothers and I was like do you want to go and I was like really hoping she'd say no so I have an excuse that she could stay here and would just sit and so from what films together but she did want to go which is a good thing and I let her go because I know she's just down the road and I've told them if she needs me I will be there I will collect her and I keep phoning and checking and she's fine she's having a great time and so this was yesterday and today again she was booked to go not like Jordan to go she was like yes mummy I do so I let it go even though it's really hot and she's going to see her dad at the weekend and again I was like do you want to go and part of me like I think it's great that she sees her dad and it's not me that oh I don't want her to be with me but um part of me wanted her to be like our don't want to go and I blue ice okay you can stay with mommy because I don't want her to go because her dad lives two hours away and I feel like she's so far from me and I know she will have the best time when she's with her dad her and her brother always do and I know he will look after her so well and I really do know that but I still feel like she's so far away and i think you know maybe I should go and stay with my mom for the weekend because at least then my mum lives two hours waiting in her dad so I'm close to her and I know that's not healthy and I can't I can't go down that road I've got to be strong I've got to realize that accidents happen and I know they do like I said it's just been really really tough so that's why I've been a bit late replying to my messages I haven't really been on Twitter this week I've done anything and I haven't done my videos that I wanted to do but I will be back doing them next week definitely and I am sorry that they haven't been done that it is just a bit of a stressful time at the minute and I am just trying to get over this whole thing without it sending me mental basically and doing it in a healthy way without wrapping her in cotton wool like I want to do i'll never go back to that place though because it's just got horrid memories for me now so i won't go there even though it was amazing but now I just every time I think that I think look I hate it and but we've got the rest of the summer holidays to get through and I'm sure they will be fine if they don't jump from the burbs uh yeah I'm going to leave that there i thought i would let everyone know what's going on this week I know my poor mum it's her 60th birthday as well we'll always remember that half of the day my daughter was in hospital but I'm yeah i will definitely be back next week and i'll be back on it during the book for videos and answering messages and doing everything i should be doing alright guys take care bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.