Hi Guys, sorry it has been over a week since I uploaded a video. I’ve had a really busy week as I will explain in the video. Also – I will be doing Q+A videos which I mention at the end of this video!

Transcript:
hi my beautiful beautiful people how are
you i'm really sorry i haven't done a
video this week it's actually been over
a week since I've done one and which is
quite a long time because i like to do
them weekly but i have had quite a good
reason basically last week i uploaded my
videos on friday and not this friday the
friday before and then i went way to my
moms so i couldn't do any videos then
and i was planning on doing it monday
and my kids got a sickness bug and i had
been all throwing up all night and I was
literally running from one to the other
to the other I didn't feel great myself
but luckily I didn't come down with the
bug and the school has like a 48-hour
rule from when it starts before they can
go back so they're not contagious I'm
going to spread their bug so I had the
kids with me all day Monday Tuesday and
Wednesday which was great and not
painful at all and yeah so basically I
couldn't do videos those days and then
whereas usually I do one on the Friday
well last week on the thursday and
friday i was on a course which i will
tell you about it was a life skills
course and I felt really guilty doing it
because I got this opportunity through
my mental health team to do this course
it's kind of an introduction to dbt and
I felt guilty because I know there's so
many people out there that are desperate
to get help and then there's me who's in
recovery who's doing well and I'm
getting to go on a course and get help
so I did feel guilty but the way I saw
it I was topping up my skills so
whatever I learnt there I can share with
you guys em when I went along like for
the assessment I actually said I said
all you're going to think I'm too well
and I can't
to air and they said no come along
because you can do a little talk to the
other girls they're basically about your
recovery so I did get to do that which
was really nice and it was just all
girls they're actually and all with
borderline personality disorder
borderline traits and they were so nice
it was really really nice to see them
and talk to them and be able to tell
them look I was in that dark horrible
place and I'm all right now I've like so
you won't always be like that um so yeah
I did the course I'm not going to go
into too much detail now I will possibly
do a video on it the only thing about
the course it was fantastic and the two
women that took care like we were
amazing but it's literally they went
through motion regulation interpersonal
effectiveness and emotion regulation
commission regulation distress tolerance
anyway they did all that mindfulness but
it was in two days and there's literally
so much information and I was very aware
because I I'm kind of in the position
I've done it so I knew what was gonna be
said and I kind I know the skills but I
did think like at the end we had to
write what you thought about it and I
kind of just felt like it might have
been better just for two days just to
focus on emotion regulation or just on
distress tolerance and because I don't
think everyone could have taken that
amount of information and I couldn't
have taken that amount of information in
and it's such a shame because the skills
that were being taught are amazing and
the women that taught it were amazing
but obviously they've only got set two
days and they've got cram it in and it's
just a shame that they couldn't like
they can't get funding to have it either
slightly longer done over a week say
because I think people would find it far
more beneficial what else happened last
week I had an appointment with my
psychiatrist
drop my microphone sorry um yeah I had
an equivalent psychiatrist to see how
I'm doing and my mental health and I
kind of said to him I said I am feeling
a slight dip at the moment but I do
think it's partly to do with the shorter
days waking up in its dark and just I
mentioned before like that seasonal
affective disorder sad and I do feel it
affect me and I am not particularly
really down i'm not getting suicidal
it's nothing that severe but i'm
noticing a slight drop in my motivation
I can't be bothered to do as much as I
usually do having said that last week
when the kids were off to school I
couldn't do my videos obviously because
my daughter it feels like if I get the
camera I want to be famous I want to be
a little videos all right well it
wouldn't make you famous anyway and
you're not playing in my videos what's
your seven um but yeah she wants to be
in it and whenever I get the laptop out
there they're on me wanted to press
buttons and do stuff and say show me
your videos mommy to me or videos I'm
like no so I just didn't get the laptop
how that thus I could not reply to
people either which I I am a week behind
in doing I am trying to catch up
actually last night I think I got 25
days behind so that would probably be
six today so I'll be back on it anyway
but I'm yeah so I couldn't do the videos
I couldn't get the laptop out so I was
like right I am literally stuck at home
with my children I have to do something
proactive I can't just sit here and feel
like I've wasted a week so I literally I
started having a clear out you know when
you pull everything out the cupboards
and throw stuff away and I was like
really ruthless if there whereas usually
I'd like hold on to things I was like no
Go Go Go good okay
I've got rid of bin bags on the first
day I got rid of six bin bags of stuff
then I took the kids room all under the
beds all their cupboards on top of the
cupboards massive clear out I did my
house tool flat tool for you guys the
other week and you know I had all my
dvds I've got rid of all my dvds I
haven't got rid of them I put them in
bin bags and gave them to mom that's it
can you keep holding them till I've got
space and and just start getting things
ready for when I do move because I do
need to move because for kids in here is
not practical really and I have said
that before and we found somewhere today
that is bigger it is in need of work it
needs modernizing its very seventies but
it's got space the kids can run around
and it's livable and that that is what
is important doing up pain and stuff we
can do that over time you know it's no
biggie I don't need it to be perfect but
it's having that space that the kids can
just run and not be under my feet
basically so yeah that happened what
else has been going on for me when at my
school today my son says the funniest
things actually last night was it all
the other night we were talking we read
I read my kids every night usually my
son likes books on dinosaurs my daughter
likes books on space in the universe and
my youngest lights Peppa Pig but um yeah
my son he'd brought home a library book
and it was all about animals and insects
or whatever and we're reading and
there's something about guinea pigs and
um he was saying you don't like guinea
pigs do you mummy love that don't know I
don't know if I've ever said that was
like oh don't I he said no because they
read smelly and I went oh okay yeah yeah
I suppose deal and then he said to
doesn't smell as bad as a guinea pig
does she
now toot is my mom toot is I think it
comes from the Hawaiian word to to
possibly which is Hawaiian for retina
and when when I was pregnant with Amelia
my mom decided she didn't let me call
granny or grandma she wanted to be
something a bit funky and yeah to start
with she came up with the name cookie oh
no and then she came up with the name to
th e uh it's stuck all my kids call or
two they only know her as to all my
mom's friends know her as to all the
teachers of the schools no he was due so
yeah when I say to that's who my son is
talking about and yeah he has to doesn't
smell as bad as guinea pig she really
made me laugh because it's almost saying
she does smell but not quite as bad as a
guinea pig my mum's lysate mean clean
and hygienic I would be really funny um
but today I dropped him at school and I
was saying to the teacher I like your
hair cuz I thought she'd done something
colored it or something and she said
I'll think you know I've just watched it
and she said did I tell you what kyun
said the other day and I was like no and
she said I he um she had her hair curly
her hair is naturally curly she usually
stranger and I remember the day because
I said all your hair looks nice curly
she said I didn't have time to
straighten it and today she said did I
tell you what kin said the other day you
know the day my hair was curly I was
like yeah do you know that they she said
King came up to me and said this is her
name um did you not have much time this
morning because your hair so messy
mustn't brushed it also my little boy
full of compliments um yeah so I found
that quite for me I love what kids come
out with some funny things I had a
really hard weekend with my daughter she
was so mouthy to me so mouthy like she's
seven
and it was like having a teenager and
I've basically band sweetie day I band
chocolates I've and treats and I'm
sticking to it because she can't get
away we're talking to me like that she
was just really outright rude really
rude and I didn't scream and I didn't
shout but i SAT very quietly and I
thought I'm just not gonna talk to her
right now because if I talk to her I'm
gonna go freaking mental and so I kind
of stayed away till I write what you
gonna do and I took all her stuff out
her schoolbag her like nice rocks that
with pink stars on it and I put it in
and her old baby school back and I said
this is the bag you take to school on
Monday and she was horrified obviously i
wouldn't make her do that because I'd be
worried to get bullied but the threat in
itself she was good as gold for the rest
of the weekend and so I haven't really
heard a peep out her so I think there's
a delivery van and I'm do a delivery my
mum has sent a keyboard for my daughter
haha because she's doing piano lessons
so yeah well that's what's been going on
for me busy busy busy no motivation but
I was a bit motivated because I started
having a massive clear out but honestly
yesterday my legs were like jelly to a
point like oh yeah I felt like I've done
a massive workout and I couldn't get
video done because I literally I do the
dishes and then I've come and go I need
to sit down I'll do the hoovering I need
to sit down I need to mop the floor I
need to sit down and then my son had a
friend over last night which was fine
because his friends really sweet and it
was great they had fun but I was so
tired but yeah I'm really happy to be
back um I'm waiting for my buzzer to go
in case that's a delivery man anywho
ever so quickly someone asked me would I
do a question-and-answer think video I
don't know if it's on me or in Gen
but I thought they said unless that's
too personal for you so I'm guessing
it's about me so I was can say to you
ask me questions and I will do videos on
your questions they can be about me they
don't have to be about me if it's quite
like a question on quite big subject
I'll possibly do it as a video on that
subject and put it on my video request
list which I do have somewhere it's
literally an a4 page and half a full
page full of requests for videos and I
am going to be working through them it
will take me a few weeks but I will do
it and but yeah any questions feel free
to ask bad anything if I can't answer it
I will tell you this is the question but
I can't really answer it and I can't
imagine anything they don't being too
personal considering i did the BP DM sex
video and that's probably this as
personal as hotter gone and i didn't
want to do it and I did it so yeah far
away ask me with questions and i will
start doing this video's for you as well
guys but I hope you're all well and yeah
love you all bye guys
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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