Hi Guys, sorry it has been over a week since I uploaded a video. I’ve had a really busy week as I will explain in the video. Also – I will be doing Q+A videos which I mention at the end of this video!
hi my beautiful beautiful people how are you i'm really sorry i haven't done a video this week it's actually been over a week since I've done one and which is quite a long time because i like to do them weekly but i have had quite a good reason basically last week i uploaded my videos on friday and not this friday the friday before and then i went way to my moms so i couldn't do any videos then and i was planning on doing it monday and my kids got a sickness bug and i had been all throwing up all night and I was literally running from one to the other to the other I didn't feel great myself but luckily I didn't come down with the bug and the school has like a 48-hour rule from when it starts before they can go back so they're not contagious I'm going to spread their bug so I had the kids with me all day Monday Tuesday and Wednesday which was great and not painful at all and yeah so basically I couldn't do videos those days and then whereas usually I do one on the Friday well last week on the thursday and friday i was on a course which i will tell you about it was a life skills course and I felt really guilty doing it because I got this opportunity through my mental health team to do this course it's kind of an introduction to dbt and I felt guilty because I know there's so many people out there that are desperate to get help and then there's me who's in recovery who's doing well and I'm getting to go on a course and get help so I did feel guilty but the way I saw it I was topping up my skills so whatever I learnt there I can share with you guys em when I went along like for the assessment I actually said I said all you're going to think I'm too well and I can't to air and they said no come along because you can do a little talk to the other girls they're basically about your recovery so I did get to do that which was really nice and it was just all girls they're actually and all with borderline personality disorder borderline traits and they were so nice it was really really nice to see them and talk to them and be able to tell them look I was in that dark horrible place and I'm all right now I've like so you won't always be like that um so yeah I did the course I'm not going to go into too much detail now I will possibly do a video on it the only thing about the course it was fantastic and the two women that took care like we were amazing but it's literally they went through motion regulation interpersonal effectiveness and emotion regulation commission regulation distress tolerance anyway they did all that mindfulness but it was in two days and there's literally so much information and I was very aware because I I'm kind of in the position I've done it so I knew what was gonna be said and I kind I know the skills but I did think like at the end we had to write what you thought about it and I kind of just felt like it might have been better just for two days just to focus on emotion regulation or just on distress tolerance and because I don't think everyone could have taken that amount of information and I couldn't have taken that amount of information in and it's such a shame because the skills that were being taught are amazing and the women that taught it were amazing but obviously they've only got set two days and they've got cram it in and it's just a shame that they couldn't like they can't get funding to have it either slightly longer done over a week say because I think people would find it far more beneficial what else happened last week I had an appointment with my psychiatrist drop my microphone sorry um yeah I had an equivalent psychiatrist to see how I'm doing and my mental health and I kind of said to him I said I am feeling a slight dip at the moment but I do think it's partly to do with the shorter days waking up in its dark and just I mentioned before like that seasonal affective disorder sad and I do feel it affect me and I am not particularly really down i'm not getting suicidal it's nothing that severe but i'm noticing a slight drop in my motivation I can't be bothered to do as much as I usually do having said that last week when the kids were off to school I couldn't do my videos obviously because my daughter it feels like if I get the camera I want to be famous I want to be a little videos all right well it wouldn't make you famous anyway and you're not playing in my videos what's your seven um but yeah she wants to be in it and whenever I get the laptop out there they're on me wanted to press buttons and do stuff and say show me your videos mommy to me or videos I'm like no so I just didn't get the laptop how that thus I could not reply to people either which I I am a week behind in doing I am trying to catch up actually last night I think I got 25 days behind so that would probably be six today so I'll be back on it anyway but I'm yeah so I couldn't do the videos I couldn't get the laptop out so I was like right I am literally stuck at home with my children I have to do something proactive I can't just sit here and feel like I've wasted a week so I literally I started having a clear out you know when you pull everything out the cupboards and throw stuff away and I was like really ruthless if there whereas usually I'd like hold on to things I was like no Go Go Go good okay I've got rid of bin bags on the first day I got rid of six bin bags of stuff then I took the kids room all under the beds all their cupboards on top of the cupboards massive clear out I did my house tool flat tool for you guys the other week and you know I had all my dvds I've got rid of all my dvds I haven't got rid of them I put them in bin bags and gave them to mom that's it can you keep holding them till I've got space and and just start getting things ready for when I do move because I do need to move because for kids in here is not practical really and I have said that before and we found somewhere today that is bigger it is in need of work it needs modernizing its very seventies but it's got space the kids can run around and it's livable and that that is what is important doing up pain and stuff we can do that over time you know it's no biggie I don't need it to be perfect but it's having that space that the kids can just run and not be under my feet basically so yeah that happened what else has been going on for me when at my school today my son says the funniest things actually last night was it all the other night we were talking we read I read my kids every night usually my son likes books on dinosaurs my daughter likes books on space in the universe and my youngest lights Peppa Pig but um yeah my son he'd brought home a library book and it was all about animals and insects or whatever and we're reading and there's something about guinea pigs and um he was saying you don't like guinea pigs do you mummy love that don't know I don't know if I've ever said that was like oh don't I he said no because they read smelly and I went oh okay yeah yeah I suppose deal and then he said to doesn't smell as bad as a guinea pig does she now toot is my mom toot is I think it comes from the Hawaiian word to to possibly which is Hawaiian for retina and when when I was pregnant with Amelia my mom decided she didn't let me call granny or grandma she wanted to be something a bit funky and yeah to start with she came up with the name cookie oh no and then she came up with the name to th e uh it's stuck all my kids call or two they only know her as to all my mom's friends know her as to all the teachers of the schools no he was due so yeah when I say to that's who my son is talking about and yeah he has to doesn't smell as bad as guinea pig she really made me laugh because it's almost saying she does smell but not quite as bad as a guinea pig my mum's lysate mean clean and hygienic I would be really funny um but today I dropped him at school and I was saying to the teacher I like your hair cuz I thought she'd done something colored it or something and she said I'll think you know I've just watched it and she said did I tell you what kyun said the other day and I was like no and she said I he um she had her hair curly her hair is naturally curly she usually stranger and I remember the day because I said all your hair looks nice curly she said I didn't have time to straighten it and today she said did I tell you what kin said the other day you know the day my hair was curly I was like yeah do you know that they she said King came up to me and said this is her name um did you not have much time this morning because your hair so messy mustn't brushed it also my little boy full of compliments um yeah so I found that quite for me I love what kids come out with some funny things I had a really hard weekend with my daughter she was so mouthy to me so mouthy like she's seven and it was like having a teenager and I've basically band sweetie day I band chocolates I've and treats and I'm sticking to it because she can't get away we're talking to me like that she was just really outright rude really rude and I didn't scream and I didn't shout but i SAT very quietly and I thought I'm just not gonna talk to her right now because if I talk to her I'm gonna go freaking mental and so I kind of stayed away till I write what you gonna do and I took all her stuff out her schoolbag her like nice rocks that with pink stars on it and I put it in and her old baby school back and I said this is the bag you take to school on Monday and she was horrified obviously i wouldn't make her do that because I'd be worried to get bullied but the threat in itself she was good as gold for the rest of the weekend and so I haven't really heard a peep out her so I think there's a delivery van and I'm do a delivery my mum has sent a keyboard for my daughter haha because she's doing piano lessons so yeah well that's what's been going on for me busy busy busy no motivation but I was a bit motivated because I started having a massive clear out but honestly yesterday my legs were like jelly to a point like oh yeah I felt like I've done a massive workout and I couldn't get video done because I literally I do the dishes and then I've come and go I need to sit down I'll do the hoovering I need to sit down I need to mop the floor I need to sit down and then my son had a friend over last night which was fine because his friends really sweet and it was great they had fun but I was so tired but yeah I'm really happy to be back um I'm waiting for my buzzer to go in case that's a delivery man anywho ever so quickly someone asked me would I do a question-and-answer think video I don't know if it's on me or in Gen but I thought they said unless that's too personal for you so I'm guessing it's about me so I was can say to you ask me questions and I will do videos on your questions they can be about me they don't have to be about me if it's quite like a question on quite big subject I'll possibly do it as a video on that subject and put it on my video request list which I do have somewhere it's literally an a4 page and half a full page full of requests for videos and I am going to be working through them it will take me a few weeks but I will do it and but yeah any questions feel free to ask bad anything if I can't answer it I will tell you this is the question but I can't really answer it and I can't imagine anything they don't being too personal considering i did the BP DM sex video and that's probably this as personal as hotter gone and i didn't want to do it and I did it so yeah far away ask me with questions and i will start doing this video's for you as well guys but I hope you're all well and yeah love you all bye guys
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.