[Music]
hi guys I'm sorry I didn't do a video
last week I kind of had a week from hell
basically and my two year old Ethan
wasn't well and got really high
temperature he was over 40 and one night
I heard him cry and I said to Darren my
partner I just had Ethan can you go and
check on him because I was breastfeeding
baby so he's gone upstairs and he came
down and his face was just like peleas
like I think we need to phone the
doctors and I was like why and he said
you need to see his tongue and I looked
and it just looked like the whole tongue
swollen it looked like a massive like
bliss day was like white is clear I
can't explain it but literally my heart
was going my legs went to jelly I
thought I was going to faint because
clearly I'm not good in these situations
when my little ones are hurt I was the
same when my daughter hurt her lip and
yeah I thought I'm very sick I'm sick
and uh tells like you need to get into
A&E now so he got in um he got him ready
luckily he took him because I had to
stay at home because baby needs a breast
feeding which actually I was really
grateful for because I don't think I'd
have been too good on my own I was just
freaked out but obviously I stayed in
contact on the phone and he got see my
doctor accident and emergency and the
doctor basically said his bits tongue so
no it can't be he needs to be seen again
it can't be a by the size of his tongue
but yeah apparently here best hung the
next day I took care actually Darren
took him in the morning when I did the
school i'm up to the doctor and again
the drop said yeah he's been his tongue
and what they think might happen he was
poorly he had a virus
and so he had a high temperature and
they said log kids have like these
tremors like convulsing in the night now
I did know that you its importance
temperature down because of this I
didn't realize actually well apparently
this doctor said it's quite common
unless he just last Darren saying that
to me so I didn't panic apparently they
think he had little tremor in and I and
his bit to his tongue and literally it
was like the top priority and the bottom
row teeth gone down so it was all split
underneath but you couldn't even see it
was just such a mess and the poor boy he
had a temperature still of over 40 I was
struggling to get any medicine down him
because obviously his mouth was in agony
he didn't want to drink he didn't want
any food he didn't eat for like over
four days and like we were having to try
and force some water down him because we
don't want him to dehydrate but he
literally he was very clingy he has not
left my side I have had to carry him
everywhere whilst carrying the baby so
he didn't go to nursery every night he
has been up screaming in agony because
of his porthole he has come back to
nursery today I am still tired because I
am up a lot in the night and it doesn't
help because we're decorating my
daughter's bedroom so she's in with the
boys they put three beds in the boys
room and Easons obviously been waking
crying and I'm awoken at like three in
the morning by my daughter stood at the
end of my bed go and get your son out of
my room now I have school in the morning
half asleep I her go and get him bring
him in with me and so yes some of the
days the kids were late for school and
I'm usually so good with the timekeeping
getting installed on time but
hasn't happened so obviously I haven't
been able to do a video and i said i bit
one every week but I up here now and I
don't know if I'm having a complete
mental block but I was like I'm gonna do
a video what will I do a video one and I
just couldn't think and what to do a
video on today nice i can't do another
catch up but then I thought well it is a
weekly hatch up and so i'm kinda letting
you know what's going on um but yeah i'm
literally I've got a mental block I'm
kind of thinking about doing one talking
about borderline personality disorder
and anger basically and my anger issues
that were with me for years and yeah
because I was just such an angry person
I could we go from calm to angry like so
quickly and then just back to calm again
but I'm not going to do it right now
because I have got the school run soon
so you have any ideas on videos you'd
like me to do please give them to me
please please I'm having complete mental
block I yeah I just can't I just can't
think I know I need to carry on with
doing step videos and I will do them
hopefully soon hopefully very soon um
yeah honestly even now my mind's gone
blank well what do I say huh um my
little ones quite funny actually this is
completely off subject now
Amelia Daisy Amelia Daisy my
seven-year-old she loves holding little
Lottie baby and I bite oh say I be
really careful with her neck because you
don't want her neck to snap and they
really kinda listen to that and they're
very very careful and my five-year-old
qian is constantly going mimi because
that's what we call Amelia Mimi is how
are you are you supporting her neck
properly me me me me her heads moving
and all the baby's doing this going like
this moving looking around and kiens
gang her neck is going to snap her neck
is going to snap Mimi support her neck
heads moving heads moving and um it's
brilliant no I'm like she's allowed to
turn her head key and he's that but
she's damning it by her neck how would
you else would you turn it how I said
that was quite funny yesterday I had i
did a shop yesterday so i went to the
supermarket and i had eason in a trolley
because he wants me to carry him
everywhere and obviously that's a bit
difficult Amelia pushed the pram and key
and just ran alongside me playing with
toys or and just generally being here so
that was quite a mission me and my four
children it's the first time we've all
done a weekly shop together it was
actually it was really okay they didn't
play me up Mimi so funny when she pushes
the pram she does this different wall
place she walks with her head up like
I'm a big girl and I've got a pram and
it's really sweet to see and actually
they went to their dads immediately came
into their dads this weekend and I
realized Saturday night that I had loads
of pictures and videos on my phone that
I haven't paid her selfies of the kids
obviously they'd like taking their
pictures and there was a video and i'm
just going to deleting i say it keep
some but a lot of them are just like
hundred pictures of them exactly the
same so seen a video and I'm like okay
delete it until I realized it's 13
minutes long I thought what if they fit
so I press play and it was brilliant it
was Amelia vlogging basically doing what
I do and when I'm sometimes like doing
my videos it would come on and they just
hear the beginning me go hi guys so her
video stuff hi guys and yeah she
proceeded to tell them about her piano
playing and she gave her brother some
abuse who was in the background but it
was hilarious it was so funny shooting
that Kim was doing something in the
background so she first worship their
teeth to the camera then she's going to
the camera and it was just brilliant so
when I saw her last night like she is
home and I was like your video was so
funny I said you'd make fortune on
youtube like just just in passing that's
all I said I go on YouTube mommy I want
my own channel I want loads of followers
driver and I was like good names I don't
know you know you're young she's seven
my friends have their own channel all my
friends go on it there are children that
log in my school that are in the year
above me and you don't let me get onto
YouTube um so I was like do you know
what I'll think that it will look into a
bit at the end of the day your dad would
have to know and I can't see is out
saying yes so he got home is can we
phone daddy can we phone daddy so I was
like right you can find you asked him
and he said you can put that one video
on but I don't want you having a channel
which is fair enough and she was crying
absolutely devastated and she said mommy
said it's okay why put me in X then he
thinks yeah your mum thinks this all huh
wait and it just wasn't like that and
actually the more i think about it
because I'd said I think there's a
youtube for kids but the more i think
about it and
I think I don't want her doing that
there's no horrible people out there
unfortunately that's not we meet being
negative but you hear about the trolls
and I don't want anyone trolling my
daughter calling him names or saying
anything she's only young and I think it
could really affect her also the way she
reacted last night going so mental and
crying and when I was like look memes
maybe this isn't a good eye I hate you
um yeah I just thought this isn't good
because she was like I doesn't want to
have loads of followers and I thought
you know if she starts doing this it's
going to take over her life like it
won't just be a bit of fun she will not
be caring about her schoolwork and it
will all be about her YouTube channel so
last night when she was in bed i kind of
said look memes oh I call him in scissor
I was like I just I'm worried because
once it's out there anyone in the world
can see and it's our job to protect you
I said why don't you still do your
videos what's the point if no one can
see them um and I was like no let me
finish and I said do all your videos and
then in the summer when you're with
Grandpa we can get them put onto a desk
so you've like made a little film with
it and maybe it next Christmas that's
what will give out of the family and
close friends as presents so then she
was like oh my god be on DVD and she was
happy with that she went to bed with a
smile on her face I said that was a good
sorted and then yes she doesn't have to
be online not that look so there are
children that are online and that's fine
but it is my job to protect her and I
mean if her brother calls their names
and it's the end of the world she's
devastated let alone if strangers did it
and I don't I don't want her to be her
so okay oh god I've been chatting for 13
minutes exactly 13 0 to 3 i'm gonna go
cuz i got school run soon but i am going
to hopefully do another video tomorrow
because the kids are at school i'm a
little eason is nursery so is that baby
about to wake up um so yeah I will be
back tomorrow like I said if you have
any inspiration for me right this way
cuz I have nothing it's terrible is no
just my mind is not working at the
moment so busy just trying to get into a
routine and doom housework and have a
bowl off and just do normal things that
used to be quite easy that and how not
so easy but yeah everything's falling
into place it will be fine I will be
back tomorrow if not tomorrow i will do
a video wednesday so there will be
definitely a video coming out this week
and i will try and get my little
thinking hat on but i love you all loads
not and i hope you are all well bye guys