I have come off some of my meds, I’ve had poo on my finger and I don’t get to ‘sexy-dance’ any more!

Transcript:
hi guys welcome to my weekly catch up I
haven't done a weekly catch up in a
while because I just haven't had
anything interesting to say life's been
quite boring I last time I think I speak
to you are doing my son's birthday party
that's all over and now my little boy
tends to and my daughter turns seven in
less than two weeks so I have two
parties on the same day one in the
morning one in the afternoon and have
done nothing nothing I haven't ordered
any food I haven't signed on the party
bag it's just unorganized I'm so
unorganized I keep saying I will do it
tomorrow really I've really got to do it
tomorrow oh so what has been going on
for me I have come off some of my
medication which I've been really scared
about because I've been on this
medication for a long long long time and
whenever I've tried to come off it
before it haven't worked out so good at
so I'm really hesitant but like my
doctor said it's been a long time since
I last tried to come off it and I've
been quite stable mentally ah so maybe
fingers crossed I won't notice a
difference now it's been two weeks since
I came off it and I'm alright so I'm
really hoping that'll carry on to be
okay um and it's not a disaster like it
used to be every time I came off it
maybe I just don't need that medication
anymore be amazing and whatsoever what
else has been going on my daughter have
a summer fete and she's doing a street
dance in it last Friday and she told me
mummy I'm really really good I'm just a
few seconds behind everyone else and I
just thought oh he's like me
you see mummys daughter um but it was so
good it was really really good am and it
was like left there about half seven no
70 I think it finished but we base it
we're in the car about half seven and
driving out and I can see people walking
girls and little skirts and heels go a
cult as I wow because those who don't
know me I am straight after school run I
come home that's where i stay until the
next morning for the next school run I
don't get out ever and so this was a
real novelty seeing people coming out
having fun looking nice would mean sexy
I like how you do fast huh because I
don't get to do that anymore um no my
life is tidying up after my kids the
other day I checked my baby's nappy I
don't know how to put my hand in to have
a look Oh yard hmm I got blue on my
finger uh I just thought oh my god this
is his sexy as my life gets uncovered
Ajit's the rude and not like all these
lovely people are at Friday night out
and about and but I did used to but I'm
about and I did used to have sexy days
and it brought me right back to a time I
was 18 I had no children and I had a
boyfriend and we were going to go out
for the night and stay in a hotel so I
hadn't planned in my head and I went out
and I bought some sexy underwear now
what I am NOT saying is that sexy
underwear that I bought I got in TK Maxx
less than a fiver and but I didn't tell
the boyfriend that I was just teasing
him all day got some new underwear
designer can't wait to show you really
can't with you later my new underwear um
no mention of TK Maxx no mention of
fiber em to ya we went help not drinking
and it's all fun we were at the hotel
and I was like to do a dance because
we're gonna dance to set him down and
fed you sit there and you must remember
i have been drinking quite a lot and i
thought i was like doing nice slow dance
what I didn't realize is cuz I've been
drinking it was probably more like ah
have I carried on anyway and he was SAT
there watching didn't really have a
choice um just do my dance like my
clothes over there it's sexy ah and I
don't exactly how it happened but my
high heel got caught in my pants and I
fell well I tripped unpopped um but as I
hoped my ankle when I fell actually
really hurt my ankle um and so I hit the
floor like a sack of shit in my pants
now I didn't realize to after it was the
next morning actually that I still had
my big floppy for I found label hanging
up the back um but luckily i didn't have
to get mortified with that there because
I was already mortifying myself by being
heap on the floor says on the floor and
I'm looking at and he's on the bed and
her on floor we make eye contact I'm
looking at each other and I pretend to
faint now he knew I pretended to faint I
knew I pretended to faint if it had been
any kind of like realistic I would have
done it on the way down as I realized I
was falling harder gone nor fallen eye
contact
but I did it anyway and I kept my eyes
sharp and I was very aware that there
was a silence in the room so he wasn't
doing anything he wasn't getting up to
check on me he was still SAT there
possibly staring maybe in shock ah and I
just stayed there for a few minutes and
then I had to like come round and I had
to kind of start ups actually what
happened happened I don't think he said
what happened he I don't think he talked
but i'm pretty sure i went to bed soon
after that there was no sexiness after
that um yeah i just think i just went
straight to bed still styling out all my
head because I had to because I didn't
want him to think I'd fall and like an
idiot and then pretended to faint even
though he I think he knew that and and
if not if he ever watches this video no
he does so yes so anyway I don't have
sexy days like that anymore ah that's
okay my life has just taken a slightly
different slightly unsexy turn but
that's all good um I am Oh going to be
catching the kids not too long now I've
got to go off and see my friend in
hospital who is due to have baby anytime
soon we thought it was coming yesterday
and she wants me with their her at the
birth so I was there but turned out
she's just done well and it was bringing
on fake contractions um but I'm going to
go up and see her now and possibly
wednesday i'm going to do my step six
and seven steps out of the 12 steps and
I'm also aware that I've kind of put the
DBT side down for it because i was doing
emotional regulation and then someone
asked me to do 12 steps so i picked up
the 12 steps again put down the DBT so i
do need to get on Matt and I will but if
anyone has any questions and comments
feel free to miss
to me and yeah if you've got any ideas
of a video that you think that might
help you again message me and if I think
I can do it I'll do it and if I don't I
don't it doesn't hurt to ask as it guys
um yeah that's enough to war hi
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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