Where am I from? What tattoos do I have? How did I take care of my kids when I was really low?

oh hi today I'm going to do Kristin and
answer personal I have three questions
here and they are all from the same
person and runner and the Rama and the
runner I'm probably saying it wrong but
i will read the questions first of all
and rana asked me where am i from how
I'm such a mix i have always grown up in
England I was born here grown up here so
I'm not British but i don't think i
actually have any English blood that I
know hoof in me right so my dad is Irish
and all his family going all the way
back just Irish from the south of
Ireland error they live in like the
dublin area my mom this is where a bit
the mix comes in my mum's mum was French
and Scottish so we've got now Ireland
France Scotland and my mum's dad this is
where the real mix comes in was Welsh
German Indian Native American is that it
I think and to yes so I'm a mix of all
those things half Irish and a little bit
of everything else so yeah that's where
I'm from I get asked if I'm Chinese I
get asked if I'm from motor I get asked
if I'm from South America a gallis all
sorts of things no one ever knows but
now you know right her next question she
said she knows his tattoos on my wrists
yes this one says Amelia Daisy and it's
got little daisies that is my daughter
uh oh I don't know if you can see it can
you see like basically I've got kyun
here and if you come around eason
they're both aarush names kyun is k well
ke yaa nice photo eason e a s0n and
they're both Irish names for my boys
everyone always says Ethan not know
Ethan Eason eh oh n and stars my boys I
do have other tattoos i have got a rose
on my back that I got done i think when
i was 15 in my school break without my
mum knowing we went out for lunch and we
snuck down to a tattooist and I got it
done on my back and when my mum saw her
I told her it was temporary it was like
six months on and she believed that for
years and i have my favorite tattoo I've
got like going kinda down my ankle and
down my foot the front of my foot and
it's literally just lots of quotes if
you were on my Instagram I don't know
I've got picture I think of myself satin
beat or my legs and you'll see my tattoo
on my foot and it's all quotes from like
the power but I Rhonda Byrne or the
secret like imagination is the key to
creation and stuff like like the more
sciency kind of things that i like and i
love that tattoo my worst tattoo is my
ex-husband's name across my back like
this and i just can't afford to get it
lays it off just yet a big mistake but
hey ho you know these things happen at
least it's on my back and I don't have
to see it all the time so yes that is my
tattoos I I did actually have another
ex's tattoo named on my ankle once and I
have had that lays it off luckily it was
a really small light full letter ferred
name so it was easy to get rid of and I
had only been with him a week and I was
drunk and we like yeah be so cool let's
his name's doll and yeah we broke up a
week later so you couldn't even call him
an ex so your thought I'd learnt my
lesson but hey ho I didn't write um and
and drona asked me how did I take care
of my kids when I was that low uh to be
honest I didn't I really did not I
couldn't know I was trying to but i
remember when i was at my lowest point
now I said my lowest point it was
actually because of the addiction and
the alcoholism because the borderline
personality was really really bad before
they were even born and I had some
pretty bad times then and it wasn't
great after and but i think the
addiction really took over and i just
flung myself into just drinking and
using um yeah I I didn't look after them
very well really i thought i did because
i thought will I walk down to the park
with them and they have fun but to do
that I was drunk because I didn't I I
would have stayed in i had a gruff OB I
didn't want to leave the house by
getting drunk I gave me confidence so I
would take them down the park so i
thought i was a great mom because my
kids got to go to the park every day and
they got to the point i couldn't even
cook like dinner um i would put Nutella
know like the chocolate spread on toast
or do a sandwich like that or mcdonalds
and i was always like i'm not giving my
kids McDonald's it's junk food and when
my daughter was born everything I home
cooked everything she never had a jar of
food everything was home cooked
everything was organic and I went from
like that to the complete opposite just
have some chips some chicken nuggets you
know like because my addiction
completely took over so i used to think
i was great one because
still read to my kids every night I
would always make a point they would
still have a story every night bar I
never enjoyed doing it I'd sit there all
I could think of is I want to do another
line of cocaine or I just want to drink
why won't the go to sleep I uh and it
was horrid because the addiction
completely controlled me and I mean I
adore my children but back then it was
like no one got a look-in when it came
to the addiction that that was my number
one love it was really sad I was really
really lucky in the fact that i have my
mom who really supported me and really
look after my kids things were getting
bad I remember my ex-husband coming home
and I was obviously supposed to be
looking after the kids and I just
falling asleep on the floor and he kinda
came home and I told my mom was like I
was asleep and she was like you can't do
this you you got to come and live with
me so I moved out at the family hello
much of the kids and my mum kind of put
a work on hold and she'd get up every
morning and make them scrambled eggs and
toast and good healthy breakfast and do
their lunch and just basically she she
looked after my kids because I didn't
and I can't lie and say oh I struggled
through it was hard but I looked off
them I thought I was looking after them
of course I did but uh uh I wasn't I
wasn't i wasn't being the best mom I
could be so yeah I stayed with my mom
and in the end I was like I need help
because even when I was there or so
secretly drinking and using and in the
end I was like I put my hands up it was
the first time I was just like I can't
stop I always thought all they was in
control of the addiction believe it or
not I still thought I had control and it
was a choice and one day I just realized
it was completely out of my control I
could not stop and I kind of put my
hands up and I asked for help and it was
then that I got into rehab and my story
is kind of gone from there really um
McKidd stayed with my mom she looked
after them when I go out they still stay
door with I found out I was pregnant
with my third and my mum's looked after
my children for me so I could get
settled because I was moving to a
completely new area two hours away and
eventually they did come back to live
with me I mean I am so lucky that I
didn't lose them and they weren't given
up for adoption because i had my mom who
stepped in and took my children and
looked after them for me and I am so
grateful be forever grateful for that
eventually obviously they came back and
it was a struggle to start with all
right I wasn't drinking I wasn't using
but the borderline personality traits
were coming back at this point because I
was new in recovery really so it was a
struggle but I kind of kept things in
the day sometimes I just have to think
right you just have to do the lunch it's
not that big deal and I started
realizing how important a routine was
and so I started putting a routine in
place and I mean I'm a completely
different person now to that person a
few years ago completely earphone and
and I can be the month at I always
wanted to be today and irie still read
to all my children every night without
fail and i love it i never once think I
worthless Lee it's like I get so into it
I just love it so yeah is that that was
all the questions so i'll leave it there
guys bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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