Where am I from? What tattoos do I have? How did I take care of my kids when I was really low?
oh hi today I'm going to do Kristin and answer personal I have three questions here and they are all from the same person and runner and the Rama and the runner I'm probably saying it wrong but i will read the questions first of all and rana asked me where am i from how I'm such a mix i have always grown up in England I was born here grown up here so I'm not British but i don't think i actually have any English blood that I know hoof in me right so my dad is Irish and all his family going all the way back just Irish from the south of Ireland error they live in like the dublin area my mom this is where a bit the mix comes in my mum's mum was French and Scottish so we've got now Ireland France Scotland and my mum's dad this is where the real mix comes in was Welsh German Indian Native American is that it I think and to yes so I'm a mix of all those things half Irish and a little bit of everything else so yeah that's where I'm from I get asked if I'm Chinese I get asked if I'm from motor I get asked if I'm from South America a gallis all sorts of things no one ever knows but now you know right her next question she said she knows his tattoos on my wrists yes this one says Amelia Daisy and it's got little daisies that is my daughter these uh oh I don't know if you can see it can you see like basically I've got kyun here and if you come around eason they're both aarush names kyun is k well ke yaa nice photo eason e a s0n and they're both Irish names for my boys everyone always says Ethan not know Ethan Eason eh oh n and stars my boys I do have other tattoos i have got a rose on my back that I got done i think when i was 15 in my school break without my mum knowing we went out for lunch and we snuck down to a tattooist and I got it done on my back and when my mum saw her I told her it was temporary it was like six months on and she believed that for years and i have my favorite tattoo I've got like going kinda down my ankle and down my foot the front of my foot and it's literally just lots of quotes if you were on my Instagram I don't know I've got picture I think of myself satin beat or my legs and you'll see my tattoo on my foot and it's all quotes from like the power but I Rhonda Byrne or the secret like imagination is the key to creation and stuff like like the more sciency kind of things that i like and i love that tattoo my worst tattoo is my ex-husband's name across my back like this and i just can't afford to get it lays it off just yet a big mistake but hey ho you know these things happen at least it's on my back and I don't have to see it all the time so yes that is my tattoos I I did actually have another ex's tattoo named on my ankle once and I have had that lays it off luckily it was a really small light full letter ferred name so it was easy to get rid of and I had only been with him a week and I was drunk and we like yeah be so cool let's get his name's doll and yeah we broke up a week later so you couldn't even call him an ex so your thought I'd learnt my lesson but hey ho I didn't write um and and drona asked me how did I take care of my kids when I was that low uh to be honest I didn't I really did not I couldn't know I was trying to but i remember when i was at my lowest point now I said my lowest point it was actually because of the addiction and the alcoholism because the borderline personality was really really bad before they were even born and I had some pretty bad times then and it wasn't great after and but i think the addiction really took over and i just flung myself into just drinking and using um yeah I I didn't look after them very well really i thought i did because i thought will I walk down to the park with them and they have fun but to do that I was drunk because I didn't I I would have stayed in i had a gruff OB I didn't want to leave the house by getting drunk I gave me confidence so I would take them down the park so i thought i was a great mom because my kids got to go to the park every day and they got to the point i couldn't even cook like dinner um i would put Nutella know like the chocolate spread on toast or do a sandwich like that or mcdonalds and i was always like i'm not giving my kids McDonald's it's junk food and when my daughter was born everything I home cooked everything she never had a jar of food everything was home cooked everything was organic and I went from like that to the complete opposite just have some chips some chicken nuggets you know like because my addiction completely took over so i used to think i was great one because still read to my kids every night I would always make a point they would still have a story every night bar I never enjoyed doing it I'd sit there all I could think of is I want to do another line of cocaine or I just want to drink why won't the go to sleep I uh and it was horrid because the addiction completely controlled me and I mean I adore my children but back then it was like no one got a look-in when it came to the addiction that that was my number one love it was really sad I was really really lucky in the fact that i have my mom who really supported me and really look after my kids things were getting bad I remember my ex-husband coming home and I was obviously supposed to be looking after the kids and I just falling asleep on the floor and he kinda came home and I told my mom was like I was asleep and she was like you can't do this you you got to come and live with me so I moved out at the family hello much of the kids and my mum kind of put a work on hold and she'd get up every morning and make them scrambled eggs and toast and good healthy breakfast and do their lunch and just basically she she looked after my kids because I didn't and I can't lie and say oh I struggled through it was hard but I looked off them I thought I was looking after them of course I did but uh uh I wasn't I wasn't i wasn't being the best mom I could be so yeah I stayed with my mom and in the end I was like I need help because even when I was there or so secretly drinking and using and in the end I was like I put my hands up it was the first time I was just like I can't stop I always thought all they was in control of the addiction believe it or not I still thought I had control and it was a choice and one day I just realized it was completely out of my control I could not stop and I kind of put my hands up and I asked for help and it was then that I got into rehab and my story is kind of gone from there really um McKidd stayed with my mom she looked after them when I go out they still stay door with I found out I was pregnant with my third and my mum's looked after my children for me so I could get settled because I was moving to a completely new area two hours away and eventually they did come back to live with me I mean I am so lucky that I didn't lose them and they weren't given up for adoption because i had my mom who stepped in and took my children and looked after them for me and I am so grateful be forever grateful for that eventually obviously they came back and it was a struggle to start with all right I wasn't drinking I wasn't using but the borderline personality traits were coming back at this point because I was new in recovery really so it was a struggle but I kind of kept things in the day sometimes I just have to think right you just have to do the lunch it's not that big deal and I started realizing how important a routine was and so I started putting a routine in place and I mean I'm a completely different person now to that person a few years ago completely earphone and and I can be the month at I always wanted to be today and irie still read to all my children every night without fail and i love it i never once think I worthless Lee it's like I get so into it I just love it so yeah is that that was all the questions so i'll leave it there guys bye you
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.