hi my lovelies today I'm gonna do a
video request as you can see I have a
little guest Lottie see hi can you
believe she's six months now thank you
you big girl now if you love I have just
tried to do this video and she is
banging about making so much noise
yes I hoping she calms down she's just
hanging around right so I'm doing a
video request from Sarah hi Sarah
and Sarah messaged me to say that she'd
been in therapy for a year and she
started to notice that she's displaying
more please let me do this video she
starting to display more of the traits
of this disorder and she asked me have I
had these moments and how do I get it in
check yes I have had these moments but
before I talk about getting in check I'm
just gonna talk about my opinion on why
it happens and basically I think that
two things could be happening either we
are displaying more of the trays oh
we're not actually displaying more of
the traits we are just become more aware
obviously recovery and therapy it brings
us more self awareness and we started
noticing things more so it could be that
you have always displayed these but
before we just don't know
when we become self-aware all of a
sudden we start checking ourselves and
noticing things a lot more and I know
for me now I can I notice my traits all
over the place
but there was a time when I wouldn't
have been able to notice one I just was
completely unaware but the more
self-aware I can't became the further
into recovery I became the more I
started noticing the traits so it could
be that you're not displaying more you
are just noticing them and that is great
because in order for us to make changes
we need to notice what's going on for us
so if that's the case fantastic you are
on the right path the other thing it
could be in my opinion is you are
actually displaying
and my view and why this could be
happening is recovery doesn't happen
overnight
there are lots of different stages like
we don't just do it all at once we will
focus on our emotion regulation on ways
we can start regulating those emotions
other times we start focusing on
learning to cope with distressing
situations there are other times we
start learning about relationships and
interpersonal effectiveness
and the thing is when we're focusing on
one area so for example we are focusing
on regulating our emotions because all
our focus is on that area and we're
noticing that about ourselves and we're
doing what we're supposed to do we can
find the borderline will pop up in other
areas so it might be our relationships
it might pop up in that area
because that's not an area we're
actually focusing on at the moment
because the thing is the borderline
doesn't just go away it is still there
we are just in recovery even a year in
you're still new in recovery so the
borderline doesn't just go so it will
surface and pop up in other areas like
that is my view and I am I definitely
noticed that for me like for example
when I was doing interpersonal
effectiveness I started really focusing
on relationships and how I talk to
people and interacted with people and
communicated with people and that was
wonderful when I felt like I was getting
to grips with how I was doing well in it
but the borderline would come up in
other areas so I might find my mood was
all over the place because my emotions
were not being regulated because I was
focusing so much on one area they just
waddling just kind of shifted and went
to another area and if this is the case
and you are noticing more of the traits
and they are actually coming up the
traits are coming up it's not a bad
thing it is simply because you have
focus
on one area of your recovery but that's
part of recovery that is part of therapy
you have to give your all to one section
you can't just kind of do it all at once
it is focusing 100% on that section yes
the borderline might pop up in other
areas that's okay because it won't
always be like that because eventually
you'll move to another area and start
focusing on that and it's when you've
been in recovery a while you've been in
therapy a while that's when you can kind
of bring all your skills from all the
different areas together and really get
hold of the borderline I say at million
times it's not an overnight thing
sometimes we feel like we've taken a
step forward only to take three-bath
that does not mean you are still not on
the right path because you are you are
but I would say both scenarios are
perfectly normal
they are not something to be overly
concerned with like I've been in therapy
and now why are certain traits coming
out I think that is just part of
recovery we're not gonna we do go
through stages when we feel like you
know ah I've got a hold of this I'm
alright
only for a few weeks and months down the
line loads of different traits come up
and we are oh my god I haven't gotten
anywhere but you have you actually have
got somewhere this is part of recovery
so don't beat yourself up about it
don't think you're not getting recovery
because you are
and the fact that you all noticing the
traits the fact that you're noticing
them shows me that you are well on your
way to recovery because it is noticing
them I really are there was a time
honestly I really did not think I had
any of the trades at the way it was
everyone else and I I just didn't I did
not notice it in myself but Wow
self-awareness takes time Wow Wow
see hi look who's that on the camera I'm
going to get her out her chair now she
has only just got in it but she wants
out clearly she can't cruel yet but she
wants to get here there and everywhere
thank you if you do yes you do
I hope that helped a little bit and I
made a little bit of sense I'll be back
next week because I'm gonna put this
video out and Friday so not love you all
bye guys