Today I take a look at when someone with NPD gets in a relationship with someone with BPD.

hi my lovelies today I'm gonna talk
about when someone with narcissistic
personality disorder and someone with
borderline personality disorder gets in
a relationship together
and I thought I'd do this because this
happens quite a lot and I've been out
with narcissists before and as you know
I have BPD I'm actually over the next
few weeks considering exploring some of
the other cluster B personality is in a
bit more detail but a simple fact that
borderline personality disorder is
cluster B and we also have narcissism
histrionic Personality Disorder an
antisocial personality disorder and it's
really common for someone with one of
the personality disorders to take some
of the traits of the other personality
disorders now we might not tricking up
and tick enough the traits to get a
diagnosis of that but there's definitely
some kind of overlap with it like within
the cluster B's and I stopped thought
I'd start with this topic today about
the relationship between the BPD and npv
for the simple fact that like it happens
a lot and like I said I've been a
relationship with someone with NPD not
diagnosed but it's quite a dangerous
combination I think particularly if
children are involved we know that
having a parent with BPD that is not in
recovery but willing to accept they have
PPD it can be damaging to the child we
also know that if a child has a parent
with NPD it can be extremely damaging to
them so if you think of a child that
maybe has a mother with BPD and a father
with NPD or the other way around it's
really likely that that child is gonna
suffer the
this so first of all right we've got to
think why do these two personalities
seem to be drawn to each other and I
think there's a few reasons for this
first of all those of us with BPD we're
desperate for love we just want to be
loved and we won't be in a relationship
with someone and we want to feel
protected and some with NPD conceit
offer us all that they seem strong and
confident but they are looking for very
different things in the relationship
whereas the person would be PD is
looking for love the person with NPD is
looking to have their self-esteem
boosted they because believe it or not
people with NPD actually have really low
but it's just kind of covered up with
this big grandiose persona thinking by
carrying on like they're wonderful and
we know also that those with BPD have a
really low self esteem and so because of
our low self esteem and we look on at
someone with NPD who can seem so
confident and so like together it can
seem really really appealing to us but
obviously problems are going to occur in
the relationship for a few reasons
firstly someone with NPD is very likely
to get into the relationship well both
of them will get into the relationship
very quickly without needing to know any
history about them we just jump in to
the relationship which I don't need to
know about their past we don't even need
to know them that well we just decide
yet this relationship works and we get
together but someone with NPD very soon
feel like we have fulfilled we've
fulfilled all that they needed from us
we've boosted their self-esteem and just
as quickly as they can get with us they
can discard us someone with BPD we know
can think in black and white and so for
a while we might be looking at our
partner with NPD and putting them on a
pedestal when thinking they're so
amazing but at some point our kind of
white thinking turns the black thinking
and they fall off that pedestal and this
isn't good for the person with NPD
because this is not going to boost their
self-esteem if we've now thrown them
into the black bone we don't see this is
going to cause problems so maybe at this
point when we're seeing them is all bad
and they think well I don't need you
anymore I'll move on it's the person
with BPD we can all have some panic
because we don't want to be on our own
we have a fear of abandonment and so
we'd really like you to try and cling on
to the relationship even if like part of
our mind is screaming at us like we know
this relationship is not good for us
we know it is going to only get more and
more painful that fear of abandonment is
so strong we just can't let go and I'm
trying to think of like the other traits
I suppose because we have an unclear and
unstable self-image and I I've discussed
before how we can very easily like
mirror someone when we kind of mirror
someone with NPD to them we appear like
we too have it all together and we're
strong and we're powerful
and because that that's that's what
we're showing them where we're putting
on this like mass to show them that yeah
we like you and they like that but once
they kind of get to know us and we take
the mask off they realize actually no
you're not is the big confident person
that I thought you were and this is a
good person with NPD because they like
to feel they're around important people
or people with status and if we kind of
they kind of in see our weakness they're
likely to turn they might belittle us
put us down but another problem is like
I said those with NPD don't and they
might appear confident but actually
they're really really not and I know as
someone with BPD
when we get angry or when we feel Cup we
can say really horrible things and the
problem here is that if we say something
that seems to put down someone with NPD
they take it so badly because they can't
bear the thought that some of the things
badly of them and they can get quite
and sometimes it's obviously nasty was
obvious but dance but the times that's
really passive-aggressive and doing it
in a really sly in subtle way that we
might not even be freely aware at the
time before is happening and I'm really
sorry guys because I've got to say I'm
just sorry I haven't really land I'm
just trying to do it all off the top of
my head and I'm I I'm on antibiotics at
the moment because the doctor thing
I have glandular fever cause I've been
like kind of rough for about month I so
I've got blood test tomorrow
when I saw I'm I want to stop this video
now but I'm really worried I'm going to
have forgotten an important he's but
then I suppose I pass it I'm going to do
more videos on the cluster B's
so if or I have missed out something
here I will I will do another video on
it have a wonderful week and I loved all
those high
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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