Being a Mum is hard – let alone when you also suffer with your mental health. This video explains why it is important to make time for you and how you can do that.

hi guys today I am taking inspiration
from you lot because my mind was blank
the other day I couldn't think about any
subject to talk about even though there
is literally so much so I'll keep
checking on baby I wanted to do a video
yesterday but little madam literally
would not let me put her down whenever
she fell asleep in my arms and put down
and she wakes creeping so I am doing it
today while she is asleep at the minutes
and right yes thank you so much for all
your ideas I have done some videos on a
few of the things that have been asked
but I will possibly do them again for
new people that just checking in with
the new videos and the first one I'm
going to talk that it was asked from the
lovely Lea Ann and it's about being a
mum with borderline when when doesn't
even have to be you to have to have
borderline you could have any mental
health issue actually you just have to
be a mum and sometimes you just feel
like you're stuck in with your kids you
don't get out the black of you click it
and you're bored you lonely and it and
it's really really tough and how do you
manage that what you do because even I
can get to the point where I want to
scream at my kids at times they're like
their drawers driving me nuts they might
not even be doing anything wrong they
could just be talking and I think shut
up I don't say it I think so what do you
do I think well for me I have a strict
routine with my kids and the reason I
have that is time management basically
because before when I didn't have
routine I'd find I would just muddle my
way through the day
and I'd get them to bed and then all of
a sudden I'd realize I still have
lunches to do I still have ironing to do
I haven't done the housework I haven't
done their seventh than that and so I
end up doing it while they're asleep and
before I know it is ten o'clock 11
o'clock at night I'm exhausted and I
just go to bed the next day it's
Groundhog Day where I do it all again
muddle through and it's horrible because
I have no time for me so that is why
time management is important it's great
that I have met older too in school I
love my kids very very much but I can't
wait for them to go to school the
holidays drive me crazy because they're
just they're constantly and I just want
some adult conversation so basically I
have my routine my order to go to school
my two-year-old Eason goes to nursery I
that's when I used to get some free time
for me so I could meet a friend for
coffee which I can still do but I have
baby at the moment and so I just haven't
been going out at all really but it is
important you get time for you so
important and not just like a minute
here or a minute there because it is
lonely so I would say to you if you can
get out to meet a friend if your kids
are in school do it go out see someone
go for a walk I know when I have been
isolating a long time because I will go
into somewhere like wigs supermarket and
I just chatter away to the person at the
tool and I think my god I can't stop
talking and I know who I'm talking
rubbish but I can't stop
okay because it's like oh my god there's
an adult who's talking to me be my
friend uh which is really sad basically
but that's what I do uh my partner he
knows if I haven't been out because he
will walk through the door and I follow
him around chattering and he's like I
just want a cup of tea I just want to
relax I'm not a little bit in his air I
don't give him a minute um to himself
because I haven't had any adult
conversation and I need it I need it and
you need it to it is really really
important at not isolate it is easy for
us when we become mums to kind of lose
our identity a bit all of a sudden I I
wasn't charina I my mom and my whole
life is about being a mom and I forget
about who I used to be and then every
now and again I remember thank God I
used to go out used to farm and I really
miss that so it's important you don't
let that go because you're not just a
mum you might be a partner daughter
you're you you know you're not just a
man and so I've completely gone off
course but what I say time management so
in the morning it's all about getting
the kids ready get in and out the door
to school and rushing round and that's
fine once I've dropped them I come home
I can have a few minutes to myself well
I say to myself I've got the baby but
babies often fallen asleep on the way so
then I do have time to phone a friend
have a cup of coffee
have a bath because that's another thing
when you were busy mom sometimes we
forget to start like looking after
ourselves because what's the point those
days I just think what's the point just
doing the school run I just want my
track suit on like my hair greasy and I
can't be bothered and it's very easy to
fall into that trap so I kind of every
few days make a point of saying no I'm
going to do my hair or I'm going to give
myself a face mask I'm going to put some
makeup on I might wear a new outfit I
say new like one not haven't worn for a
long time uh-huh just to make myself
feel good about me because like I said
it can become all about the kids and we
completely neglect ourselves and a bit
of self-care and if itself love goes a
long way I know if I put on a bit of
makeup and I bother to do my hair and
wear something nice I feel better about
myself so why not do that every it
doesn't have to be every day if you
don't have time or can't be bothered
that's fine there's nothing wrong with
having greasy hair sometimes in
tracksuit bottoms but it's also nice to
have self care so I've gone off track
again um haha right well as ice yes I
kids off to school they're gone I'm home
tea or coffee I having a bath I do my
hair um I can like I said call a friend
arranged to meet a friend and if you
like down to the gym go to the gym I
know the gym that I go to I have not
been since last year at the beginning of
last year nearly like Easter
and but they've got quest so I can stick
the baby in the crash or stick the
toddler in the crash and I know it's a
really good crash I have used it before
and had lost recommendations so it's not
like I'm just gambling i'm a kid but
it's important because exercise as well
can make you feel good about yourself it
gets those endorphins going and you just
feel better if you don't like doing that
maybe go for a swim just have some kind
of hobbies that you can do um it could
be reading sometimes it's nice just to
have some quiet time um sometimes when
your kids are being really really
naughty I was going to swear then but I
didn't and little munchkins that they
are sometimes you just need a few
minutes my daughter the other day well
my son and my daughter was Ian Amelia
Daisy they had homework so I said I
would sit with them while they did it
and son just kept messing around and
doing things wrong and I was getting
annoyed I said you know what my time is
precious if you do not want to do this I
won't help you and he was at I do want
to do it but then he kept messing around
again so I said no I open you do it
yourself hand it in as it is let the
teacher see your squirrel on your paper
and he broked up her worry about me and
I was like I told you my time is
precious I'm going to help your sister
if you have calmed down and decided you
wanted to do your homework then I will
help you so I started helping his sister
and she was doing fine but then
completely out the blue I can't do okay
go do it she's seven she literally flung
herself on the floor did this week um
arms and
eggs on the floor I was like what you
doing get up your spin you're not too
and but she was going completely mental
me and I said I'm not doing it do you
know what I'll come back to this later
I'm not doing it I just I need timeout
and that's what I did she didn't like it
she kicked and screamed I left her to it
oh I just walked around the garden looks
at some plants and that's all I needed
ayan just needed some space just to
clear my head then I came back and she
apologized and said I'm ready to do my
hand wet so I SAT with her we did it and
then my son's I'm ready to do my
homework so we SAT and we did it and
everything was good and I didn't have to
smash up house or go completely crazy
and their homework got done hmm but what
I'm saying it's important for you to
recognize when they're pushing you to
the limit and just generally being
little monkeys give yourself five
minutes take some time out there is
nothing wrong with taking five minutes
to calm down if you come back in and
they still doing it say oh I need to
know that time out and go again um so
yeah that's what I do when they're
absolutely going mad right so then I let
my kids from school so it's all about
the kids again they're getting home I'm
packing their bags some I can no longer
once this I pull that face because when
i open my son's lunch box I want to be
sick it is often covered in yogurt with
crackers and crisps and everything just
merged in and and it's quite horrific
and every day I have to look forward to
that so I am dude the lunch boxes and I
get dinner on now I get dinner on as
soon as I walked through the door I
often haven't even taken my coat off I
haven't coat on and I'm doing
now because I have to stick to my
routine once dinners out the way that's
like big thing out the way they have
been fed and then I can focus on things
like homework and get things ready for
the next day so I prepare for the next
morning they have all their uniforms in
order hung up I earned wash ready to go
my daughter's on pink hangers my son's
on blue so they can just go in it's a
low-down thing where it's hung so they
can get the uniforms in the morning I
have lunch boxes out and ready to go so
I just have to get stuff from the fridge
put it in the lunch boxes I have
toothbrushes ready not with the
toothpaste long because it hard but
ready to go so they can easily get to it
a toothpaste to do their teeth in the
morning I put out the bowls for their
cereal or breakfast stuff already out so
when I come down like I come into the
kitchen proposals are there ready I just
have to pour the theory or in and while
I'm making my coffee so I do all these
things before they have gone to bed I
get their pajamas down if they have had
a bath they like their pajamas slightly
warmed on the radiator not precious at
all other but yep so we get the pajamas
on my kids have a good thing of saying
to me when I've got them in bed I'm
hungry I can't sleep I'm hungry so there
but I have them in bed at seven at half
six I bring out a little tray of cut up
apples cut cucumber carrot sticks or
whatever and put on the table hey guys
and their dislike like little vultures
around it but since I've been doing that
they have stopped saying I'm hungry so
they actually go to bed then so that has
saved me a bit of time once they're in
it's not lights out yet I do the stories
i am still reading to them they all have
their individual stories i've obviously
now got to incorporate the baby into it
so i breastfeed her while i read to them
so that is done so she has been fed so
after they've gone down and i turned
their light out I can spring her in wind
her change her put her in red so she can
sleep then the time is mine I have a few
hours the lights are out latest eight
o'clock it's usually half seven but
sometimes we go over and that's okay to
go over a little bit you can't be so
rigid otherwise it'll just like drive
you nuts thinking I'm not on time I'm
not on time so I then have a few hours
for me I don't have to do the lunches
I've done them I don't have to get stuff
ready i've done it signed my son's
reading book I've done things that house
moms have to do and I can sit down I can
watch Pelle I can read a magazine I can
read a book I could have a bath base
time for me and what has been great
since moving house because I now live
with my partner whereas before I didn't
really see him of an evening so i would
go to bed when they went to bed now I
get to spend some time with him and
sometimes we watch a program together
sometimes we don't sometimes he wants to
play the xbox like he's five but that's
ok that's ok he can do that and but yeah
I get time ah another thing i do when my
kids are getting in their pajamas i'm
getting in mine i can get in my non
washing my face so then if i get really
relaxed than that over the evening i
don't have to think oh I still go get
ready for bed because I'm ready and
that's great so
yeah that's why routine is important to
me I can struggle even now what we can
sometimes because I haven't got that mad
rush in the morning so what I'm trying
to do is still kind have it a little bit
I get up come on guys let's get you
dressed rather than us being in our
pajamas all day I'll I we don't do that
and so we can smell me tough holidays
can be tough but like I said if you can
stick to a routine as much as possible
because it is so important you get some
time like I said to do a hobby do
something you like do something for you
that has nothing to do with the children
go and see a friend go for a chat have a
coffee but don't chat about the kids
kids up off limits you're not allowed to
talk about them it's batty Boop it's all
about you today and even if you can do
that just a few times a week not like
every single day even if you do that
sometimes you will start to feel better
yeah better about yourself and I'm
quarter to it's nearly the school ran
and yeah you'll feel so much better
about yourself you'll feel you have a
purpose not just to be a mom but have
fun and enjoy life as well my kids think
I'm just a mom and I have no life
they're right sometimes but I'm fighting
against that fighting to have a life and
not just be a mum and i would highly
suggest it not only will you be less
bored less frustrated and less resentful
because we can get resentful and resent
our kids like even though it was our
decision to have children sometime
obviously it's not always but yeah we
there are times when you think God like
back when I didn't have kids I could do
this I could do that I could just go out
now icon I'm tied down and you can
either regret having them you can start
resenting them but it's okay to
acknowledge those feelings it doesn't
mean you don't love your kids you're
only human you know and it's
acknowledging that and then doing
something about it not getting rid of
your kids or just really away it's a
little bit and that's okay so I'm going
to leave it there guys but I will be
back in the week hopefully cuz
everything just seems to be getting in
my way at the moment and stuff and me
doing my videos but oh I got faster
internet coming and friday woo so it
means my videos will be quicker to
upload so hopefully i'll be able to do a
few more have a great week nah of you
all I
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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