hi-yah today I'm gonna talk about
picking and you thinking what are you
talking about
um right I don't know if it's a trait of
people with borderline personality
disorder or if it was just me but I had
a problem with picking I would pick my
face look for spots that weren't even
there sometimes and just squeeze and
squeeze and I'll just get so I don't
know light I just couldn't stop picking
my face and it would get so bad that
like the next day I would wake up of my
face would be covered in scabs where I'd
literally just broken the skin all over
my faith and then I'd be so upset and
devastated that I just literally
destroyed myself I suppose it's a form
of self-harm and then I just wouldn't
want to see anyone and I'd be depressed
and embarrassed until next time and not
do it again
I used to also pick up my eyes and used
to constantly pick me and I learnt to
turn eyelid inside out and not be
picking picking picking like that sleep
you know you get asleep in your eye but
it there wasn't even sleep there but the
more I picked obviously more was going
to come to one point I ended up in
hospital and I was nearly like I could
have blinded myself I'd picked my eye so
badly I'd actually taken and lay off the
inside of my eyelid thinking it was
sleep and I'd put down he was skin not
just my eyes I picked my hair and I
think it was like an anxious thing but
it was constant like and I pick my
sounds gross but til my bike head would
bleed basically then I'll pick somewhere
else till it bleed and pick and then a
few days later you'd get like little
scabs so then I pick them up and I'd do
it again and again and again to the
point I started getting bald patches on
my head where I just picked my sculpt so
much
I'm really lucky actually I it grew back
because I had right in the middle I was
losing all my hair there just from
picking it started coming back about a
year ago and I just didn't realize and I
was like that and my partner's like what
you doing I'm picking us I don't do that
okay and then sure enough again and I
think I did it I think I was like I've
suffered a bit with my anxiety at the
time and but I didn't I did manage to
stop there but it was such a horrid
trade to have and it was like it was
kind of embarrassing I didn't know who
to talk to
like would you say oh my god put my pick
but I did that for years I'm like I said
face eyes hair and I suppose yeah it's a
subversive for myself how am I supposed
cuz I was actually harming like that of
like doing it till it bled yes
I don't do that today
what did I do to stop a tone I think
like when I just started learning other
coping skills it wasn't even learning
safe skills to replace it I think it's
just with the whole doing a DBT program
I was doing toe steps my life just
started changing I started becoming
happier and all those the picking just
stopped thankfully but I thought I'd do
a video on it in case there are other
people out there that do it that might
identify because it's not something we
really talk about and it's not something
I've really talked with other people
about so I thought I'd share that with
you alright my lovelies yeah lots of
love I