say hi say hi my lovelies say hi my
lovelies he won't say hi my lovelies
today I am doing a normal video as in a
video requests not spirituality series
because I didn't get video out on Monday
so I had two video requests that were
complete opposites one person asked me
to discuss BPD and how empathic we are
and then someone asked me to talk about
BPD in our lack of empathy so complete
opposites I can relate to both and I
think both can be quite accurate
I will first discuss how so someone who
is empathetic is someone who is
extremely sensitive to other people
might be animals how they're feeling and
just understand that and pick up on that
and it's quite paradoxical because if
you take something with BPD
we are really good distorting things
distorting um what people say looks
people give us and so someone might look
at us just look at us harmlessly but we
just thought that and take that as they
look to us in disgust well they don't
like us so how can people who are so
good at distorting things be highly
intuitive and highly perceptive and be
able to pick up another people's
emotions
curently and our study has been done
where they showed faces of just people
pulling different emotional faces but I
think only this part was shown so they
had a group of people's BPD looking and
people without BPD looking and they had
to guess the emotion and the group that
got it most liked accurate each time was
those with BPD they seemed to pick up on
those emotions I can relate to this when
I was on a mental health board prior to
that I had been going through like whole
load of stuff I was not a nice person I
was physically verbally abusive and then
I got put on her mental health ward and
I always remember there was this guy on
there he was about 50 and he used to
just sit there like looking like this
news dribble dribble and his family used
to come and see him and his son said he
just took so much acid over the years
this this is basically the consequence
of taking acid all his life and the
family would go and we were on the top
floor of the hospital the mental health
law where we lived was on the top floor
and family would go and the god the guy
would go and we stood at the window like
this just waving the family never knew
that and their driver and I would
literally feel heartbroken for him like
they upset me so much cuz I thought he
just his waving and they don't even know
and so the next time they were in I said
did you know he always waves at you and
so after that they started waving at him
so it was really bizarre because that's
the only once case or like when I was in
the mental health war but I was quite
good at going around and talking to
people and seen how they're feeling and
so the point now I actually got asked if
I was member stuff no I'm a patient and
then I left the mental health ward and I
went back to my normal ways
I think we can be highly intuitive we
can be perceptive
it can be extremely empathetic when our
emotions are stable when our emotions
are not stable which unfortunately is a
lot of the time we are so caught up in
the pain of air we can't possibly be
empathetic we can't read people properly
because we are just literally struggling
with the internal pain that we're
feeling and that kind of makes sense to
me
because I wasn't empathetic I was just
going around and being abusive to people
and then I got put somewhere like a safe
place where my mood calm nothing was
gonna trigger me and all of a sudden I
could empathize until I went back to
reality and then I couldn't so I can see
that I I can't like read the newspaper
or what sad films or watch the news
because it immediately does something to
me it like gives me this knot in my
stomach it's more than just
understanding it's like I feel their
pain and I cut off from it completely
because I just can't go there because I
know how painful it is and I also know
like my emotions the borderline
personality disorders where we cannot
regulate our emotions so if I had a
really intense emotion I always have
that fear that it's just gonna run away
with itself so I kind don't allow myself
to have anything do that I've kind of
got something going on at the moment
actually so my mum
my stepdad and my brother are gonna move
here to porn myth where I live
and I'm so excited my brother is now
well he's got a walker but he's in a
wheelchair at the time and my mom will
have more support my my mom has to work
at the moment my brother's at home on
his own and if he was they were down
here I would like do the school run up
Nick Brown there I'll probably do my
videos when I'm around there so they
would have more support my brother
wouldn't be on his own all the time so
they saw the perfect house and they put
not for him and someone else came in and
they didn't offer as much but there was
no chain so they got accepted and I
drove past the house yesterday and I had
a sold sign and I just hope devastated
and talking to my mom I just feel
devastated but I'm really having to like
hold it together because I don't know it
was just the perfect house it really was
but I have to be careful with my
emotions because I cannot I can see how
easy it would be for me just to get
pulled down and feel down and miserable
so yeah I just have to be really careful
with it so I kind of to think as well
that I'm really good like shutting down
my emotions which will then come to talk
about lack of empathy because only when
you've got borderline personality
disorder and you live with that internal
pain that you realized just how painful
our emotions can be and I'm pretty sure
it's our brains way of saying that now
not doing it too painful shut down and
we can come across as really
and heartless like we don't care and I
don't believe it is that it's not we
don't care it's we it's how like wines
way of stopping us from getting kind of
emotionally involved because our own
emotions are painful enough let alone if
we then start taking on the emotions of
other people and I know like borderline
personality disorder in teenagers
actually can come across as narcissistic
traits because one of the things in
teenagers with BPD is that they lack
empathy and I don't know the reason for
that but I just know that I've read that
and that's what they say that's one of
the signs of BPD and teenagers it's like
they don't have empathy but then you
grow into fully grown adult with BPD and
you do have empathy unless you don't I
think I used to really empathize with
people but to the point that it just
wasn't good for me because I would have
my own emotional turmoil and then I was
very good at taking on other people's
and it was just extremely painful to do
that I suppose as well like like with
anyone
some people can empathize more than
others and I suppose that was the case
with those of us with BPD we're not all
exactly the same we don't empathize
exactly the same or we don't lack
empathy the in the exact same whales
they were man and I know like when I
used to have my meltdowns I was so
caught up in the moment that like it it
was the fight-or-flight response and I
was in fight mode that I certainly
wouldn't stop back to think of how am i
hurting others bah once I it calmed down
then I did used to feel really bad like
some of the things I did especially some
of the ways I straight to my mom it
eat me up inside and because I would
feel so bad because I literally feel her
her and I hated that
and so yeah I would say like both the
video requests those active her
sometimes we can lack empathy and
sometimes we're overly empathetic but
right I'm gonna leave that there but
tomorrow night my older two we're going
to their dance so I've only got the
younger two to get to sleep so I'm gonna
do a livestream at 8 p.m. GMT that's the
UK time 8 p.m. I don't know where in the
world you are but if you google it I'm
sure you'll find out obviously if
something came up and I couldn't do it I
will put a post on the community so it
will come up and you'll see but let's
say let's make it date guys let's make a
day 8 p.m. tomorrow and I be there right
love you loads