I used to be consumed with loneliness and I really didn’t believe I would ever feel differently. I was so alone and so desperate and yet I didn’t know what to do to escape this feeling.

Transcript:
hi guys happy Monday today I am doing a
video request from matheus and Mathias
asked me about mental health and
loneliness borderline personality
disorder and loneliness and I am sure a
lot of you out there have experienced
this and it's more than just feeling
like I'm lonely
not quite anyone around me it's more
than that it's like this overwhelming
feeling of complete emptiness this void
inside and a kind of fear and
desperation because you can't see
yourself feeling any other way I used to
think oh my god I'm gonna feel like this
forever
like I am going to spend the rest of my
life alone now when we have borderline
personality disorder I've said before
we're not just that lucky to just have
the borderline we often have coexisting
disorders two of them might be
depression and anxiety again depression
honest on its own can cause us to feel
this emptiness this void this loneliness
we don't see people we sometimes don't
want to get out of bed we don't want to
do anything and the same with anxiety
anxieties often we're so feared up we
can't go out we don't want to socialize
because it brings on panic attacks and
so we end up isolating and we isolate
ously we're alone and that can bring on
feelings of loneliness and then we have
the borderline personality disorder but
we feel so different anyway
we feel like no one understands us we
don't know why we are the way we are we
don't even know who we are like we don't
know how we just don't we feel lost we
feel afraid we feel alone and that's a
scary scary place to be I could be in a
room full of people
all and feel so alone so it wasn't like
I just had to be alone to feel alone
I didn't there could be people around
and I could still feel alone because it
was that feeling from within and for me
the night times possibly were the worst
to begin with but over time it just got
to the point where I just felt like it
constantly all the time no matter where
I was who I was with so it is something
that I can really understand and I know
it's just it's devastating it can take
over your life not I tell you the time
recovery is possible and so I'm gonna
give you a few things that could help if
you suffer with anxiety or with
depression and you're not on medication
this is something you need to really
consider and talk through with your
doctor because medication will not solve
it it will not just stop you being
depressed like that it will not just
stop you having panic attacks and
feeling anxious but what it will do it
can take that edge off and give you kind
of the little punch that you need to
overcome these disorders with anxiety it
is very much feeling the fear and saying
you know what I'm just gonna do it
anyway because if we don't we build up
an app and up in our head until it
becomes so huge but we don't we like
completely like frozen like we can't do
anything understanding anxiety and
understanding what panic attack is why
we have a panic attack can be helpful as
well understanding like what's going on
in our body and what's going on
I have done a video on this guys I think
it was called panic attacks I have a
feeling it was a long time ago
um but kind of explaining like because
panic attacks are actually our body's
way I suppose are protecting us when
we're in danger and it's the brain works
in a way that goes way back
so when humans first existed but I won't
go into all here because I have done a
video on it explaining it um but yeah I
think knowledge is power isn't it just
understanding things and I think even
like with the borderline just
understanding why we are the way we are
can become make us become self-aware and
once we are aware then we can start
making changes so feeling the fear doing
it anyway I think there's a book called
that actually pretty sure and actually I
think I have it but I didn't run it
anyway it's off topic um keeping busy
having hobbies doing fulfilling things
it doesn't have to be to start with like
go out make a load of friends it can be
just doing things on your own to start
with to try and distract your mind and
keep you focused on something because
when we kind of focused on something
else we can kind of forget that
loneliness just for the time being and
it could be painting drawing coloring in
writing in a journal actually writing
down how you feel because sometimes just
writing and having it there on paper can
kind of take the power out of it a bit
obviously talking talking is so huge but
I also know that when I was in my
darkest days I didn't talk to anyone not
even my best friend not my mom I didn't
tell anyone
kind of really just suffered in silence
so I do get and that talking just isn't
always an option
and getting out going for a walk going
for a jog or run to release some
endorphins and pets animals are like
amazing I know like just stroking a pet
a cat or a dog or whatever your pairs it
can be so calming if you don't have a
pet I know in this country I don't know
if it's all worldwide but if it's not
you could always start up and they do
things like if you want to volunteer to
walk people's dogs I mean lots of people
have dogs and but they also have a job
and so there are our work most of the
day so you can actually volunteer to
walk someone's pet just for an hour a
day it will get you out you could
possibly meet people like in the park or
the dog walkers or no dog walkers when I
used to have my dog and we used to like
just all talk but you're cool how old is
he
you know just like that light
conversation but then you can kind of
you see the same person every day you
can build a relationship but you can
then be like gee plants came for a
coffee
I wish back when I found out I had
borderline personality disorder that
someone had said to me you know how
you're feeling Serena you know how
you're feeling right now there are
billions of people out there feeling
just like you because I didn't know that
I really didn't know that I thought I
was the only person going through this
and there was no one out there that will
understand and how wrong I was because
there are literally millions of us guys
and I know that doesn't really help you
and stop you feeling lonely but
sometimes it's just good to know okay
there are other people out there and
it's kind of connecting to people I mean
I've I have got the best idea well I
would say that's my idea for like its
kind of self-help thing that I'm doing
online I'm trying to build it well I'm
not building out I'm designing it and I
was talking to Rick you know the guy who
set up blacksheep project and I'm hoping
together we will be able to get it bill
and get it out there for you guys
because I think you could benefit so
much I just want to tell the world but
I'm also very aware someone might try to
steal my idea and and not just that it's
still where I did because I kind of want
everyone to have it and do it I don't
move to do it wrong because I think my
way is the best and so yeah what if I
covered hobbies doing things as sports
and writing drawing pets and connecting
with other people online like if there
are Facebook groups or Instagram groups
talking to other people that kind of
understand how you're feeling if
obviously a day comes when you are
literally consumed with this loneliness
and you feel like you've had enough
there are people you can call this the
crisis line and the Samaritans and it is
just picking up that phone and talking
to someone because like I've said a
million times to you guys I did not
think there was a way out I really
didn't I thought I was gonna be stuck
like that ever
and I wish I'd known but then I wish I
could have seen into the future realized
like how different my life would be but
obviously I couldn't see into the future
and so I just kind of had to find out
for myself that recovery is possible and
that's why I do my videos to tell you
that you don't have to always feel like
this but we're also going to need to
wrong what's the word take action
basically because if we don't do
anything well nothing's gonna change if
we sat there saying I feel so alone but
I'm not gonna do anything about it I
just want to sit here saying I feel so
alone we're always just going to feel so
alone I'm not saying you have to get out
and socialize the loads of people like I
said I took baby steps to start with and
to start with it might be interacting
with an animal instead of a person and
that's okay they might just be doing
hobbies on your own that is okay but you
can get through this you really really
can get through this no matter how much
you think you can't how do you think
literally there's no light at the end of
the tunnel I am here telling you yes
there is you just can't see it yet but
try making small changes because you
don't have to always feel like this way
but also on the other hand the way you
feel is normal fast
that is something we go through you're
not the only one going through it there
are people out there right now thinking
and feeling exactly how you're thinking
and feeling but it doesn't always have
to be that way
I'm going to leave that there today guys
I hope you have a lovely rest of the
week and I will be back on Wednesday
love you all bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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