I used to think a partner could fix me and make me better…so long as they did what I wanted them to do. If they did something that upset me I would threaten to self-harm – if they still didn’t listen to what I wanted I would then go ahead and self-harm and then I would blame them for it. I could not see that I was to blame in any way. I sometimes wanted to hurt them because I was hurting. I would blackmail, abuse and basically be a really nasty person if I felt what they were doing was out of my control.