With BPD we can have times where we start to feel normal – and then the low hits and we are unable to function.

hi guys excuse the hair I haven't
bothered to straighten it I I'm having
one of those weeks where everything
health-wise seems to be going wrong but
headaches I've got a sty in my eye
I got sniffles I got coffee I'm not
really very sexy at the moment
everything seems like such a huge effort
this week even making the kids a
sandwich I can't be bothered
obviously I feed them I don't know what
do today's video was requested and it's
about our non-functioning times because
when we've got borderline personality
disorder we well you know we have our
ups and downs on a daily basis sometimes
hourly sometimes in minutes but then we
have a little stretch of time where we
feel great and we're doing our housework
and we're making ourselves look
presentable when we're going out and
meeting people and we feel okay
everything nothing's like hard work and
everything's okay and then just one day
you just get up and you can't be
bothered it's like almost as if the past
few weeks or months or whatever haven't
happened you don't want to do the
housework don't want to have a bath or
no wash your face don't wash your teeth
don't want to eat can't be bothered to
feed yourself you might have doctor's
appointments don't want to go just don't
want to go don't wanna leave the house
don't want to do anything don't want to
speak to anyone don't want to do
what do we do what we do in times like
the person that requested this video
also asked do I still get times like
that and my answer would be yes and no
no in the facts that I don't think it's
the borderline personality disorder is
that I think lots of people can just go
through a little time like that it's
just not as extreme and I think that's
what I kind of get I do actually think I
suffer with sad no seasonal affective
disorder because as soon as the Sun
starts not coming up and going down
really early my mood just drops and I
can't be bothered like in the mornings
when it's dark and grey and miserable
outside I don't want to get out bed and
I really do notice a shift in my mood
probably from about October November but
then I start getting excited about
Christmas cuz I love Christmas I'm like
a kid at Christmas and so then that
gives me something to get excited for
but then I have to come down after
Christmas from and January is a
depressing month well I have no money
nothing to look forward to and I'm just
left like feeling like crap so yes I
think possibly I get the sound but I can
also have times when it's sunny and it's
nice and it's not winter or autumn and I
notice a slight decline in my motivation
I can't be bothered as much I will leave
the house work like I said like I said
at the beginning of this video
I've kind of felt it this week I think
this week is slightly different because
I'm feeling quite well unwell and I know
when I feel unwell
it affects me mentally and I start
feeling mentally a little sicker so yeah
like I said at the beginning this week
for me has been I don't want to do this
don't wanna do that can't be bothered to
do this and that that in itself
irritates me but I can't just get on
like why can't you just get the Hoover
out and do who free and I think I'll do
in a minute doing them you know don't
five minutes objective Oh time to let
the kids never got to vote and the same
with the dishes
I hardly them in a minute do the
Menomonee they just don't get done and
then I have to do them for bed and it's
like because I need the kids lunches
lunch boxes clean for the next day so I
have to do it but what do you do when
you go through a period of functioning
perfectly well and then you go to
non-functioning don't want to do
anything it is really hard especially
when you've had that little high because
I know like back when my borderline
personality kinda controlled me and when
I had a period where I could function
normally I felt great like I felt normal
and I would almost forget I had
borderline personality disorder I'd be
on a bit of a high and so then when you
go from that all of a sudden the slump
where you don't want to do anything it's
really hard because it's a real like
swap in the face like the border lights
and it's not nice for me I learnt to
accept it I think acceptance is a huge
thing rather than fighting it and
thinking there's something wrong with me
a little and questioning it I kind of
start to go with the flow and say right
this is how it is right now I can't be
bothered but I know eventually I will be
bothered and I try not to dwell on it
too much because the more I dwell dwell
on it the more it would get me down and
there was no point in that because I
felt down anyway because I know it's
very easy to say well just motivate
yourself because when you feel like that
you don't want to motivate yourself you
want to do all and yeah I would say
it's kind of accepting this you've also
got to accept that this is kinda part of
even recovery because you don't go from
the complete chaos to everything's great
everything's fine and you never have a
dip part of recovery
is we have periods of feeling great then
we have feelings periods of feeling not
so great but what you find the further
into recovery you go the highs and
feeling good and the functioning periods
start lasting longer and the non
functioning periods start getting less
and less and further and further apart
till eventually they go and like I said
we are human we are always going to be
on a high grey everyone can have times
where they're like just don't want to
get up I don't want to do anything and
it's okay to feel like that
it is just accepting things as they are
from now and knowing all right I won't
want to do anything right now but like I
said it's not always gonna be like that
you will get your motivation back I
think it's very hard to force it
sometimes you might find it goes at
quicker if you just kind of go with the
flow and say I'm not doing anything I'm
just sitting here today and then maybe
the next day you'll be bored of sitting
there and then you might want to do
something I don't know Anna but it's
worth trying it there's no point in just
fighting it that's how you feel at times
like this it's worth maybe seeing your
doctor and saying I'm just I just don't
want to do anything I've got anymore no
motivation maybe it's the case of they
can up your antidepressant slightly and
then when you'll come out and you're
feeling better they can lower them back
down you know that I don't think
medication solves everything but I do
think the medication is amazing and it
can give us that little pick up the buck
that we need sometimes to help us on our
way and it doesn't mean you have to be
on it forever I think I covered
everything well I know I'm gonna press
stop and then I'm gonna think um yeah
yeah I can underly vit there but like I
said if you are going through that
non-functioning period don't beat
yourself up about it because there's no
point we beat ourselves up all the time
anyway what's the point in doing it some
more um but just accepting yeah this is
how I feel right now but it won't last
Wow bye guys
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

2 thoughts on “BPD and our Non-Functioning Times

  1. I love dark and grey and gloomy. I’m not terribly fond of sunlight. Not surprisingly, I’m planning on moving to the Edinburgh area. As soon as possible.

    • Oh no I tend to like the bright sunshine! I don’t mind the early nights in the run up til Christmas but after that it just gets me down. I hope your move goes well Hunni xxx

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