hi my lovelies today I'm going to do a
video request from life worth living and
they asked about borderline personality
disorder and social media usage and I
have been in this kind of situation
myself where I start using Facebook and
if it literally becomes addictive
whereas I'm on it all the time I don't
think this is just borderlines
that get this anyone can become addicted
to social media and social media is
great in the fact that we can contact
people that we haven't seen for years or
contact maybe family members that live
abroad and it's brilliant for that but
it also has a dark side on social media
I think everyone likes to portray the
best side of themselves and but it can
almost become competitive where you'll
compete you see someone on holiday so
you want to post an even better picture
so they post an even better picture and
in the end it kind of distorts reality
and what we're seeing isn't actually
someone's reality and I know this myself
whereas I have posted a picture of me
and my panel happy and smiling with the
people that I see in the photo don't
know is that an hour earlier we had a
blazing row and the photo wasn't taken
after it has been taken a few days
before and I'm posting a photo like yeah
we're so happy we're like with the
happiest couple in the world when
actually an hour before we were at each
other's throats but no one sees that
nowadays also with the photos you can
put filters on and filters I get you can
make the photo look slightly better but
people actually tend to Photoshop make
themselves thinner bigger eyes you know
and completely change what is reality
and so
I think for young people is really hard
because they're growing up seeing like
this perfect world and it's just not
like that it's not real that isn't real
life we're seeing a false side not
always false but we're still seeing the
best side because a lot of the time
people don't want you to see their
reality because the reality might seem
boring and I think more than more than
that though when we have borderline
personality disorder our emotions as you
know are really really intense and and
sometimes I know people have done this
on my facebook
they might post something just say an
old friend puts up a post and it's one
of those ranting posts like oh you
really learn who your friends are watch
out for the snake forever and I haven't
seen this person in ages I do not know
what they're talking about they're
having a ramp but I will take it to my
mean it's me they're talking about me
they're saying I'm the snake I haven't
been there for them and it can bring up
a lot of emotions in me I have like a
life worth living wrote about deleting
people and then adding reading them
again and people like why did you delete
me I've done exactly the same and just
had the hump with someone because if
they've posted something that I haven't
alight I haven't agreed with they get
deleted and then once I've calmed down
and my emotions are kind of steady for
the few minutes a day that they were and
I oh I was in a good mood
ivory had that person and if I just
happened to bump in a said oh you delete
me I would be like oh sorry I did that
by mistake or I don't know how that have
and I have to sly I just lied because I
didn't know oh yeah because you sent
this post is it just seems so ridiculous
but at the time I felt I had a really
valid reason for doing it now this is
okay if it happens once in a blue moon
but it didn't it would happen regularly
for me and not necessarily me deleting
people all the time like I have done
that but just getting in the mood about
things feeling my life is less than
another thing that I read about I
haven't actually done this and I'll tell
you the reason I haven't done this
because it's not like it's not the sort
of thing I would do but stalking X's or
XS new girlfriends and I hear about it
all the time because you can just go on
and look through their pictures but the
reason I haven't done this is I am so
paranoid that they would find out I had
looked at their page that it stops me
because I would hate for them to know
that I had done that so um I think it's
down to my pride just does not let me
and if I truly believe that there no I
do here perhaps I'd go nuts and that
could become addictive in itself knowing
what they're getting up to who they get
going out with are they better than me
and again this is really not good for us
this is not good for our sanity and but
it is something we do I think as
borderlines
we can get hurt over things that might
not necessarily hurt other people and we
can use things to make ourselves feel
better and that could be becoming
addicted to social media and coming
becoming addicted to posting
non-realistic pictures of ourselves like
finding a new filter and a way to
photoshop our pictures that we look the
skinniest and the best the best hair and
thinking oh god I look great there I'm
gonna post
and then posting more and more pictures
like that and but then I'd be I
personally would be scared that then
people would see me in real life for me
like you look nothing like your pictures
so I tend to go the other way when I do
know something I tend to post a worse
looking picture like like I said before
and they snapped out so here's a Hitler
little those hideous pictures I caused
the pirate I think yesterday with a
missing tooth and I look really really
rad
but then if someone sees me in real life
oh you're better than your fridges um
well maybe they weren't maybe they're
think I'm bear as a pirate but you know
who cares so I think it is normal well I
say it's normal I don't think it's
normal to become addicted to social
media but I think it's very very common
and I think it is very very dangerous
I don't think it's good for us I was
literally getting to the point that I
would wake up and I was on social media
and I do like say have a bath of check
my social media be doing my makeup
checking my social media and it was just
constant and in the end I have to say
right I am just not doing this I'm
putting my phone down I personally as on
the mum I don't think it's good for my
kids to see me on my phone all the time
and because they want attention and I
think it's important they get attention
not that their mum is completely
ignoring them to say look at have phone
so I'm quite aware of that and that's
that's helped me out it because it then
means I'm not just giving up Facebook
just because I was addicted I've got a
reason to not do it because I have the
kids and and in the beginning it is hard
and you almost feel like you're having
withdrawals from it because you're so
used to just doing it but can't have it
and but it is a matter of trying to
break that cycle and saying right I'm
going to limit myself
- well maybe say once a day to start
with I go on Facebook like my personal
Facebook maybe once a week sometimes it
goes longer without going on it and it
does help at home busy and the thing is
when we start suffering with our mental
health especially like how I used to be
say before I even had the kids I wasn't
working I had no kids or sat around I
had nothing else to do so it was very
very easy for me just to sit on the sofa
all day checking my phone and but it's
not good it's not real life it's not
good for us and it is breaking that
cycle cutting down and just saying no I
am NOT going on there for a few hours I
going on once today and limit your time
on there like it's no good saying I'll
go on once today getting on in the
morning and coming off it in the
afternoon literally just a short time
say 20 minutes looking through do what
you have to do get off and at one point
I actually closed down my account
because then it would be harder for me
to go in and reopen it and that's what I
did I was going to say something
probably really really important
I've got forgot it so I'm gonna leave it
there but yeah just be aware try and get
busy do other things even if it's just
getting out and going for a walk it's
going to be so much healthier for you
and I will see you all in the peak bye
guys