People with borderline often have another disorder – whether it’s depression, anxiety or all of them. Panic attacks are scary – but our body is reacting normally – the problem is when we perceive something to be a threat – and it is not a threat. Our anxiety is not justified.
hi guys I hope you are all well I have actually spent nearly the past week in bed only getting up to look after the kids do the school run and literally when coming home after the school run sleeping all day going for how and because I caught the kids bug and it's that time of year when they start getting stuff and then I start getting something for some reason I seem to get it worse and it sucks so I have been quite I haven't been able to respond to it from comments and I am really sorry because I do like to try and get back to you but today I'm gonna do a video request from Kate hi Kate and she asked me about borderline personality disorder and having panic attacks OCD panic attacks over trivial issues now most people not everyone but most people with borderline tend to have it another disorder with it so someone with borderline might have borderline personality disorder and depression borderline personality disorder and anxiety or all of them together but they are separate disorders now I have done a video before on anxiety but I'll kind of recap here so basically when we have a panic attack it affects us physically the first time I had a panic attack I was in my teens I thought I was dying I did not know what was wrong and when I found out it was a panic attack I kind of felt silly oh my god why did I react that way but the way our body reacts when we have a panic attack is normal and let me explain so going back to cavemen types I like to go back to caveman times we were often then open to a lot of threats wild animals maybe a lion coming to get us and so our body would prepare us for the fight-or-flight response and the way that would happen our breathing would get quicker because we'd be needing more oxygen to pump our body but blood pump our blood around our body to get our muscles ready ready to fight we would become hyper alert looking around like paranoid because we needed to we needed to be on alert to see what was around us we needed to have all that energy so we could either fight the lion or run away from the lion so that's normal the problem is you're not in cavemen times anymore we don't have lions just coming along to try and eat us there are different like stresses and things that can happen that would need our body to react in that way so for example if we are walking down a quiet road at night and we hear footsteps behind us and we glance behind and maybe Solms walking down the road they've got a knife or a weapon and they're speeding up towards us our body needs to react we need to either turn around and fight or we need to run away so our body does that but here's the thing when we go into a supermarket and all of sudden that paranoia kicks in and we look around everyone's looking at us and our body starts going like that we don't we don't need our body to do that that is not an actual threat that is we do not need to run away you do not need to fight but her body has a panic attack and that's the problem nowadays people are more stressed they are working like people are working constantly the problems about money problems our mental health in general and all these things kind of contribute to us suffering with our anxiety and our anxiety coming up but really aren't approp inappropriate times so like Kate said she's having panic attacks of really trivial issues it might be like Kate hasn't said this but this is something that might have given me a panic attack I hear the letterbox cutting is it a bill is a bill coming through how am I gonna fourth bill oh my god I've gotta lose the house I'm gonna have nothing full-on panic attack it's just a letter might just be the newspaper local newspaper being posted but I've had a panic attack overt and and it is scary and we don't need to react in that way even if it is a bill I don't need to fight or run away but my body reacts like I do so the best thing that I found helped me with panic attacks was to my breathing basically because my body would immediately my breathing would go fast like my heart rate would go fast and for me just by focus on your breathing slowing that down it slowed everything else down and it calmed me I found it really calming and one side kind of calm down I could then kind of talk to myself and say there's nothing to panic about it was just the letterbox but I couldn't beat I couldn't tell myself that while I was having a panic attack but all I had to think was focus on your breathing focus slow it down slow it down because then physically everything else kind of slows down the sweats would stop my heart rate would stop going so fast and I could just really focus my mind on that one thing so rather than being hyper alert looking around like at risk' breathe breathe breathe and I found that to be the most helpful thing for me when I had a panic attack I think like the OCD attacks I'm I should do a video because you hear people all the time say oh yeah I love my house clean I'm so OCD I hear it all the time I've I'm actually I've said it before I'm really OCD with my house and I've heard lots of other people say that and then when I was in rehab I met a young lad who suffered with OCD and it really kind of put things into perspective and maybe think okay well I haven't actually got OCD I mean the young lad I'm talking about his OCD completely took over his life from walking having to take certain steps in a certain way going up the stairs having to take so many up and so many down and so many up the clay being the washing has but it was literally constant he couldn't do anything he couldn't live life he actually had borderline as and it really made me think wow and I used to think I'm a seat at my house no actually now I see it like I like it tidy sometimes it can kind of interfere in my life but it's not completely taken over my life I think we can all have certain these two traits I know one actually came up to me being kind of odd I'll explain I'll explain my daughter who is eight she is going away on a residential trip her first residential trip she's going away at a couple of months I'm really nervous but we've been told that when our children go on this trip they need to know how to make their bed so my daughter's never made not like I'm not talking about just putting the cover or like I'm talking about stripping the duvet put in everything on you know and kind of starting from scratch not just all I made the bed this one so I said to her look we need to practice and we'll do it so we went in and we started putting the sheets on the duvet and this is where I realized how I have a few little issues and I have to have the duvet a certain way where the label is it has to be in the bottom right or I think something bad is going to happen to my family and when I put the cover on I've got to shake it so many times or I think someone of my family might die and have saying out loud it sounds so ridiculous so I'm making the bed with my daughter and she's putting it in I realized oh the labels over this size and I said oh me me just take it out let's just flip over and she said why is this not right I mean Annie what is it would it work and I thought how can I say no because you need to label down there or something Bad's gonna happen to our family you can't say that I couldn't say that for her so I had to go on oh yeah you're fine you're fine just yeah put it on it's great it's great and I could literally feel like my heart going as she's doing it anyway she's put it in a mouth so we're doing the bottoms up and then I'm like in just give it a shake and I see em another which is why it's done oh yeah yeah yeah it's done oh my god and I was literally like freaking help I couldn't let her see suspect yeah you've done it great job great job so she gave that to me and I realized oh I've got some issues but I think a lot of us have that I've spoken to a few people like one by I know he's a yeah he's like he's okay he's good he's he he wouldn't class him as having any mental health issues but when he leaves his house he has to flick his light switch like a couple of times but he doesn't have any other mental health problems it's that it's not taking over his life it's just something that he does it's like a superstition he has to do this and one that I do if I turn around in a circle that way I have to turn back or I think I'm all tangled up inside I feel like I'm tangled but like I said I think a lot of us have some of these quirky things it doesn't mean it is the worst thing in the world that we have to get to the bottom of it if it's not really taking over our life I would just say just leave it you don't need to be dealing with that right now if you have got borderline other mental health issues they should be your focus obviously if you feel actually no this is really getting in the way of my life then speak to a doctor about it and see if you can help there but for the anxiety I mean I'm on medication for my anxiety I am on medication for the depression I was actually watching something while ago in there saying people with borderline we get diagnosed with it might be antidepressants antipsychotics you know we get treated with these but actually none of this medication helps to stop the borderline and the reason we're treated with this is because like I said a lot of people with borderline also have anxiety also have depression so it's actually these disorders that are being treated not the borderline but here's the thing if we have anxiety if we have depression and we have borderline if we want to start learning skills to help us in the borderline area we need to kinda somehow lessen the other disorders because if we're suffering so badly with our anxiety we don't want to leave the house or is so depressed we don't want to get up there's no way we're going to be going to groups and learning skills to help with the borderline so we need to get those under control at least like take the edge off so then we can get help with the borderline and learn skills and stuff so did I answer that question I think that cave said panic things over trivial things when we have borderline our emotion it's also intense anyway and so something that might seem trivial to someone who doesn't have bold line it is not trivial to us at the time it's not trivial at all it's important it's a big deal but then we kind of look back and think what was that about like I could have sometimes I used to have panic attacks over watch like the kids for dinner my father I don't know what to cook them on - I can't do it I can't do it and that's how it used to be and then looking back I'd be like oh it's only what shall I make the kids dinner but at the time it didn't feel like oh what shall I make because did I oh my god watch so I might we can state now so it's kind of understanding that you do have borderline we do feel things more so it's things that might seem trivial to some are not necessarily trivial to us but also separating the borderline and the anxiety and trying to get like the anxiety under control because once that is under control it is a lot easier then to find recovery with the borderline because we can then focus on that more rather than completely being taken over by our panic attacks and our anxiety constantly thinking something's going to happen well the thing is with borderline is about one of the traits we can catastrophize we can have paranoid thoughts where we think oh my god something's going to happen I used to get it all the time if my kids are on a car journey I think oh my god they're gonna have a car accident what they don't make it home and I'd get so panicked about that and this is actually stuff that's out of my control and they felt very real at the time and and that that part of it that is the borderline that is the borderline but that in those two walks can then bring on intense anxiety which is really painful so I'm gonna leave that there guys because I realize I've just chat oh no no no no no no I hope your orchid ah bye
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