hi guys I hope you are all well I have
actually spent nearly the past week in
bed only getting up to look after the
kids do the school run and literally
when coming home after the school run
sleeping all day
going for how and because I caught the
kids bug and it's that time of year when
they start getting stuff and then I
start getting something for some reason
I seem to get it worse and it sucks so I
have been quite I haven't been able to
respond to it from comments and I am
really sorry because I do like to try
and get back to you but today I'm gonna
do a video request from Kate hi Kate and
she asked me about borderline
personality disorder and having panic
attacks OCD panic attacks over trivial
issues now most people not everyone but
most people with borderline tend to have
it another disorder with it so someone
with borderline might have borderline
personality disorder and depression
borderline personality disorder and
anxiety or all of them together but they
are separate disorders now I have done a
video before on anxiety but I'll kind of
recap here
so basically when we have a panic attack
it affects us physically the first time
I had a panic attack I was in my teens I
thought I was dying I did not know what
was wrong and when I found out it was a
panic attack I kind of felt silly oh my
god why did I react that way but the way
our body reacts when we have a panic
attack is normal and let me explain so
going back to cavemen types I like to go
back to caveman times we were often
then open to a lot of threats wild
animals maybe a lion coming to get us
and so our body would prepare us for the
fight-or-flight response and the way
that would happen our breathing would
get quicker because we'd be needing more
oxygen to pump our body
but blood pump our blood around our body
to get our muscles ready ready to fight
we would become hyper alert looking
around like paranoid because we needed
to we needed to be on alert to see what
was around us we needed to have all that
energy so we could either fight the lion
or run away from the lion so that's
normal
the problem is you're not in cavemen
times anymore we don't have lions just
coming along to try and eat us there are
different like stresses and things that
can happen that would need our body to
react in that way so for example if we
are walking down a quiet road at night
and we hear footsteps behind us and we
glance behind and maybe Solms walking
down the road they've got a knife or a
weapon and they're speeding up towards
us our body needs to react we need to
either turn around and fight or we need
to run away so our body does that but
here's the thing
when we go into a supermarket and all of
sudden that paranoia kicks in and we
look around everyone's looking at us and
our body starts going like that we don't
we don't need our body to do that that
is not an actual threat that is we do
not need to run away you do not need to
fight but her body has a panic attack
and that's the problem nowadays people
are more stressed they are working like
people are working constantly the
problems about money problems
our mental health in general and all
these things kind of contribute to us
suffering with our anxiety and our
anxiety coming up but really aren't
approp inappropriate times
so like Kate said she's having panic
attacks of really trivial issues it
might be like Kate hasn't said this but
this is something that might have given
me a panic attack
I hear the letterbox cutting is it a
bill is a bill coming through how am I
gonna fourth bill oh my god I've gotta
lose the house I'm gonna have nothing
full-on panic attack it's just a letter
might just be the newspaper local
newspaper being posted but I've had a
panic attack overt and and it is scary
and we don't need to react in that way
even if it is a bill I don't need to
fight or run away but my body reacts
like I do so the best thing that I found
helped me with panic attacks was to my
breathing basically because my body
would immediately my breathing would go
fast
like my heart rate would go fast and for
me just by focus on your breathing
slowing that down it slowed everything
else down and it calmed me I found it
really calming and one side kind of calm
down I could then kind of talk to myself
and say there's nothing to panic about
it was just the letterbox but I couldn't
beat I couldn't tell myself that while I
was having a panic attack but all I had
to think was focus on your breathing
focus slow it down slow it down because
then physically everything else kind of
slows down the sweats would stop my
heart rate would stop going so fast and
I could just really focus my mind on
that one thing so rather than being
hyper alert looking around like at risk'
breathe breathe breathe and I found that
to be the most helpful thing for me when
I had a panic attack I think like the
OCD attacks I'm I should do a video
because you hear people all the time say
oh yeah I love my house clean I'm so OCD
I hear it all the time I've I'm actually
I've said it before I'm really OCD with
my house and I've heard lots of other
people say that and then when I was in
rehab I met a young lad who suffered
with OCD and it really kind of put
things into perspective and maybe think
okay well I haven't actually got OCD I
mean the young lad I'm talking about his
OCD completely took over his life from
walking having to take certain steps in
a certain way going up the stairs having
to take so many up and so many down and
so many up the clay being the washing
has but it was literally constant he
couldn't do anything he couldn't live
life
he actually had borderline as
and it really made me think wow and I
used to think I'm a seat at my house no
actually now I see it like I like it
tidy sometimes it can kind of interfere
in my life but it's not completely taken
over my life I think we can all have
certain these two traits I know one
actually came up to me being kind of odd
I'll explain I'll explain my daughter
who is eight she is going away on a
residential trip her first residential
trip she's going away at a couple of
months I'm really nervous but we've been
told that when our children go on this
trip they need to know how to make their
bed so my daughter's never made not like
I'm not talking about just putting the
cover or like I'm talking about
stripping the duvet put in everything on
you know and kind of starting from
scratch not just all I made the bed this
one so I said to her look we need to
practice and we'll do it so we went in
and we started putting the sheets on the
duvet and this is where I realized how I
have a few little issues and I have to
have the duvet a certain way where the
label is it has to be in the bottom
right or I think something bad is going
to happen to my family and when I put
the cover on I've got to shake it so
many times or I think someone of my
family might die and have saying out
loud it sounds so ridiculous so I'm
making the bed with my daughter and
she's putting it in I realized oh the
labels over this size and I said oh me
me just take it out let's just flip over
and she said why is this not right I
mean Annie what is it would it work
and I thought how can I say no because
you need to label down there or
something Bad's gonna happen to our
family you can't say that I couldn't say
that for her so I had to go on oh yeah
you're fine you're fine just yeah put it
on it's great it's great and I could
literally feel like my heart going as
she's doing it anyway she's put it in a
mouth so we're doing the bottoms up and
then I'm like in just give it a shake
and I see em another which is why it's
done
oh yeah yeah yeah it's done oh my god
and I was literally like freaking help I
couldn't let her see suspect yeah you've
done it great job great job
so she gave that to me and I realized oh
I've got some issues but I think a lot
of us have that I've spoken to a few
people like one by I know he's a yeah
he's like he's okay he's good he's he he
wouldn't class him as having any mental
health issues but when he leaves his
house he has to flick his light switch
like a couple of times but he doesn't
have any other mental health problems
it's that it's not taking over his life
it's just something that he does it's
like a superstition he has to do this
and one that I do if I turn around in a
circle that way I have to turn back or I
think I'm all tangled up inside I feel
like I'm tangled but like I said I think
a lot of us have some of these quirky
things it doesn't mean it is the worst
thing in the world that we have to get
to the bottom of it if it's not really
taking over our life I would just say
just leave it you don't need to be
dealing with that right now if you have
got borderline other mental health
issues they should be your focus
obviously if you feel actually no this
is really getting in the way of my life
then
speak to a doctor about it
and see if you can help there but for
the anxiety I mean I'm on medication for
my anxiety I am on medication for the
depression I was actually watching
something while ago in there saying
people with borderline we get diagnosed
with it might be antidepressants
antipsychotics you know we get treated
with these but actually none of this
medication helps to stop the borderline
and the reason we're treated with this
is because like I said a lot of people
with borderline also have anxiety also
have depression so it's actually these
disorders that are being treated not the
borderline but here's the thing if we
have anxiety if we have depression and
we have borderline if we want to start
learning skills to help us in the
borderline area we need to kinda somehow
lessen the other disorders because if
we're suffering so badly with our
anxiety we don't want to leave the house
or is so depressed we don't want to get
up there's no way we're going to be
going to groups and learning skills to
help with the borderline so we need to
get those under control at least like
take the edge off so then we can get
help with the borderline and learn
skills and stuff so did I answer that
question I think that cave said panic
things over trivial things when we have
borderline our emotion it's also intense
anyway and so something that might seem
trivial to
someone who doesn't have bold line it is
not trivial to us at the time it's not
trivial at all it's important it's a big
deal but then we kind of look back and
think what was that about like I could
have sometimes I used to have panic
attacks over watch like the kids for
dinner my father I don't know what to
cook them on - I can't do it I can't do
it and that's how it used to be and then
looking back I'd be like oh it's only
what shall I make the kids dinner but at
the time it didn't feel like oh what
shall I make because did I oh my god
watch so I might we can state now so
it's kind of understanding that you do
have borderline we do feel things more
so it's things that might seem trivial
to some are not necessarily trivial to
us but also separating the borderline
and the anxiety and trying to get like
the anxiety under control because once
that is under control it is a lot easier
then to find recovery with the
borderline because we can then focus on
that more rather than completely being
taken over by our panic attacks and our
anxiety constantly thinking something's
going to happen well the thing is with
borderline is about one of the traits we
can catastrophize we can have paranoid
thoughts where we think oh my god
something's going to happen I used to
get it all the time if my kids are on a
car journey I think oh my god they're
gonna have a car accident what they
don't make it home and I'd get so
panicked about that and this is actually
stuff that's out of my control
and they felt very real at the time and
and that that part of it that is the
borderline that is the borderline but
that in those two walks can then bring
on intense anxiety which is really
painful so I'm gonna leave that there
guys because I realize I've just chat oh
no no no no
no no I hope your orchid ah bye