I used to feel like I was on a complete high at times – times when I hadn’t actually taken anything. I would be completely hyper – but eventually my mood would crash and it was awful.

Transcript:
hi guys a lady messaged me asking me
about extreme highs I'm not talking high
on drugs or high on alcohol I'm just
talking about the highs that we with
borderline can get because we focus a
lot of the time on the lows basically as
you know borderline personality disorder
is all about our emotions so intense
that they cause all this different
behaviors because there are ways to cope
with these intense emotions so we get
like an extreme we get anxiety extreme
sadness and something that someone might
be like yeah that's had and we like we
just want to die it's so bad uh but we
also get the extreme good hoops it's not
just the negative ones the thing is the
negative ones are the ones that tend to
get us in the most trouble cause us the
most like harms and cause harms to
others but the extreme highs you would
imagine would be great because it's like
free we get free high and we don't have
to take drugs together we can just get
hobby but it's not as easy as that
because it's not believe or not nice
because I know that I struggled with
this for years and years and actually my
extreme highs to get me into trouble
now when I say high I could just wake up
one day look I feel amazing everything's
great but roller and I'll be going a
hundred miles an hour
and I wanted to to everything and
because I felt like that
and he'll I think you get some drugs
it'll be amazing I'm gonna come get some
alcohol will be amazing or and I'd go
and do that or I could be feeling like
fleeing so great that I think I've
fallen in love so amazing because the
feelings are so intense and I'm in such
a good mood and then hours later I crash
my mood crashes and that always happened
I didn't stay high it always did crash
and the crash was always horrible
because I've literally not one from
normal to there I've gone up here past
normal crashed when I was in rehab
actually I remember there was day I was
with my friend there and a girl that I
met in there and we're just talking
about and I went on a high and I was
boom let's go outside let's run around
like like a little child really flying
around running then I was like let's
have a Rollie pollie race so I started
doing somersaults going round and round
and round and the staff must have looked
out the window and thought oh and I got
fooled upstairs and told write your
in-sample we're drug testing it and
obviously it came back negative because
I wasn't on drugs
I was just high and and that happened a
few times but people think I was using
thinking I was drinking and I actually
wasn't and I know with bipolar you can
get the extreme highs and the extreme
lows but they tend to be on someone with
bipolar might be high for weeks and then
on the low for weeks or months or
whatever it's long term my highs well I
was up there for a few hours I'll come
crashing down didn't even have to be
hours I could just be like that for 10
minutes and then just feel like I just
want to die and it was really hard to
cope with and my friends would say but
isn't it good feeling like that because
you're like just feeling so good
but no because it wasn't natural he
didn't feel right I couldn't control it
I couldn't calm myself as I was talking
a million miles an hour and and yeah it
was like out of my control and I I
didn't I didn't like it I didn't like it
at all because it wasn't like don't
actually read normal but and didn't feel
natural I knew something wasn't right
it didn't it felt wrong even though I
felt good and I didn't know yeah I might
have been on a high but I don't know but
I did feel good at the time but at the
back of my mind I always knew it was
going to crash so like what do you do
about that I found for me a DBT again
we've got emotion regulation all those
skills you kind of learn in there yes
they are aimed at sorting us out when
arrant extreme emotions are down there
but they're they talk about regulating
your emotions full stop it's not just
the negative ones
it is the extreme highs as well today I
don't get those extreme highs I can get
extremely happy but it's completely
different like I could be driving the
car one day and then just have like this
wave come over me like god I'm so
grateful like I've got three amazing
children
I feel happy today I don't act out today
I just feel content and I feel real
right joy and happiness insight but with
that I don't go oh good
happy is I because I don't I just feel I
feel good and it's so nice and you guys
can have that too I don't know how many
of you suffer with the extreme highs and
but like I said this lady mentioned it
to me and I was like I've got to do a
video on that because that was a big
thing for me that the kids I know and
yeah that was a big thing for me uh and
like I said it wasn't it wasn't always
pleasant and I'd much rather just be
level with little ups and downs then I
what we do when we're really suffering
with our borderline so I will leave that
there today guys and I should be back
next week have a lovely weekend
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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