hi guys today I'm doing video requests
from Charlie and she asked me about
borderline personality disorder and
impulse control when we fly off with
emotion anything fell it later
and often when we think about it later
we really regret it but at the time you
just don't think we just do so how do we
stop that my last video I did I talked
about not yelling learning to control
their yelling screaming uncontrollable
crying and I kind of went into a little
bit of detail about DBT and it's kind of
very similar for this when we fly off
the handle with emotion basically it's
because again we have hit crisis point
we are just feeling this surge of
emotions that we cannot control
we cannot regulate they are a lot more
intense than the average person who
doesn't have borderline and so when they
hit us they are so extremely painful we
lash out and it's not until everything's
going to calm down that we think why did
I do that and often we will feel guilty
we feel remorseful shamed at the way
we've carried on so if we have all these
negative feelings when we do something
why hours later
do we do it again and then the next day
we'll do it again and it is because we
have borderline and we cannot control
our emotions this is something we need
to learn to do which is possible through
different therapies I talked mainly
about DBT and the reason for that is
because I did DBT and it worked for me I
know lots of other people like those in
the group and most people there that it
worked for it worked
was they did their homework every week
they practiced the skills that's the
most important thing practicing the
skills and and the people that I didn't
work so much for people I think maybe
they went in Oh mind you I went in with
the head on me that this isn't going to
work
nothing's worked before why is this
going to be different um but then I
decided to be open-minded
and give it a go and practice the skills
and and I swear by it I think if you
want it enough you can have it
recovery is yours but it we have to put
some work in but it's worth it because
we get something at the end we get
freedom
we are not controlled by our emotions
but we can have a list start living a
lovely life and where we're not in
constant emotional pain so I very much
say when you're flying off the handle
and face we have reached crisis point
and that is where we need skills we need
distress tolerance we need to
self-soothe learning to regulate our
emotions will help not necessarily once
you've hit crisis point huh because once
we're there were there once we're at
cross this point we need to learn to
tolerate their distress so that's where
distress tolerance comes in before we
even get there we can do emotion
regulation and start learning to
regulate those emotions it won't happen
straightaway we have to work with it and
just don't give up don't think well a
week or two in this isn't working or a
month or two and this isn't working I
did DBT for two years um and I very much
found what you get out you put in when I
tended to not do my homework and not
really listen when I was there or
participate
I didn't feel I was getting much back
but when I made the conscious decision
but I'm giving you this my all because
my life depends on this and I did do
that then I started seeing changes and
reaping the rewards basically and my
mind's gone blank that my mind always
does that doesn't happen I'm a
buh-buh-buh-buh-buh buhbuh and yeah
under my playlist the solutions I have
DBT videos that you may find helpful you
may not that's okay
you may want to watch them you may not
that's okay to say and I think I'm gonna
just have to leave it there because my
mind is gone completely
yeah Oh ever so quickly yeah I say my
play is the solutions because that's
really important to me when I set up
this channel it was very good
sitting and talking about the doom and
gloom and how bad things can be but if
you're watching this and you have
borderline you already know the reason I
do tell stories of my past is because
it's sometimes nice to be able to watch
someone else and go oh my god that's
what I do I'm not alone and I wanted
people to be able to relate and know if
they're not alone in this but my partner
he's outside where is he hiding
he's not well at the moment so yeah um
so it's very good doing that I wanted
people to relate but I also want to be
like but that's not it we have solutions
to these problems and if we use these
solutions you can get well and I think
that's really really important because
we need hope because
it's big part of our recovery if we
don't have it and we just give up we're
not going to do anything about it and
the thing is I've been in the depths of
despair I've been back when it was so
painful I did not want to be here but
I've come out the other side and am I
and I know you guys can have it too and
I'm really passionate about this
I love getting your video requests I'm
sorry I don't really reply to people
anymore and it's not because I don't
want to because I really miss replying
to everyone but I literally just don't
have time
I am rushed off my feet from like 5:00
a.m. the baby has started waking up I am
um and whereas before she would
obviously wake but I was breastfeeding
so it's quite easy just to plunk her on
ha ha now I've got to go downstairs and
make a bottle and I just feel so drained
at the minute but yeah thus I didn't get
to straighten my hair and I haven't been
able to the past few days huh but
nevermind that's minor so the grand
scheme of things
me having dodgy hair is fine I suppose
and so where was I yeah I'm really
really passionate about this because
like I've said a million times before
and I probably bore you with it but I
used to think there was no hope and
there was no way out and I was going to
be living like that forever and I
couldn't bear it because it's so painful
so painful and and I found recovery and
I came out the other side and that's why
I want to do this and say to all of you
like there's a way out trust me trust me
there is a way out of this and you will
be okay you'll be more than okay
because when we do come out we come out
so much stronger I mean you might not
believe it but if you have borderline
you are strong because not many people
can live like with the way we live with
the pain that we feel constantly so
without even realizing I know we break
down and we can self-harm and to rule
those things and so it makes us think
we're not strong but we really really
are and so just hang on in there and
keep going and I promise you it can be
okay what you get out you what you put
in you get our help so I'm going to
leave it there my love Lisa come walking
right mm-hmm
have a nice week love you all bye