but it's there I just had someone get my
little boy he's waking up usually he is
not here on a Friday
he's with daddy but daddy's not feeling
well so he's asleep in the other room
you were with me aren't you yes today
we're gonna do a video on self-esteem a
lady called Anita asked me how did I
build my self-esteem hey y'all can you
see yourself how did I pull my
self-esteem from rock bottom to where it
is today and my first dance would be
really really lonely it did not happen
overnight but it's achieved before
anyone can build their self-esteem so
what is self esteem basically it's what
we think of ourselves how we feel about
ourselves our beliefs our thoughts if
you have low self-esteem
you will be having negative thoughts
about yourself negative beliefs about
yourself where does self esteem stem
from it can come from abuse or neglect
in childhood hello it could be from
being with an abusive partner who puts
you down all the time it could be from
being in poor physical health for a long
time I think nowadays with social media
where we turn on our computers or our
phone and you're constantly bombarded
with beautiful women and beautiful men
living a life of luxury everything that
we don't have is very easy to feel less
than I think that's why we're getting a
lot of teenagers nowadays more and more
depressed suffering with anxiety not
being good enough because we kind of
look at these pictures and take them as
they are we forget they have been
photoshopped out and they um we just
think that's it that's real love and
it's not real life so self-esteem can
like low self-esteem can come from
having a mental health problem but also
mental health problems can come from
having low self-esteem
so what we need to do to build our
self-esteem is look at you're putting me
off my video nice to be here right so
basically we need to look at what are
our thoughts what are rap leaks why do
we think this why and question it what
evidence do we have I mean a lot of our
beliefs they're just they're
basically
and the way I say that is if I ever sat
here with a friend would I sit and talk
to her
the way I internally talk to myself
would I say it and say cut ruler King
Reef today
oh no don't go for that job you'll never
get it you're not clever enough I know
everyone will laugh at you you know we
wouldn't do that but yet we talk to
ourselves like this constantly and I
would say to you get writing start
writing down all your positives now when
I have to do this in treatment
when I had to do this in treatment I was
literally couldn't think of anything
nice really to say but I got there in
the end it was like you're a kind friend
you're a nice mom you love your children
and it was things like that but it
doesn't matter start small and just
start adding things to your list
what is this and start having things to
your list and then we through your list
and start saying those things to
yourself so it could be you have nice
hair you have nice eyes you are a good
friend you are funny or whatever and
replace those negative comments with the
positive comments
because we just constant oh my doing
sorry this video is a bit all over the
place but I do want to do its job and
yes we've got to stop comparing
ourselves to others because we have got
to strive to be the best person that we
can be not like the best person someone
else's because so often we strive to be
like someone else but actually we're all
unique we're all different so there's no
point in trying to be like someone else
just be the best you that you can be and
focus on where there are always things
we can do to boost our self-esteem we
can look at who we hang around with who
is in our lives are they good for us
do they make us feel good about
ourselves or are we with a friend that
is constantly criticizing us a family
member that is constantly criticizing us
because if you're not gonna stay hanging
around with someone like that
it's not gonna do your self esteem any
favors at all
so sometimes we've kinda got your heart
and cut people out that are not good for
us and do things that you enjoy start
hoppy things that make you feel good
then make you feel good about yourself
what are you doing
sorry no and yeah do a hobby hobby and
blah when you stick this when you start
something and you actually stick to
something it starts making you feel
really good about yourself not just um
like a hobbit just say I'm saying do
something for you but also do speaking
for someone else there might be a little
old man or lady that lives down the road
bake them a cake
I'm just drop a pie you could do
volunteer work because I guarantee you
doing stuff for other people back and
build our self-esteem because we're
doing something for others it may gives
us a purpose I would also say start
setting yourself goals like small goals
not big fat goals big goals like him
like what Clippy I am going to go for a
run once a week or I'm going to read a
book a week or I'm going to sign up to a
cookery class like nothing that's got
loads of pressure on nothing that you
can really fail at because that's the
last thing we need to put so much
pressure on ourselves that we then fail
because they're now so Christine takes a
knock and we end up feeling so much
worse and well it's my phone during what
is it doing this then what is it doing
what is it doing yes well they just
broke it looks like
um yes assessment goals talk nicely to
yourself and when you go to start saying
those negative things to yourself to
stop yourself and be like Oh would I say
this to a friend because chances are you
wouldn't really mean to ourselves like
really mean and constantly and if we did
have a friend and we talked so then like
we talked to ourselves constantly they
would have really low self-esteem as
well and so there are loads if and
things you can do to start building that
it is it's not something that just
happens overnight think you ain't get
enough it's not something that happens
overnight don't want daddy up em but
it's something we just have to keep
working on and working on and working on
it because you know what you owe it to
yourselves no one deserves to feel like
that all the time and have that horrid
feeling and hating themselves we're all
different were all unique and it's
accepting that and accepting ourselves
that we are and learning to like
ourselves to start with them not so I'm
going to love yourself to start with
just learn to like yourself and then the
rest will start falling into place so
sorry that video is all over the place
it's look dance around now but um
everything you name is dinosaur like
alright mother please take care bye