Today I discuss what is going on for me at the moment – catastrophising over two kittens that I don’t even have yet!

hi I'm lovely is happy Friday today I'm
going to talk about catastrophizing and
the reason I am talking about this is
that I have been catastrophizing a lot
recently basically a year ago last year
2017 Amelia my eldest she asked me if
she could have the kitten and growing up
I have two kittens cats and they were
amazing so I said yes I would get her
one by the end of the year but as the
year went on I realized Lots he was
really small and I just didn't think I
was able to cope so I made excuses and
said next year and now it is next year
and she asks me pretty much every day
when am I getting my kisum and I say
well it could be anywhere in 2018 it
might be in December like the last day
of December but I decided I thought
right okay I'm gonna go and look up
kittens and I found a lady she had
kittens that are going to be ready at
the end of April and I went to see them
and there was so cute there was a there
was eight kittens and they were just all
so adorable and and I chose to have two
black ones because growing up I had two
black ones and maybe I'm trying to
replicate that I don't know that I said
I would have them so I went see them
they were so cute and I got home and
then I started freaking out like oh my
god I'm gonna be taking visit these
little kittens away from their mom and I
mean it really really affects me because
I think what if someone took my babies
away from me duh how painful it would be
how can I do that to this cat even
though these kittens are going to be
sold anyway but this is how my mind says
like I'm the evil one coming in but
that's why I thought I want to because
then at least they've got each other and
I'm not just bringing one away and the
lady was lovely like I phoned her I was
like can I come and see them again and
she has said I can see them as much as I
want which will be good for the
transition stage because then hopefully
they'll be used to me
so I went to see them today so let me
show you the queue today so they are so
cute but then I started looking at the
other kittens and thinking what if I
should have I'm meant to be with one of
the other kittens and I've shits in the
wrong ones and then I'm thinking oh my
god you're such an evil person because
they're not you haven't even got them
and you're already thinking of different
kittens you're an evil person and I want
to have all eight kittens but here's the
thing with female cats apparently it's
quite cruel not to let them have a
litter and so out of the eight cats
there's six boys and two girls so if I
if I was going to have eight I would
have six boys and two girls and I
wouldn't want to be cruel so I would
have to let the two girls have a litter
and I wouldn't be able to give the
kittens away so I would then have two
sets of litters and my cats and then if
any of those got litters of girls I'd
have to let them have a litter and
before I know it I'm gonna have a
thousand cats and be a completely crazy
cat lady so I can't have eight cats what
my children don't know that I've chosen
two kittens I'm going to surprise them
Lottie did go with me today and it was
really cute but now now my fear you see
I kind of like the house quite neat and
tidy I feel chaotic when it's not
obviously with four children the house
is never clean a tidy because they trash
it really easy but with kittens now I'm
gonna have added mess and
that's kind of freaking me out but
here's the thing that's freaking me the
most it's what if one of them dies what
if one of them gets run over what if one
of the neighbors shoots them like I
don't know what neighbor would shoot
them but this is what's going through my
I'm completely catastrophizing
everything and freaking out about it and
I just want to have all the cats and CID
I like the Sphinx cats that are
completely bald I think they're amazing
as so cute and there's no hair and they
stay indoors so I could protect them in
my little bubble and not have hair
everywhere but my little girls looked at
it and was like that is the obvious cat
I have ever seen
there's no way we're getting one I saw
something devastated but these two
kittens are so cute and they will be
named after characters in Harry Potter
because my kids are completely Harry
Potter mad at me almost don't just run
and so I join you said Emilia yesterday
well why don't we call the cat
you-know-who because they obviously Lord
they call him you-know-who because
they're too scared to say his name and
Emilia loved that so one of them is
possibly going to be called you-know-who
not quite sure on the other one I was he
talking about Lord Baltimore is it weird
that I find him attractive that he he's
got a snake fish it's that is that weird
a little bit because I know it's refined
that does it but I like him as Lord
Voldemort maybe it's the power and the
evil kind of thing anywho right so yeah
catastrophizing I'm absolutely
catastrophizing about these kittens and
here's the thing often when you crisis
build about something or eucatastrophe
is about something it's usually because
you have something else going on
and I'm trying to think like I don't
feel stressed and yeah I have got a lot
on obviously because I'm writing the
book but yeah I am I don't know what
else it is but I am actually trying to
use math skills I say that because I
always say like one of the ways we can
manage our emotions is check we're not
having too much sugar
Dada check out dire and hi javi and a
lot of chocolate recently and I was
starting to get back into exercise but
that's going to stop the past week as
well but I do try to use distraction
techniques that is like my main thing
because I find my mind is racing Racing
racing about these goddamn kittens and
so I do try to distract and keep myself
busy luckily with writing the book that
keeps me really really really busy which
is great and it's coming along really
really well I think you might read and
say what pile of rubbish but I feel that
it is coming along nicely I've kind of
run out of things to say today I hadn't
planned this video at all because it was
this morning usually I do the school run
I come home and I do my video but I had
to get up and see the kittens again and
yeah so I didn't plan the video at all
by thought I did want to do a video
because it's Friday I think I'll leave
that there if I think of a better topic
to see I might do another one on Monday
because I know this was just a bit but
yeah that's kind of what's been going on
for me the mad cat lady
yeah I'll leave that there guys I hope
you have a wonderful weekend and I will
possibly be back on Monday no I love you
all bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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