A lot of us can find ourselves in a vicious cycle of being in and out of hospitals – how do we break this cycle?

hi guys I apologize again that I wasn't
here last week I let my basically I was
really ill and then I start feeling
better I did my video I told you I was
ill and I was feeling better and the
next day I was like I'm so far
unable to move and I've been so ill all
week and so were my two girls actually
my daughter Amelia was off and little
lot he's been really poorly as well I
went to the doctor yesterday I have
chest infection and a throat infection
and I'm on antibiotics now so hopefully
all is good and I am feeling literally a
million times better than I was
yesterday I slept all day yesterday but
anyway um today I'm doing video request
from Riya Riya and Riya basically asked
me about what do you do when you're
always in a crisis you're going in and
out of hospitals in and out VNA
constantly finding the crisis team how
do you break that cycle up until
recently a few months ago I was reading
something actually and they were saying
like a lot of the professionals I think
like Marsha Linehan who developed DBT um
she and others believe that BPD patients
shouldn't be admitted on to a mental
health ward in a crisis that's like wow
like why's that and they said basically
like like this young lady said it can
become a vicious cycle
we have crisis we go in somewhere and we
can be watched and protected for a
little time but it's not real life and
how are we ever gonna learn to cope if
every time we have a crisis we are taken
into hospital so their view is that
we've got to learn to cope with the
crisis by using
crisis survival skills and but here's
the thing I was thinking about this and
there are times like when we are so bad
and things are so bad that we kinda do
need to be protected I completely get
what they're saying but I know
especially for family members I think
because I know back when I was on a
mental health or prior to that I had
been attempting suicide meant like
multiple times I was literally on
self-destruct mode and my mom was just
living in this fear that she was going
to lose her daughter so when I got
admitted on to a mental health ward it
was a chance for her to think right okay
my daughter's safe for now she is safe
and and and I was I was safe and the
good thing for me about going on to the
mental health world was actually that I
got the diagnosis of borderline and
because I've talked in other videos it's
a lot of us go years and years without
ever getting diagnosed because it's
quite difficult for someone who only
sees us like for half an hour or or that
every few months to say oh this is what
you have but when I was on the mental
health ward they were able to like
monitor me over a period of months and
say she has pulled one personality
disorder so I the families especially
especially like if you've got young son
or a young daughter and they are
themself destroyed you want to know they
are protected so I don't necessarily
believe that they shouldn't people with
BPD should not be admitted because I
think there are times when it's really
really necessary and maybe that is if
the person is continuing again again and
again on a self-destructive path to say
okay let's keep them safe for a little
bit if it's a one-off crisis
maybe you don't need to go onto a thing
because here's the thing that I do get
that they're saying is it's not I'm sure
I've just said this actually it's not um
real life is it if every time we had a
crisis we went on to a mental health
ward that that's not helping us in the
long run because we can then leave the
mental health ward go home but nothing's
changed the problem is it's very easy to
for professionals to say you know I we
don't believe they should go into a
mental health ward we think they should
learn how to cope in a crisis and use
crisis survival skills but not everyone
has crisis survival skills and all of us
have been taught of coping skills so in
those circumstances I think oh yeah they
need to be kept safe they haven't gotten
coping skills and maybe when they are on
a mental health ward this is the time to
start teaching them some coping skills
so when they leave they are better
prepared for next time because here's
the thing with BPD like that you guys
know and I know it is like this we're on
an emotional roller coaster constantly
and it's one crisis after another and
another and part of that is because we
can't regulate our emotions we are so
freaking sensitive that something that
might not bother someone else destroys
us and we crisis we need help the only
way that we can stop this cycle is by
getting the relevant help and learning
skills that I've talked about DBT
DBT skills you've got distress tolerance
which teaches you how to cope in a
crisis you have the emotion regulation
where you can start to regulate your
emotions so they're less like this but
again not everyone has access to this
not everyone has access to DBT but there
is the internet and there is lots of
information on there about skills and I
would say to people look up the skills
and just hop practice in them I know
it's not the same as doing a little
full-on DBT course but practice the
skills because at least then you have
something that you can put in place when
you next have a crisis and like I always
the more you practice the more you'll
see at work and because if you've only
practiced something once and then you
have a crisis and you try to do it your
brain is going to immediately go to your
old coping skills because we have a
little neuro high I love talking about
the frame and I say I do a brain
workshop but I know I haven't done it
but I'm just literally so busy and I
don't want to get it wrong but anyway so
we have neural pathways that are
strengthened or lessened or lessen
weakened so if in a crisis we go news
drugs that neural pathway gets bigger
and bigger every time we use it so and
then just say we have another neural
pathway and we have a distress tolerance
skill but that's not very strong pathway
next time we have a crisis our brain
will zip down the good big fat neural
pathway and do what we used to doing and
that's why we have to strengthen this
neural pathway my brain video yeah so it
is all about learning skills
to break this cycle and learning to cope
and tolerate the distress basically
because if we just go off to a hospital
every time we're not actually tolerating
the distress so I'm gonna leave that
there I will be back next Friday because
I'm still writing my book hmm
I've done 20,000 words ich but that's
pretty much what I've done last week I
haven't been able to do anything this
week because I felt so rough but yeah
I'm getting there I'm getting there I
will leave that there guys and I will be
back next week I love you all
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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