hi guys it's nearly Christmas
I'm sure loads we were really busy or
really stressed well really happy
emotions are always very high at this
time of year I have got my partner down
there playing the Xbox I've just done a
video actually and he sat there and said
why don't you talk about the mind-body
connection when you're talking about
these things so I was wondering if he
wanted to do a video why didn't you just
say ever so quickly about the mind-body
connection cameras on you babe give a
wave give a wave was this you're talking
about mind-body connection come on he's
advising me on my videos and yet he
won't get his butt down here to do one a
silent partner well you weren't very
silent when I press stop you like why
didn't you do this why don't you do that
told him right that's right today I am
following on from my last video talking
about if you're in a crisis because I
want you guys to stay safe over
Christmas and I did improve the moment
which is a DBT skill and today I'm gonna
do another DBT skill that can be used to
help you cope and survive in a time of
crisis and the one I'm doing today is
distraction wise mind accepts let me
there so we've got xx again this is
going to be quite a short video because
I'm not really gonna go into later depth
because in my playlist called the
solutions I have done these videos
before I have done the DBT skill bidding
video so if you want kind of more
knowledge about them and go and have a
look in that playlist so we will start
with a which leaders activities now
activities are different for everyone
you know what activities you do and what
you don't do
I tend
find physical activities because
basically we want to distract ourselves
and I find often in a time of crisis
like how blood is pumping and we like
hot going it's really really helpful
when you let out that energy and that
could be go and punch a pillow like mad
scream into a pillow it could be going
for a run it could be going for a bike
ride it could be just going for a walk
could be skipping for just doing an
activity it doesn't have to be physical
activity but I tend to find his goal
ones do help see contributing
contributing is when you're doing
something for someone else it could be
going and working doing voluntary in a
homeless shelter Food Bank going and
visiting children in a hospital over the
Christmas period and it might be you
have an old neighbor that's on their own
at Christmas and you bake them a cake
and you bring it round to them but often
when we do something nice for someone
else it kind of takes us out of our own
head and it builds our self-esteem and
makes us feel good and makes us feel
worthwhile and that we're doing
something nice see is comparisons this
is where we compare like okay we think
we've got it bad but what about the
people that might not have a home over
Christmas people in countries where
there's a drought and there is just no
food places where they've got had a
natural disaster and they've lost
everything and when we kind of put into
that context we can see actually we can
it be okay I mean these people are going
to devastating devastating things and
they get through it we can get through
it even if we don't feel strong we have
it within us
that we can be and we will get through
it
e is emotions so how do you distract
your emotion by trying to change that
emotion so it might be listening to your
favorite song putting your earphone
headphones in and just listening to
music I would say don't listen to sad
music or music that remind you of
something someone in your past because
chances are that'll just heighten the
emotion that you already have and we're
looking to change it so happy upbeat
music it might be watching something
funny
I love stand-up comedy of what loads of
the stand-up DVDs putting something on
showing on YouTube and watching your
funny comedian watching the funny
comedians and laughing so that would
distract them push them away is simply
that thinking right I'm not thinking
about this right now
I will deal with it later I do not have
to do it right now and kind of push
those feelings away for the time being
is thoughts so how can you just force
distract you now the one thing I only do
sounds quite geeky but I start doing
mathematical sums in my head so 3 + 5 8
11 + 2 13 really basic science but if
you're doing that and you keep
questioning and giving yourself with
some a thumb a some your mind is
occupied and it's being distracted from
what is going on and it might be the
number plate game looking at number
plates and making a game out of it like
the letters where the letters on they're
making a sentence using those letters it
might be sitting down and actually doing
something like Sudoku or a word search
thing that is just gonna take your
thoughts you're depressing horrible
thoughts and focus them on something
else and so long as you'll focus on
something else you can't think about
that thing they're negative horrible
stuff and I always find that like really
really helps me and final one is senses
and that is our five senses using our
five senses to distract and our five
senses are seeing hearing smelling
touching tasting my partner just told me
and look at him he's not well say hi oh
he's so poorly
he's been poorly for two weeks thank God
me and the kids don't have it see
comparing I'm alright
senses seeing hearing touching tasting
smelling because different senses work
well for different people so seeing it
might be going out and looking nice
things looking at nature going into
sitting looking at the sea or a river or
a pond or animals or whatever hearing
listen to music or it might be just
sitting in silence and run out here see
what things you can hear laughs I can
hear someone's car door go I can hear
people laughing outside and really
focusing on all the different things and
again that would distract your mind
smelling I think I said in my last one
go to a bakery and smell the bread I
know you might feel a bit daft doing
that and but I know like in my house I
can burn candles I like the spice
cinnamon spice mulled wine kind of
candles that smell Christmassy and
lovely it might be the smell of coffee
you might like to bake a cake and it's
with cake smell lovely in the house and
tasting could be eating the cake
tasting something nice having a little
tree it might be like putting something
cold like an ice cube in your mouth
that's really cold to distract you and
touching some people might like have a
little blankie that they can play with
it might be a stress ball it might be a
pigeon spinner it might be a big cushion
or it might be if you've got pet and
animal stroking you around them all that
is so soothing so it's kind of finding
what works for you I explained it in the
other one about neural pathways and how
often in a time of crisis we will go to
the first thing that we've used every
time and it might be drink it might be
at drugs it might be spending money it
might be sex it might be gambling but
this is about teaching new helpful
skills rather than those really
unhelpful ones that we used as coping
mechanisms and the way we make these
become natural to us and we're more
inclined to use them in the time of
crisis is if we practice them because if
we don't practice them they're going to
seem really alien to us so it's about
practicing now practicing them when
you're not in a crisis and the more you
do it the more you'll build that new
neural pathway and and when you're in a
crisis you look one-zip down that new
neural pathway as opposed to the old one
because you will stop yourself using the
old one so do practice them because like
I said I want you guys to stay safe over
Christmas and New Year New Year was
never ever a good time for me and I
always spent New Year's Day in a
hospital and I don't want that for any
of you because do you know what this is
actually it's like that week isn't it at
the end of December is that one week and
that's it
and then we're into the New Year so you
just need to get through this little bit
of time and you
can do it I have faith that every single
one of you can do it even if you
sometimes say I can't do it I'm not
strong enough you are strong enough and
you will get through this but it's using
these techniques that I'm telling you
distracting improving the moment
planning ahead if you've got difficult
family members of things what you're
going to say how you can deal with
things I didn't mention in that video
like last time if you have a family
member that is just outright rude rather
than just biting and arguing back and if
they're turning is just something really
nasty just take a deep breath and go for
a walk take some time out to clear your
head and then when you come back maybe
just avoid that family member and sit
and talk to others so there are plenty
of things you can do if if you really
feel you are desperate you are in a time
of crisis phone the emergency services
phone the mental health line phone the
Samaritans they are people you can call
you do not need to struggle by on your
own but hopefully it doesn't come to
that hopefully you will breeze through
it it will all be over we'll be into
2018 and we will all have a fantastic
year so I'm sending you loads and loads
love guys I believe this is my last
video before Christmas so I wish you all
a very very Merry Christmas and Happy
New Year