How do you gently but firmly let someone with BPD know that they need to try and stop getting your attention? Tgis very much depends on the relationship you have with the person with BPD and in what way they are causing you to feel as if you have had enough.

hey guys today I am doing a video
request from MF hi MF who asked me how
do you gently but firmly let someone
with BPD know they need to give up
trying to get your attention now it's
difficult one and I've kind of got two
answers actually and the reason for that
is it will apply differently depending
on your relationship with the person
with BPD so if it's a family member or
loved one you cannot want to be a lot
more sensitive because we are overly
our emotions are intense we have a fear
of abandonment we have a low self-image
etc so I've done a video before on
boundaries and I suppose this would fall
into boundary setting boundaries so if
for example your loved one is contacting
you multiple times a day and you are not
able to get on with your day or focus on
anything else and it's starting to
actually impact and interfere with your
daily life you have a right to have a
boundary in place the way you've set
here is doing it in a sympathetic and
compassionate way sitting that them down
and saying I know you need to talk to me
Lance but I find that I can't focus on
my work I'm more than happy to talk to
you but I can't answer your phone I
answer the phone every time you call
something along those lines you're being
sympathetic but you're putting a
boundary in place and then if they
continue to call you my signal misses
sorry I can't talk to you right now
I'll call you later or I'll call you
tomorrow or I'll call you Wednesday or
whatever but that's how you're doing but
the reason I've got two R's is because
MF also wrote in her coming
that she has met a woman I think this
woman with BPD just for 10 minutes she
can't even remember the girl's name and
the girl is phoned her 31 times within 4
hours the girl with BPD has also started
writing mean comments about her blocking
her then unblocking her adding her to
trap groups and mm said I don't want to
block her but I don't know how to deal
with this now
the fact that you've met her for 10
minutes and you don't know her name and
so you haven't got that close emotional
relationship this girl actually sounds
like she's been quite toxic the fact
that she's writing me messages about you
and then blocking you and I'm blocking
you and you deserve to be treated better
yes she may have borderline personality
disorder and this is something that we
don't choose to have but it does not
mean you therefore have to put up with
this treatment if someone is treating
you like this and especially if you
don't really know them my advice would
be to send a message and say look I've
got a lot going on right now I'm really
sorry I can't answer your calls or ever
if you it goes further and they
continued to write nasty things block
them you know I would say that to anyone
to people that don't have BPD or people
that do beep eat have BPD if someone is
toxic and someone is interfering with
your life and disrespecting you you have
every right to cut them out your life
you don't have to feel sorry for them
because what they are doing their
behavior is wrong and you're fortunate
enough that you actually don't have that
close attachment because if it was loved
one obviously you'd be a lot closer and
it would be different you would deal
with it in a different way I would still
say you need to set boundaries you do
not deserve to be treated like this
but I might not say block them if it's a
family member but if it got to a point
where you can't take anymore
then I would say block them cuz like I
said you don't deserve that and if you
need to cut someone out of your life you
need to cut them out your life because
you need to protect yourself because you
deserve that that's all for today guys
love you loads
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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