hi guys today I'm going to do a request
from someone called weakling I must stop
there I have no idea weakling why you
were called yourself this and I might be
completely wrong but if you have because
you suffer with borderline or you suffer
with your mental health I am here to
tell you you are certainly not weak
you're strong strong strong people with
BPD people mental health we are strong
we are fighters we are worried is and we
have to be people that don't have mental
health problems if they were to spend a
day in our shoes I do not think they
would last like we lost so yeah I felt I
should say that but I might be
completely wrong it might be your
surname who knows so anyway right the
request was do love and connections feel
weaker during recovery as you're trying
to move away from codependent
connections and have healthy ones and to
do the healthier connections then not
feel as strong and I think that's a
great question because I had that fear I
was like I hated all the negative parts
that borderline bought into my life but
believe it or not there are some
positives to have a borderline and the
strong connections the deep deep love
that we feel is one of the positive ones
so the last thing we want is to come in
to say recovery and not have that
passion that I just love this person and
I'm here to tell you that it doesn't go
away low the good thing with recovery is
we can learn to manage our emotions but
why would we try and lessen our good
emotions we wouldn't so that's not
something we really focus on yes we try
to pull away from the codependent
relationships and I used to think that
co-dependent relationships were great
how we both need each other and we're so
in love and it's only now that I'm in
recovery that I look back and think oh
my god that was so unhealthy and but I
get the fear behind it and like I was
saying we come into recovery and we
manage all those intense negative
emotions something that's going to guess
into trouble when we're so sad we want
to self-harm always so angry you want to
fight someone and we learn to kind of
control that but I love love love love
my children my love my children is so
intense and it's just as intense now as
it always has been my love for my
partner I love love love love my partner
when I got with my partner it was my BP
he was pretty out of control and I loved
loved loved him one minute and he was
the best for ages and ages and then one
day he came crashing down and I decided
I didn't like him and all that black and
white thinking the splitting I did all
that now I get love love love love love
it doesn't come crashing down I manage
my BPD so I don't have big screaming
matches I don't go smashing things up or
hurting myself for acting impulsively
but I've still got those intense
feelings like really fancy him and I
still get now and I think that's one of
the positive
or VPD is that we do get these intense
emotions and the good ones are fantastic
and no it doesn't go away again in the
beginning I think myself and my partner
without me even realizing we had quite a
codependent relationship we literally
did everything together and and he moved
out and it was such a wrench me because
I was like oh my god I felt like I was
half the person like because I felt
together we were a whole and but like I
said I came I was recovering and
learning to manage the BPD and I got
some independence and now we very much
have a separate lives and rather than
thinking half and half we make a hole I
CSS I'm one person he's one person
together way too in that so much better
and yes I still get the intense feelings
he can ever take me at times but isn't
that normal I got keep my voice down um
but yeah and like I said with my kids
that intense intense love and so no i do
not think the love and the connections
feel weaker possibly when you first say
come out of a codependent relationship
and your first coming into recovery and
you're learning your skills for sure
maybe they do to start with because
you're so used to this codependent
relationship that all of a sudden you're
on your own and like i said i kinda just
felt like i was half the person but
you've got give it time and you're not
just going to feel fantastic straight
away and have all those great feelings
because of recovery unfortunately isn't
a walk in the park we have to put effort
into it
and while we're doing that and we're
focusing on our relationship some of the
relationships can seem like perhaps they
are weaker because all our energy is or
should be focused on our recovery but
once we have that under our belt and we
have those skills in place and we
learning to manage it that's when we
rebuild our relationship we rebuild the
fractured relationships that kind of
destroyed when we're in the madness I
suppose but um yeah it is just giving it
give it some time and no the good
feelings don't they don't just go and
there in fact so much better because now
whereas before say this was my baseline
and I was up here hi downhill Oh up here
hide down here low now I'm just like I'm
a b-side and I get high every now and
again my intense feelings but I don't
get this drop and it's so much better I
suppose as well from doing that run a
baseline to say we've had a high then we
come right down low when we cannot high
again it possibly feels so much higher
because we've come down from rock bottom
to feeling like SAT alone clip of the
world but it's not like I would rather
go from here to here then down here to
here so yes that feels like you're
getting higher and higher and higher and
higher okay as opposed to this but
you're still getting just as high but
you just haven't got there mmm bet if
that makes sense so I'm going to leave
that there guys I'm going to try and do
not video babe uses steal you um yeah we
get on with another video hope you all
well love your loads okay