I HATED therapy to start with so I  understand how others feel regarding this.  Here I tell my story and how therapy can help everyone.  I believe we can all take something out of therapy no matter how big or small – but how much you put in effects how much you get out.

hi my lovelies um I have just pressed go
like record and glanced down and realize
my face is really shiny yeah it's really
hot here um I live on the south coast of
the UK and it's really really hot
probably to some countries it might not
be that hot it's 31 degrees here but for
here is it's hot and it's not like we're
holiday and we can lounge by pool and
enjoy it we still have housework to do
work to do kids to look after they still
need previewing apparently and so yes I
have a shiny face so I've just pressed
record and I thought I've run upstairs
and just held on the face but I'm too
hot and bothered I'm not going to so I'm
afraid you got to put up with shiny face
today right I am doing a video request
from Leanne who asked me
hi Leanne by the way I think LeAnn has
poor children as well just let me and
yet she asked me does therapy work for
everyone and what if you don't like
therapy because not many of us do
because therapy is often group therapy
it's not just us there's of people and
as we suffer with our mental health
we're not good with people
we don't do well when other people are
around us so what do you do like you
desperately desperately want to get well
but you can't face sitting with the
group for other people what your options
now I was very much in this situation
when I had to do I had to do numerous
therapies I had to do and
anger management was I think 18 or 19
when I did anger management I hadn't had
the diagnosis of BPD then but I was very
angry person getting in a lot of fights
and it was recommended by my doctor that
I do so I went along and but didn't want
to be there I wasn't good with people
and so my answer at the time by the way
I solved this problem was I would get
drunk and go along therapy drugged not
good people not good idea so I hated it
and then DBT came up and again I did not
want to go I just didn't and when I did
DBT however I did not get drunk to go
along and do my therapy I think had I
done that it's quite strict the rules
and regulations and had they smelled
alcohol on me
I would have been kicked off and I
didn't I did want to do it I did want to
get well I was fed up feeling the way
that I felt and so I didn't get drunk
and I kinda I had to force myself to go
every week to start with every week I
did not want to go I did not want to
walk into a room full of strangers and
sit there and discuss my problems I
couldn't think of anything worse but I
did it and I think that's what we've got
to do we have to sometimes face our fear
now my advice to you I would say would
be just think how you feel your feared
up don't want to go to therapy don't
want to sit with a bunch of strangers
don't want to be sharing anything about
yourself to anyone I'll head alone a
group of strangers
you're feeling like that but so is
everyone else in that room if you asked
every single person in that room did you
want to come today I'm pretty sure most
of them 99% of them would say no why
because they feel exactly how you feel
to them you're the stranger and they
don't want to share things with you just
like you don't want to share things with
them and I know that doesn't change the
way you feel but at least no one you are
not alone and - they're as scared as you
are you're all in this together out what
I found when I faced my fear and I went
along for weeks and weeks at weeks I did
not want to go and but eventually like
we didn't go in on the first therapy
session and say at this age our
self-harm jaw suffered with bulimia
yells and a drug addict da-da-da-da-da
that doesn't happen we built up the
trust slowly so the first session I
don't think I talked which is pretty
unlike me so I don't adopt but I didn't
I didn't talk I just I was really quiet
I listened to other people and everyone
else is quiet it was a really quiet
therapy session I was sat there thinking
I'm like this is rubbish but it was like
that because we're all trying to figure
each other out see what was going to
happen learn a bit about her and the
next therapy session pretty much the
same there slowly slowly slowly we
started opening up just putting a bit of
information out there and seeing what
happened and like say for example I
might say something that I did and
others would go oh my god I used to do
that oh yeah I used to do that and it
gets all chained and then I'd feel like
accepted not judged
I started to realize I got these people
that just like me we're all the same and
it took a while to realize it but in the
end I used to look forward to my therapy
sessions because it was the first time
I've sat with a group of people that got
me that didn't judge me
and I didn't judge them and I understood
them and we could relate to one another
we could share our experience oh my
phone's buzzing
and we could share our experiences and
every week I look forward to it so I
know it is scary to start with but I was
there I have been there I didn't just
walk along yeah I got their repeated a
guy's therapy whoa it was not like now I
did not want to go I mean my mom used to
struggle to get me just to go and see my
psychiatrist I did not want to go she'd
be dragging me out of bed now I just sit
f it's achieved feel like the whole
session and I forgot this actually my
mum replied to me she kindly reminded me
the other day I was like do you remember
you sit their arms folded and they would
be talking to you and you would just
grunt at them hmm I don't know I don't
really remember it and well until she
said and they really vaguely I remember
bits but I didn't want to be there and
so I do get and that you're scared but
this can be life-changing
which kind of leads me on to Leanne
second question well actually I think
that was her second question her first
question was does it work for everyone
there is no clear-cut answer I am a fan
of DBT dialectical behavioral therapy in
my solution section on YouTube and the
solution section on my website I have
all my videos that to do with the
solutions believe it or not and and the
solution for part of the solution for my
borderline personality disorder was DBT
and so I can kind of talk from
experience about that I can also talk
from experience about the steps program
which is Stepp s systematic training for
emotional predictability and problem
solving because I have done that and
they were both different therapies but I
got a lot from both of them and here's
the thing there are lots and lots of
different therapies out there some might
not be available to you so you just
can't do them but others might be I kind
of think what you get out what you put
in what you put in you get out so if you
kind of go with the mindset don't want
to be here not listening not doing my
homework not doing that you're not going
to get anything out of it because why
would you but if you give it you all
there's a pretty high chance you will
get something out of it I'm not saying
that you will be recovered like that I
am NOT saying that you will go along and
to say you do DBT and you come out and
you're a completely different person
because for me it was balance of lots of
different things now all the little
things had a huge impact on me and they
were put together and that's why like on
my channel I have a health and fitness
area because again little things like
this looking after yourself what you eat
walking a bit light doesn't have to be
running a marathon you can just walk all
these things will contribute to your
mental health being good work life
family life get all these different
areas but therapy can have such a huge
impact I mean I am a huge advocate of it
really I kind of think it can work for
anyone if you go in with an open mind
listen you practice the skills and you
give it your all because if you kind of
have the attitude this ain't gonna work
for me
don't believe it don't believe it which
I did to start with again when I did DBT
I didn't go in thinking oh my God my
life is changed forever because I've
started this amazing course it wasn't
like that
I didn't believe I could change because
I hadn't changed up to this point not
that I've done any therapy but I just
I'd been this way for so long actually
as far back as I can remember I said way
back when I was a child I was a toddler
how can doing this course change me make
me feel differently make me behave
differently I did not believe it could
happen but I was proved wrong because in
the end I kind of thought right this is
my chance I am lucky to be doing this
course I think there's only two
hospitals in the country doing at the
time and I was so lucky that I was going
to one of the hospitals that did and so
I got on the course and I decided I made
that decision I am gonna give this my
all I'm going to do my homework every
get like a worksheet of things to do
which the first few weeks I didn't do I
decided I'm going to make a change
because we can make that decision we're
going to make small changes to our lives
because at the end of the day if we
don't do anything nothing's going to
change we have to we have to make the
decision and not just make the decision
because I can make the decision to do
something and then change my mind
because that's the sort of person I am
but actually making the decision saying
this is what I'm going to do and do it I
believe anyone can get recovery from
this and it might be a case of different
things work for different people
I still believe if you're going with an
open mind you will get something out of
it something that can go towards your
recovery and help you I do feel that
have a think of how you are when you're
starting therapy and what I mean by that
is if you just say like we know you
might have borderline personality
disorder but with BPD we often have
other disorders we can suffer with
depression anxiety etc now if our
anxiety is so bad we do not want to
leave the house but somehow we get to
therapy if our anxiety is that bad
chances are we're not actually going to
take anything in because we're going to
be sat there so anxious nothing's going
to go in so in this circumstance you
kind of need to think I want to make
therapy as easy as possible for me do I
need medication for the anxiety do I
need medication for the depression
because I've done videos on medication
and I kind of explained it will not
solve your problems but it can ease
certain symptoms and therefore make life
easier and
easier for you to engage in therapy so
have a think do I need to make sure help
before I put myself in for this therapy
because you kind of want to be in the
best shape as you can be kind of which
is hard for us because we're we're a
mess when we start therapy but if there
are certain symptoms that can be eased
that's what you need to look at and then
seek advice on it get that sorted start
therapy give it all and honestly I think
anyone out they would find it so
rewarding if you actually give it your
all and when I say give it all you all I
don't mean give you all for two weeks
and then think nothing's changed
this doesn't work I'm not giving it my
all anymore I'm clicking it back because
if you do that you're not gonna see any
changes I've said time and time again
people recovery is a process it does
take time it's different about time for
different people but the more you put in
the quicker you will see results and but
another but and just because I say quick
more quicker more quicker more quickly
you see results it doesn't mean well I
put loads in this week there will be
results showing next week because again
not like that but you've just got to
have that faith and I'm here telling you
stick with it give it your all honestly
you deserve it you really do and you owe
it to yourself you owe it to your future
self to do this so good luck love you
guys bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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