I HATED therapy to start with so I understand how others feel regarding this. Here I tell my story and how therapy can help everyone. I believe we can all take something out of therapy no matter how big or small – but how much you put in effects how much you get out.
hi my lovelies um I have just pressed go like record and glanced down and realize my face is really shiny yeah it's really hot here um I live on the south coast of the UK and it's really really hot probably to some countries it might not be that hot it's 31 degrees here but for here is it's hot and it's not like we're holiday and we can lounge by pool and enjoy it we still have housework to do work to do kids to look after they still need previewing apparently and so yes I have a shiny face so I've just pressed record and I thought I've run upstairs and just held on the face but I'm too hot and bothered I'm not going to so I'm afraid you got to put up with shiny face today right I am doing a video request from Leanne who asked me hi Leanne by the way I think LeAnn has poor children as well just let me and yet she asked me does therapy work for everyone and what if you don't like therapy because not many of us do because therapy is often group therapy it's not just us there's of people and as we suffer with our mental health we're not good with people we don't do well when other people are around us so what do you do like you desperately desperately want to get well but you can't face sitting with the group for other people what your options now I was very much in this situation when I had to do I had to do numerous therapies I had to do and anger management was I think 18 or 19 when I did anger management I hadn't had the diagnosis of BPD then but I was very angry person getting in a lot of fights and it was recommended by my doctor that I do so I went along and but didn't want to be there I wasn't good with people and so my answer at the time by the way I solved this problem was I would get drunk and go along therapy drugged not good people not good idea so I hated it and then DBT came up and again I did not want to go I just didn't and when I did DBT however I did not get drunk to go along and do my therapy I think had I done that it's quite strict the rules and regulations and had they smelled alcohol on me I would have been kicked off and I didn't I did want to do it I did want to get well I was fed up feeling the way that I felt and so I didn't get drunk and I kinda I had to force myself to go every week to start with every week I did not want to go I did not want to walk into a room full of strangers and sit there and discuss my problems I couldn't think of anything worse but I did it and I think that's what we've got to do we have to sometimes face our fear now my advice to you I would say would be just think how you feel your feared up don't want to go to therapy don't want to sit with a bunch of strangers don't want to be sharing anything about yourself to anyone I'll head alone a group of strangers you're feeling like that but so is everyone else in that room if you asked every single person in that room did you want to come today I'm pretty sure most of them 99% of them would say no why because they feel exactly how you feel to them you're the stranger and they don't want to share things with you just like you don't want to share things with them and I know that doesn't change the way you feel but at least no one you are not alone and - they're as scared as you are you're all in this together out what I found when I faced my fear and I went along for weeks and weeks at weeks I did not want to go and but eventually like we didn't go in on the first therapy session and say at this age our self-harm jaw suffered with bulimia yells and a drug addict da-da-da-da-da that doesn't happen we built up the trust slowly so the first session I don't think I talked which is pretty unlike me so I don't adopt but I didn't I didn't talk I just I was really quiet I listened to other people and everyone else is quiet it was a really quiet therapy session I was sat there thinking I'm like this is rubbish but it was like that because we're all trying to figure each other out see what was going to happen learn a bit about her and the next therapy session pretty much the same there slowly slowly slowly we started opening up just putting a bit of information out there and seeing what happened and like say for example I might say something that I did and others would go oh my god I used to do that oh yeah I used to do that and it gets all chained and then I'd feel like accepted not judged I started to realize I got these people that just like me we're all the same and it took a while to realize it but in the end I used to look forward to my therapy sessions because it was the first time I've sat with a group of people that got me that didn't judge me and I didn't judge them and I understood them and we could relate to one another we could share our experience oh my phone's buzzing and we could share our experiences and every week I look forward to it so I know it is scary to start with but I was there I have been there I didn't just walk along yeah I got their repeated a guy's therapy whoa it was not like now I did not want to go I mean my mom used to struggle to get me just to go and see my psychiatrist I did not want to go she'd be dragging me out of bed now I just sit f it's achieved feel like the whole session and I forgot this actually my mum replied to me she kindly reminded me the other day I was like do you remember you sit their arms folded and they would be talking to you and you would just grunt at them hmm I don't know I don't really remember it and well until she said and they really vaguely I remember bits but I didn't want to be there and so I do get and that you're scared but this can be life-changing which kind of leads me on to Leanne second question well actually I think that was her second question her first question was does it work for everyone there is no clear-cut answer I am a fan of DBT dialectical behavioral therapy in my solution section on YouTube and the solution section on my website I have all my videos that to do with the solutions believe it or not and and the solution for part of the solution for my borderline personality disorder was DBT and so I can kind of talk from experience about that I can also talk from experience about the steps program which is Stepp s systematic training for emotional predictability and problem solving because I have done that and they were both different therapies but I got a lot from both of them and here's the thing there are lots and lots of different therapies out there some might not be available to you so you just can't do them but others might be I kind of think what you get out what you put in what you put in you get out so if you kind of go with the mindset don't want to be here not listening not doing my homework not doing that you're not going to get anything out of it because why would you but if you give it you all there's a pretty high chance you will get something out of it I'm not saying that you will be recovered like that I am NOT saying that you will go along and to say you do DBT and you come out and you're a completely different person because for me it was balance of lots of different things now all the little things had a huge impact on me and they were put together and that's why like on again my channel I have a health and fitness area because again little things like this looking after yourself what you eat walking a bit light doesn't have to be running a marathon you can just walk all these things will contribute to your mental health being good work life family life get all these different areas but therapy can have such a huge impact I mean I am a huge advocate of it really I kind of think it can work for anyone if you go in with an open mind listen you practice the skills and you give it your all because if you kind of have the attitude this ain't gonna work for me don't believe it don't believe it which I did to start with again when I did DBT I didn't go in thinking oh my God my life is changed forever because I've started this amazing course it wasn't like that I didn't believe I could change because I hadn't changed up to this point not that I've done any therapy but I just I'd been this way for so long actually as far back as I can remember I said way back when I was a child I was a toddler how can doing this course change me make me feel differently make me behave differently I did not believe it could happen but I was proved wrong because in the end I kind of thought right this is my chance I am lucky to be doing this course I think there's only two hospitals in the country doing at the time and I was so lucky that I was going to one of the hospitals that did and so I got on the course and I decided I made that decision I am gonna give this my all I'm going to do my homework every week get like a worksheet of things to do which the first few weeks I didn't do I decided I'm going to make a change because we can make that decision we're going to make small changes to our lives because at the end of the day if we don't do anything nothing's going to change we have to we have to make the decision and not just make the decision because I can make the decision to do something and then change my mind because that's the sort of person I am but actually making the decision saying this is what I'm going to do and do it I [Music] believe anyone can get recovery from this and it might be a case of different things work for different people I still believe if you're going with an open mind you will get something out of it something that can go towards your recovery and help you I do feel that have a think of how you are when you're starting therapy and what I mean by that is if you just say like we know you might have borderline personality disorder but with BPD we often have other disorders we can suffer with depression anxiety etc now if our anxiety is so bad we do not want to leave the house but somehow we get to therapy if our anxiety is that bad chances are we're not actually going to take anything in because we're going to be sat there so anxious nothing's going to go in so in this circumstance you kind of need to think I want to make therapy as easy as possible for me do I need medication for the anxiety do I need medication for the depression because I've done videos on medication and I kind of explained it will not solve your problems but it can ease certain symptoms and therefore make life easier and easier for you to engage in therapy so have a think do I need to make sure help before I put myself in for this therapy because you kind of want to be in the best shape as you can be kind of which is hard for us because we're we're a mess when we start therapy but if there are certain symptoms that can be eased beforehand that's what you need to look at and then seek advice on it get that sorted start therapy give it all and honestly I think anyone out they would find it so rewarding if you actually give it your all and when I say give it all you all I don't mean give you all for two weeks and then think nothing's changed this doesn't work I'm not giving it my all anymore I'm clicking it back because if you do that you're not gonna see any changes I've said time and time again people recovery is a process it does take time it's different about time for different people but the more you put in the quicker you will see results and but another but and just because I say quick more quicker more quicker more quickly you see results it doesn't mean well I put loads in this week there will be results showing next week because again not like that but you've just got to have that faith and I'm here telling you stick with it give it your all honestly you deserve it you really do and you owe it to yourself you owe it to your future self to do this so good luck love you guys bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.