It’s that time of year where ‘everyone’ seems to be going out and having the best time or buying the best presents – and we can be taken over with a fear of missing out – we want what they have. We forget a lot of what we see on social media is an illusion – or just a sneak peak in to their lives.

hi guys happy Tuesday I apologize I
didn't have a video out yesterday things
have just been really really busy in the
run-up to Christmas I've got myself here
today I told you about him in my last
video at the end and I thought I'd shown
him at the beginning but I hadn't so you
lucky little things here here I'll stop
it there we've actually run out of
batteries twice in a few days because my
son is playing that so much it has been
driving me a little bit crazy I won't
lie today I'm doing a video requested
from Kochi hai ouchie
I'm sorry if I'm pronouncing it wrong
and she asked me to talk about FOMO
which is the acronym fear of missing out
FOMO was actually added to the English
dictionary I believe in 2015 I think
because so many people are affected by
it I decided to do that video today
because I kind of talk about the
struggles over Christmas in my last
video and this one kind of ties in and
follows on because Christmas is at home
here everyone's going out having fun
buying loads of things and fear of
missing out doesn't necessarily mean
fear of missing out going out it can be
going on holiday
it could be material things someone's
just bought some amazing shoes and you
fear you like you're missing out and you
want those shoes it affects so many of
us and the thing is we have social media
social media is huge so it's very easy
for us well most people I know get out
of bed and the first thing they do is
look at their phones and it's constantly
looking at it throughout the day when
they go to bed they are looking at it if
you're on social media whether it's
Facebook or and
I've seen pictures and it's kind of like
an illusion because people don't put the
boring stuff online they're not gonna
take photo of them scrubbing the toilet
or changing baby's nappy or hoovering
vacuuming or putting out the rubbish
people none of that is interesting is
that so they want to put out the kind of
the best things of their life and so we
see the good photos of them going to
amazing places or going and having a
nice meal somewhere and we see that but
it is an illusion it's not their reality
I mean some of it might be part of but
we're not seeing the full picture but we
kind of in our heads believe that is the
full picture they've got so much going
on why don't I have it and it brings up
jealousy resentment anxiety because we
want those things and the thing is the
more we go on social media and look the
worse we feel and even if we then think
see someone else's pictures and we think
well we're gonna post something even
better and we do that and then the next
day we go on and someone else's post or
something even better
we've still got that fear because we're
constantly actually looking for outside
things to make us happy and happiness
doesn't come from outside things it
comes from then but we are looking at
materialistic things to make us happy
one thing we need to do is stop
comparing don't compare we are all so
different and not only are we also
different just because we're seeing that
someone has done something that does not
mean that is their reality in our head
we're telling ourselves that it is but
it might not be so do not compare
especially with pictures that posted
online just don't go there
the thing the problems that rise with
fear of missing out I suppose is we do
leave the loads of things that we didn't
really want to do we weren't motivated
to do them because we wanted to do them
we were motivated to do them because
other people were doing them and we
feared we were missing out so chances
are you will do those things and you
won't actually enjoy them they the
amount of money people spend doing
things because of fear of missing out
it's not things they particularly want
to do but it's not about what they want
to do it's what they're scared will
happen if they don't do it so they do it
they spend money people get into debt
they take out credit cards they take out
loans and for what chasing this
happiness that will never come one of
the best things I think helped me was
practicing the act of gratitude like
daily thinking for all the things that
I've got going in my life that I am so
grateful for and there are so many
things even if there are small things
like I had food in my fridge I have
clothes to wear it's freezing outside
and I've got central heating but it's
kind of new things constantly looking at
all the things you do have and I think
that helps with the happiness within and
because the thing is nobody's life is
perfect no matter how much they want us
to leave it is perfect it's not because
that's not life and if we're just going
to kind of chase this illusion and in
the end it's just going to call
as problems like anxiety like jealousy I
mean anxiety and jealousy there are
horrible horrible things to live with
and we don't have to live with them
there are things we can do to not have
them in our lives of try and limit
social media when you're on social media
kind of take what you're looking at with
a pinch of salt rather than thinking oh
that's the picture that's how their life
is because you don't know
we do not know people are not going to
show us the truth constant a and
Christmas is difficult because like I
said in my last video it's supposed to
be really really happy time everyone
spends money but here's the thing
actually Christmas is probably only
amazing amazing for those that have the
money to spend people that are richer
because the majority of us don't have
that kind of money and it's kind of seen
well it's Christmas you've got to spend
loads of money on food but what if we
don't have that money we just don't have
it but we're still trying to live up to
like this expectation there are so many
expectations around Christmas but it's
actually those expectations are kind of
out of reach for most people for the
majority of us they are out of reach and
I I used to have fear of missing out
before that was even social media I just
had it in my head and these thoughts
going round and round having so much fun
under and so like I said in my last
video I would just go out and I'm
telling you again it was never I never
once thought oh thank goodness I come
out thank God it was amazing I had the
best night because that's not the case I
would get
to the night the next day I'd think I've
just spent loads of money that I don't
have and it just wasn't worth it and I
managed to break the cycle today I am
grateful for the smaller things I don't
have to compare myself to everyone
because I suppose I have happiness
inside and I know it's not all those
external things don't get me wrong I'd
like money of course I'd like money I'd
like money not to buy like loads and
loads of material things but to free up
my time so I could spend more time
having fun with my children because most
of my life is spent cleaning or cooking
or ironing and all those mundane things
that parents have to do if I had the
money I would have a cleaner I would
have a cook that'd be amazing and it
would give me quality time with the
children so as you can see it's not
material things money kind of gives us
time so I'm not saying I don't want
money because obviously I think it can
make life easier but I definitely don't
feel I have to compare and I don't have
that fear of missing out that anxiety is
gone when I get if I haven't introduced
if thought what they're doing I would
possibly practice some mindfulness which
is bringing it back to the moment until
that thought and past like I said
practicing gratitude I think I've got
all this and also thinking okay well if
I don't go out what what will I save and
maybe putting it into like thinking of
it like that and thinking well this is
how much money I will have and if I
didn't go out next week I will have this
much money and then maybe I can do
something that I really want to do
as opposed to doing something that you
don't want to do because you're scared
if you don't do it if that makes sense
because it's just a waste and you aren't
going to get in a vicious vicious cycle
and it'll go round and round around and
you do need to break it I think I'm
gonna leave that there to you guys
I should have a video coming out and
Friday oh maybe I won't is my daughter's
nativity play at school and my son's is
on next Monday okay so I'm gonna have to
work yes I might have to do another
video today to put out on Friday because
I just realized it like I said in the
run-up to Christmas there is just so
much on school fairs like and the
Christmas Fair going to see Santa buying
presents and all that but I will try and
get another video for you down but I
love you all loads and I'll be back in
the next few days hi guys
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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