e often act impulsively – whether its drink, drugs, binge eating, shopping or gambling. We partake in these things in order to make ourselves feel better – but inevitably we always feel worse. What should we do about this?
hi my lovelies Sevres over there fast asleep Remus is being nice to him as of next week I'm going to start doing one video a week the reason for this is I'm just not getting time to finish up the courses and I need I need this website launched because I know how much it will help you I have like I don't doubt it one bit I found a hundred percent this is what people with BPD need this is what family members need and it's kind of it we're so near yet so far because I'm just not getting the course is done so I am going to go back to doing one video a week obviously if I find time I might throw in an extra one now and again but yes say today I'm going to talk about the financial implications I got video requested to do this again private message so high do you ask me um the financial implications of our impulsive behaviors so that could be using drugs it could be alcohol drinking it could be shopping it could be gambling it could be an eating disorder where you just eat eat and then bring up your food like binge eating because the financial implications for our impulsive behaviors are huge we can get in serious debt the thing is though there were 50 PD don't tend to hold down jobs so we often spend time out of work so it's not like we are financially well-off at all we tend to kind of have a struggle financially and then you bring in you bring in the impulsive behaviors and it can cause serious problems with our finances I know like when I was using drugs I if I wanted to use like as soon as I got it in my head I want to use that was it no matter what I was gonna get that money and I was just gonna spend it so if I had like just being paid I would spend all the money in one go and then be skinned for the rest of the month I would be having to borrow off my mom promising I'd pay her back I'm never doing so and with the financial problems comes guilt because we do feel guilty especially if we have like people that are dependent on us so whether we have children or a partner maybe our partner is paying the bills and we're saying we got no money because actually we're spending our money it's it can call it can cause problems in our relationship obviously because the partner can then feel resentful or family members can feel resentful because they work really hard they might go out and have a job and be working their butts off and then it to them it looks like we just sat around spending what little money we have all in one go and then relying on them to help us but like I said it's not like we don't care we do we do this the problem is with the impulsive behaviors they're exactly that they're impulsive so we don't sit and just think it through it's just once we get it in our head we do it and with whether it's drugs whether it's gambling whether it's alcohol or shopping we do this because we're trying to fix our feelings so it's really kind of ironic really like we do these things to make us feel better but actually it's these very things that then leave us feeling guilty and ashamed of feeling rubbish and yet we kind of at the time see them as our solutions to our problem because that was it for me like the drinking and the using it was a way of making myself feel better it was it was my coping skill the problem is it's not a healthy coping skill and with it comes loads of other problems but because it's done impulsively we just don't think about the other time or we think about it very briefly but we dismiss it because we're gonna do it this is what we've decided we're gonna do we're gonna do to spend down money and it's often like when we get home with all the new clothes before or the next day when the drugs and alcohol have worn off that the guilt sets in and completely consumes us I can remember just waking up some days and feeling so guilty I just couldn't face anyone I just wanted to like literally bury my head in the sand and not look at anyone not see anyone like what am I gonna do why why did I do this because often when I'm like this I swear blind that I will never do it again I'll never touch another drug I will never go and spend loads and money I'm gonna be really sensible I'm gonna save my money but then I start feeling down and I go and repeat exactly what I did before or I go and drink I go and news I go and shop I go and binge and I all these horrible impulsive behaviors come back out to make me feel better and it's a real vicious cycle obviously financially if you want to be okay financially don't spend your money stop the drugs just don't shop don't binge but it's not that easy is it it's it's really not just that if only it was that simple that we're like yeah I'm just not going to do that this is really costing me a lot of money I think I'll quit if only it was that easy but it's not so regarding the impulsive behaviour we have to learn new coping skills to cope when we're feeling down so hopefully those skills replace the unhealthy ones again it doesn't happen overnight it takes practice there's places like 12-step fellowships Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous cocaine's Anonymous Overeaters Anonymous there's loads of them for everything I think absolutely everything you can do this and try and overcome it this way and I suppose that's the only beating this behavior is going to be the only thing that stops you spending the money and doing it regarding the guilt guilt keeps us stuck where we are I know it can be beneficial in like small amount if we can change it for the positive so for example if the Gil actually makes us stop the drugs if we feel good when we can stop again I know not many people can but there might be people out there then then it's a good thing but for the majority of us it just eats us alive from the inside we feel terrible we can't stop thinking about it and wine goes over over and over beating us up and we get more depressed and more depressed and actually because we start then feeling more down what do we do go and fix ourselves on the very thing that we feel guilty about so regarding Gil it is the case of when you start feeling that guilt distracting yourself learning just to let it go take positive steps towards doing something about it so so you feel guilty no that might not be able to make you just stop straightaway but it could possibly push you into taking positive steps like joining a 12-step fellowship or going into rehab or speaking to your counselor and actually doing something rather than just sitting with there and letting it do your head in I think I'll leave that video that there guys leave my lonely boy for us to sleep you know what my son let me show you this I'm really horrified at this actually my son you know he's been off this week he was so sick I had to pull my carpet up that's all pain they're like old Victorian floorboards from 120 years ago so now I've got get my floor done don't believe it I will be back next Friday obviously if I find I can fit another video I will but like I said I want to get these courses and get this website up so you can start using it but I love your legs have a fantastic weekend guys
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.