e often act impulsively – whether its drink, drugs, binge eating, shopping or gambling. We partake in these things in order to make ourselves feel better – but inevitably we always feel worse. What should we do about this?

Transcript:
hi my lovelies Sevres over there fast
asleep Remus is being nice to him as of
next week
I'm going to start doing one video a
week the reason for this is I'm just not
getting time to finish up the courses
and I need I need this website launched
because I know how much it will help you
I have like I don't doubt it one bit I
found a hundred percent this is what
people with BPD need this is what family
members need and it's kind of it we're
so near yet so far because I'm just not
getting the course is done so I am going
to go back to doing one video a week
obviously if I find time I might throw
in an extra one now and again but yes
say today I'm going to talk about the
financial implications I got video
requested to do this again private
message so high do you ask me um the
financial implications of our impulsive
behaviors so that could be using drugs
it could be alcohol drinking it could be
shopping
it could be gambling it could be an
eating disorder where you just eat eat
and then bring up your food like binge
eating because the financial
implications for our impulsive behaviors
are huge we can get in serious debt the
thing is though there were 50 PD don't
tend to hold down jobs so we often spend
time out of work so it's not like we are
financially well-off
at all we tend to kind of have a
struggle financially and
then you bring in you bring in the
impulsive behaviors and it can cause
serious problems with our finances I
know like when I was using drugs I if I
wanted to use like as soon as I got it
in my head I want to use that was it
no matter what I was gonna get that
money and I was just gonna spend it so
if I had like just being paid I would
spend all the money in one go and then
be skinned for the rest of the month I
would be having to borrow off my mom
promising I'd pay her back I'm never
doing so and with the financial problems
comes guilt because we do feel guilty
especially if we have like people that
are dependent on us so whether we have
children or a partner maybe our partner
is paying the bills and we're saying we
got no money because actually we're
spending our money it's it can call it
can cause problems in our relationship
obviously because the partner can then
feel resentful or family members can
feel resentful because they work really
hard they might go out and have a job
and be working their butts off and then
it to them it looks like we just sat
around spending what little money we
have all in one go and then relying on
them to help us but like I said it's not
like we don't care we do we do this the
problem is with the impulsive behaviors
they're exactly that they're impulsive
so we don't sit and just think it
through it's just once we get it in our
head we do it and with whether it's
drugs whether it's gambling
whether it's alcohol or shopping we do
this because we're trying to fix our
feelings so it's really kind of ironic
really like we do these things to make
us feel better but actually it's these
very things that then leave us feeling
guilty and ashamed of feeling rubbish
and yet we kind of at the time see them
as our solutions to our problem because
that was it for me like the drinking and
the using it was a way of making myself
feel better it was it was my coping
skill the problem is it's not a healthy
coping skill and with it comes loads of
other problems but because it's done
impulsively we just don't think about
the other time or we think about it very
briefly but we dismiss it because we're
gonna do it this is what we've decided
we're gonna do we're gonna do to spend
down money and it's often like when we
get home with all the new clothes before
or the next day when the drugs and
alcohol have worn off that the guilt
sets in and completely consumes us I can
remember just waking up some days and
feeling so guilty I just couldn't face
anyone I just wanted to like literally
bury my head in the sand and not look at
anyone not see anyone like what am I
gonna do why why did I do this because
often when I'm like this I swear blind
that I will never do it again I'll never
touch another drug I will never go and
spend loads and money I'm gonna be
really sensible I'm gonna save my money
but then I start feeling down and I go
and repeat exactly what I did before
or I go and drink I go and news I go and
shop I go and binge and I all these
horrible impulsive behaviors come back
out to make me feel better and it's a
real vicious cycle obviously financially
if you want to be okay financially don't
spend your money stop the drugs just
don't shop don't binge but it's not that
easy is it it's it's really not just
that if only it was that simple that
we're like yeah I'm just not going to do
that this is really costing me a lot of
money I think I'll quit if only it was
that easy but it's not so regarding the
impulsive behaviour we have to learn new
coping skills to cope when we're feeling
down so hopefully those skills replace
the unhealthy ones again it doesn't
happen overnight it takes practice
there's places like 12-step fellowships
Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous
cocaine's Anonymous Overeaters Anonymous
there's loads of them for everything I
think absolutely everything you can do
this and try and overcome it this way
and I suppose that's the only beating
this behavior is going to be the only
thing that stops you spending the money
and doing it regarding the guilt guilt
keeps us stuck where we are I know it
can be beneficial in like small amount
if we can change it for the positive so
for example if the Gil actually makes us
stop the drugs if we feel good when we
can stop again I know not many people
can but there might be people out there
then then it's a good thing but for the
majority of us it just eats us alive
from the inside we feel terrible we
can't stop thinking about it and wine
goes over
over and over beating us up and we get
more depressed and more depressed and
actually because we start then feeling
more down what do we do go and fix
ourselves on the very thing that we feel
guilty about so regarding Gil it is the
case of when you start feeling that
guilt distracting yourself learning just
to let it go take positive steps towards
doing something about it so so you feel
guilty no that might not be able to make
you just stop straightaway but it could
possibly push you into taking positive
steps like joining a 12-step fellowship
or going into rehab or speaking to your
counselor and actually doing something
rather than just sitting with there and
letting it do your head in I think I'll
leave that video that there guys leave
my lonely boy for us to sleep you know
what my son let me show you this I'm
really horrified at this actually my son
you know he's been off this week he was
so sick I had to pull my carpet up
that's all pain they're like old
Victorian floorboards from 120 years ago
so now I've got get my floor done don't
believe it I will be back next Friday
obviously if I find I can fit another
video I will but like I said I want to
get these courses and get this website
up so you can start using it but I love
your legs have a fantastic weekend guys
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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