happy Monday guys today I was planning
on doing the histrionic video about
history on personality disorder and then
I realized last night that I've actually
got a doctor's appointment for my son in
45 minutes so I have to do a really
quick video today and I will do the
histrionic one possibly Wednesday for
you and today I am just going to kind of
comment on some of the comments comment
on my comments that I got on the
narcissistic personality disorder video
um I don't usually comment on comments
but I wanted to do a quick video and
there are a few things I thought oh yeah
why didn't I say that so um first of all
Jodie hi Jodie soon as she mentioned
that not all people with borderline
suffered trauma in childhood and that is
absolutely correct I had a pretty decent
childhood I was never beaten I had a mom
that showered me with love but looking
back there were things that really
affected me I was highly highly
sensitive and so I kind of think that
dropping the microphone we can have a
predisposition being that the borderline
can be partially hereditary it can be in
our genes and so we are highly sensitive
people to start with and then depending
on what kind of life we have it can come
out or it won't come out for me looking
back there were things that weren't
abuse but I think could have possibly
triggered things in me I mean I had a
really like you've met my mom one of
videos my mom has always been so loving
showered me with love and hugs and
kisses and she's you know I've been very
very fortunate and she always tells the
story that like when she went to give
birth to my brother she back then mums
used to be in like hospital for like a
week
and my mum was in hospital for I don't
think she stayed the whole week was just
desperate to get home to me and when she
she said she came home with my brother I
was like just sat in the corner like
really quiet I wasn't talking and I
wasn't like the happy little girl now I
don't think in that week my dad abused
me or beat me or anything like that my
dad was a binge alcoholic but he was a
loving dad and he still is but I think
it was possibly hard on him all of a
sudden being the main carer for a little
girl I don't know if he I don't I don't
know how we coped and whereas I was so
used to having my mom there all the time
giving me hugs and kisses all of a
sudden she wasn't there and it seemed to
really affect me now I can't remember
this and it is just from what I'm told
like how it was just like I was a
different child and so kind of thinking
over I possibly really suffered like I
thought she had abandoned me because she
had gone away and she had never left me
before I was always used to having in
there and I was a little girl and I
didn't understand and I was left in the
care of my dad who I might have been a
bit hectic for and he didn't know how to
deal with there and he was a different
type of parents and my mum I suppose so
little things like this which when
outright abuse wasn't trauma but for me
it was perceived trauma because I
thought my mum had left me even though
she hadn't and there was another case my
mum and dad had a blazing row and I can
remember the shouting and my mum grabbed
me and she went upstairs and grabbed my
brother Carl he was in a court and we
ran next door and stayed at the
neighbor's house and I always remember
where I can actually
think we're running we're hiding and and
because for a child just hearing the
raised voices it was really frightening
so it was I mean they might have been
having an argument over my dad saying
he'd clean the bathroom and he didn't it
could have been something like that I
don't know but in my head there was this
big all humor we had to run it like flee
for our life when it wasn't there
my mum probably just didn't want the
shouting around us so she took the kids
and went next door we sat next door but
in my head it was like so much bigger
because I was a child and I didn't
understand it I was highly sensitive so
I do think sometimes we can have
perceived trauma but it was for me took
us even though to the outside world it
wasn't trauma if that makes sense like
I've told the story before where I
thought my dad was leaving and I was
crying at the window when actually he
was just going away to work but I had
this feeling he was just going and I
wasn't gonna see him again and so yeah
so but definitely like Jodie said not
all people with borderline have suffered
trauma in their childhood and I must
point that out because some people might
say oh I got diagnosed with borderline
but I don't think I can have it because
actually I had a good childhood the same
thing I noticed like when I got into
recovery from drinking and drug drugs um
a lot of the people in treatment it had
really really tough rough upbringing and
I was kind of like well I felt like a
bit of a fraud
like well maybe I should be here why why
did I use drugs when I didn't have
anything like what happened to then but
again I don't think like us having an OK
upbringing or even a good upbringing
can stop us from rebelling in later life
getting into drug addiction and
alcoholism so if you are out there and
you have BPD and you're kind of
questioning but I didn't have trauma
maybe I don't know that not everyone
with borderline has had trauma yes a lot
of the time it does come up just the
same with people that suffer drug
addictions a lot at the time they have
had some kind of trauma in their
childhood and I suppose it's all down to
it like I've said before how our brain
develops from a young age and if we are
subjected to trauma and that we're more
likely for our brain to work in a
certain way because we kind of adapt to
that kind of living situation and that's
how we learn to cope and how we learn to
deal with things and we learn what we
think is normal so if there is violence
in the home we can grow up kind of
thinking it's okay that that is normal
because it is normal for us is what we
are used to and right next thing ah John
hi John
John said basically how can you
borderlines not accept narcissists and
yet you expect other people to accept us
and I think that's actually a really
valid point because like I said in my
last video I was being a bit judgmental
because someone has all these trays I do
you think they're not very nice person
but I do also agree they're us
borderlines with all our trays we we
cannot be we're not very nice we behave
in a way that isn't nice and I suppose
people that don't stuff with that when
they look at us and look at our
behaviour they are gonna find it hard to
accept us like I said at the end of the
last video whether we suffer narcissism
whether we suffer
borderline personality disorder it
doesn't excuse our behaviors if we're
being horrible
we're being horrible and if someone is
with us and we carry on acting out in
this way they are just going to get hurt
and they've got to come a point for them
to say actually I don't deserve this I
don't need this in my life
I think the exception comes when someone
who is narcissistic someone who is
borderline is actively trying to help
themselves when like you guys you you
watch my videos you probably watch lots
of videos on borderline because you're
trying to understand it and that is key
to recovery once we can kind of see our
illness for what it is and see actually
this is how we behave this is why we
behave like this now what are we going
to do to stop it
that kind of shifts it because we're
actively trying to get better and I
think if someone was with us and we're
actively trying to get better it'd be
pretty harsh if they just walked away
because if we are trying to do something
about it because the same with
narcissists the same borderline same
with all the personality disorders we
did not choose to have this it doesn't
excuse it but if we try to help
ourselves we are trying to do a good
thing because we realize that actually
we're fed up of hurting people we are
and someone else had mentioned something
I can't I didn't write it down basically
about how the narcissist is not
empathetic and I know like okay so just
say you have a narcissist and some with
no personality disorder and they're
having an argument and the narcissist is
putting them down putting them down
putting them down that person is not
going to win the argument against the
narcissist
and the argument finishes and they might
make up but when they make up the
narcissist will never say sorry now you
take someone with borderline and they
are arguing with their partner and
they're putting them down putting them
down putting them down because we can to
be just as vicious and just as nasty
without ask and we do them and then we
make up but the borderline this is where
it's different borderline is much more
likely to say I'm really sorry because
we can realize that the way we behave
was not acceptable so for me this means
what actually we're more likely to
realize that there is a problem than
someone with narcissism who doesn't and
that's not their fault they're just
unable to see there's a problem but as
with borderline can and so that should
make it more likely that we're going to
then seek help and get recovery and
recover from this horrible disorder and
then I had a comment from Alexander
hi-hats and and who mentioned that the
National Institute of Health did a BPD
NPD comorbidity study and they found
that there was a it was a 40% rate now
actually I said 25% in my last but I had
read on a few that twenty five to thirty
seven so I was kind of saying a minimum
of 25 but I mean if it's as much as
forty that is pretty huge and Alexander
also kind of mentioned that he he
Alexander I think it's orally if I'm
wrong and that they read the cluster
bees are actually kind of variations of
the same theme and that they believed
narcissists actually have the same
emotional range as someone with BPD I
don't necessarily know I'd I wouldn't
say I agree with that but I mean no
one's gonna agree with everyone and I
mean Alexander's written loads in the
comment section on the narcissus video
so and just got loads of ideas oh he's
got I'm really sorry
aleksander I'm pretty sure it's for
yelling Zondra is a girl please forgive
me if I am wrong but yeah check out the
comment because there's lots of
interesting stuff in there so I'm gonna
leave that there so there guys pick on
I'm really really so but like I said I
I'm supposed to be leaving now to go and
click my son to get to an appointment so
I hope you enjoy the rest of your week
and I will be back with the histrionic
Personality Disorder our video this week
love you all back
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