hello my lovelies please excuse the
really crappy wallpaper I hate it but
I'm gonna get decorated soon we gone if
you hear the boy he's home he's got a
really high temperature still but his
dad has popped over to see him so he's
in there so he won't come in today I'm
gonna do a video request I got asked it
in a private message so I went say like
who is that hi and I literally when I
read the message
I felt the person's pain so let me give
you the scenario just imagine you have
to really close friends and you do
everything together
always go everywhere together and then
one day you found out like two days ago
they went out and spent a day together
without you and they didn't have to cuz
you were home you weren't doing anything
so you could have gone with them but
they just didn't ask they just went and
he just took me right back to because I
used to be like Iram toward this story
before and I used to have a friend I
used to have a friend I have not anymore
but I used to have this friend and we
were in the pub and one day like we did
everything together and we always sat in
the POC together in one day she decided
the police said oh I've invited my other
friend from school and we went to a
different school so I didn't know her
friend anyway her friends there I was
really jealous I got off and walked off
but I kept glancing over watching them
having a laugh and feeling like they're
laughing at me they don't like me why
did she invite someone else what was
wrong it's always just asked why do we
need her there and so I really felt this
person's pain when I read their message
and so how would we feel like betrayed
her like they're going to abandon us we
would start doing their thinking for
them we'd start say well they went out
without me because
they don't like me they think I'm boring
they don't like my company they're gonna
abandon me actually all the things that
we are saying that they think about us
are actually only things that we think
for ourselves we don't like ourselves
with fragile were insecure we have low
self-esteem so the things that we're
saying oh she doesn't like me it's
because we don't like me
we think we're annoying we think they
don't want to be with us but we kind of
project onto them and think that's there
but we can't do sun else is thinking for
them because just like they can't get
into our heads we can't get into their
heads but what do you do when you're in
this situation like I know if it was me
this had happened to like back there not
now because I have quite healthy
relationships with my friends now I I
don't put them on a pedestal anymore
like I used to they'd go straight off on
a pedestal and once they're really up
high it's very easy for them to come
tumbling down because of our
black-and-white thinking so I just don't
do that I am able nowadays precede the
gray area something that I just couldn't
do they were either the best person in
the world and then they'll do something
like this go out with another friend and
all of a sudden there'd be the worst
person in the world how could they do
this I hate them and I would have got to
the point like I would sulk with them
possibly go and talk to another friend
about them behind the back about what a
horrible person they were if if I was so
bad I might start like drinking to kinda
numb the pain but I think I'd be more
inclined to think I'm going to block
them on social media I'm not going to
talk to them
ha they want to be in my video
so we want to be on come sit down
these will be lots a few words God Lisa
you're interrupting my like friends okay
just imagine you have two friends and
then one day you usually always go out
together and one day they all go out
when we were together you refused to be
in our videos now you want to be my
video don't worry about me nobody knows
where I live yeah you're interrupting my
video anyway same may be saying we
shouldn't do other people's thinking for
them yes no no you are not talking the
high through my videos you know how you
to around the gram guys I'm here yeah
just all sandwiches say what I would say
would do so I'd want to block them on
social media I want to think I'm going
to teach them a lesson so now the
cameras gonna be moving
so I would do these things stay calm you
know my voice being a maniac don't all
thinking push and we've got to learn to
see in the grave so we've got to learn
to see in the gray area because like I
said we can put someone up on a pedestal
and then they can do something like this
and then we just knock them off the
pedestal it hurts us we feel less than
we feel not good enough
actually those insecurities were there
all along that's not to say that other
people people won't do exactly the same
ya know go in there just really I would
say to you if you're in this situation
like we've got to force ourselves to see
like other scenarios because we are
purposefully on the lookout for a threat
so we think something bad they like they
didn't want to see us they went out
because something bad about us because
we feel bad about us so we then have to
kind of think okay but what if that's
not correct what if there are other
reasons so we can write down maybe they
just mmm happened to me on the
phone and once it's we go for a coffee
and it was just a spur-of-the-moment
thing
maybe they just didn't think they just
didn't know shouldn't we ask they just
was so busy planning oh let's go out
let's go here let's go there is that
selfish not really because I haven't
done it on purpose it might seem like it
is and yes it's hurtful but
it people like they're not right all the
time people can just do things without
thinking I do it all the time you're
such a dick
seriously I'm really listening in ten
meters I'm gonna give my gonna know
another thing could be maybe they did on
purpose because they were planning on
buying you a nice prison so I mean it
might not be that but it might be how do
you know you just don't know so I would
definitely kind of write things down
others other reasons for it I would also
maybe like if they're your best friends
talk to them and just say look they said
how I feel you don't have to be pointing
the finger because then they're gonna
get defensive out now just give me a
pillow back cuz okay I'm gonna go out
I'm not gonna say bye-bye I'm buying a
present because I'm gonna have coffee
and I'm not inviting her I don't want to
go it's a present
thank you same door I'm nearly done you
don't get a cent enough play any
attention
out hi
okay so that's my exes they very caught
with in December we getting honest
friends he's staying right with the kids
on that he never ever wanted to be in
any of my videos now he's saying he will
be in my videos I haven't invited him
[Music]
well um no he may he's making any foot
with the kids and that's all that
matters
so I'm gonna leave that there
I'm sorry that was a bit of a different
one today a bit unexpected Oh before I
go as well like this insecurity that we
have like if this happened with our
friends but that's something like that
we need to work on is not our friends
fault
they don't need to change it's we need
to learn to manage our highlighting can
see in the gray area we need to slowly
build our self-esteem becoming less
insecure questioning our distorted
thinking so if we are saying they don't
like us the data actually questioning
that because I'm not saying that our
thinking is always wrong I'm not saying
that but I don't think we always kind of
see the full picture we just see what we
want to see and a lot of that like I
said is down to low self-esteem and a
fear of abandonment so I'm gonna leave
that there today guys that was really
very weird one Oh Bieber I'll be back on
Friday I love you walnuts