What would you do if two of your closest friends, who you do everything with decide to go hang out without you? Hurt? Betrayed? Angry? Today I discuss this.
hello my lovelies please excuse the really crappy wallpaper I hate it but I'm gonna get decorated soon we gone if you hear the boy he's home he's got a really high temperature still but his dad has popped over to see him so he's in there so he won't come in today I'm gonna do a video request I got asked it in a private message so I went say like who is that hi and I literally when I read the message I felt the person's pain so let me give you the scenario just imagine you have to really close friends and you do everything together always go everywhere together and then one day you found out like two days ago they went out and spent a day together without you and they didn't have to cuz you were home you weren't doing anything so you could have gone with them but they just didn't ask they just went and he just took me right back to because I used to be like Iram toward this story before and I used to have a friend I used to have a friend I have not anymore but I used to have this friend and we were in the pub and one day like we did everything together and we always sat in the POC together in one day she decided the police said oh I've invited my other friend from school and we went to a different school so I didn't know her friend anyway her friends there I was really jealous I got off and walked off but I kept glancing over watching them having a laugh and feeling like they're laughing at me they don't like me why did she invite someone else what was wrong it's always just asked why do we need her there and so I really felt this person's pain when I read their message and so how would we feel like betrayed her like they're going to abandon us we would start doing their thinking for them we'd start say well they went out without me because they don't like me they think I'm boring they don't like my company they're gonna abandon me actually all the things that we are saying that they think about us are actually only things that we think for ourselves we don't like ourselves with fragile were insecure we have low self-esteem so the things that we're saying oh she doesn't like me it's because we don't like me we think we're annoying we think they don't want to be with us but we kind of project onto them and think that's there but we can't do sun else is thinking for them because just like they can't get into our heads we can't get into their heads but what do you do when you're in this situation like I know if it was me this had happened to like back there not now because I have quite healthy relationships with my friends now I I don't put them on a pedestal anymore like I used to they'd go straight off on a pedestal and once they're really up high it's very easy for them to come tumbling down because of our black-and-white thinking so I just don't do that I am able nowadays precede the gray area something that I just couldn't do they were either the best person in the world and then they'll do something like this go out with another friend and all of a sudden there'd be the worst person in the world how could they do this I hate them and I would have got to the point like I would sulk with them possibly go and talk to another friend about them behind the back about what a horrible person they were if if I was so bad I might start like drinking to kinda numb the pain but I think I'd be more inclined to think I'm going to block them on social media I'm not going to talk to them ha they want to be in my video so we want to be on come sit down these will be lots a few words God Lisa you're interrupting my like friends okay just imagine you have two friends and then one day you usually always go out together and one day they all go out when we were together you refused to be in our videos now you want to be my video don't worry about me nobody knows where I live yeah you're interrupting my video anyway same may be saying we shouldn't do other people's thinking for them yes no no you are not talking the high through my videos you know how you to around the gram guys I'm here yeah just all sandwiches say what I would say would do so I'd want to block them on social media I want to think I'm going to teach them a lesson so now the cameras gonna be moving so I would do these things stay calm you know my voice being a maniac don't all thinking push and we've got to learn to see in the grave so we've got to learn to see in the gray area because like I said we can put someone up on a pedestal and then they can do something like this and then we just knock them off the pedestal it hurts us we feel less than we feel not good enough actually those insecurities were there all along that's not to say that other people people won't do exactly the same ya know go in there just really I would say to you if you're in this situation like we've got to force ourselves to see like other scenarios because we are purposefully on the lookout for a threat so we think something bad they like they didn't want to see us they went out because something bad about us because we feel bad about us so we then have to kind of think okay but what if that's not correct what if there are other reasons so we can write down maybe they just mmm happened to me on the phone and once it's we go for a coffee and it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing maybe they just didn't think they just didn't know shouldn't we ask they just was so busy planning oh let's go out let's go here let's go there is that selfish not really because I haven't done it on purpose it might seem like it is and yes it's hurtful but it people like they're not right all the time people can just do things without thinking I do it all the time you're such a dick seriously I'm really listening in ten meters I'm gonna give my gonna know another thing could be maybe they did on purpose because they were planning on buying you a nice prison so I mean it might not be that but it might be how do you know you just don't know so I would definitely kind of write things down others other reasons for it I would also maybe like if they're your best friends talk to them and just say look they said how I feel you don't have to be pointing the finger because then they're gonna get defensive out now just give me a pillow back cuz okay I'm gonna go out I'm not gonna say bye-bye I'm buying a present because I'm gonna have coffee and I'm not inviting her I don't want to go it's a present thank you same door I'm nearly done you don't get a cent enough play any attention out hi okay so that's my exes they very caught with in December we getting honest friends he's staying right with the kids on that he never ever wanted to be in any of my videos now he's saying he will be in my videos I haven't invited him [Music] well um no he may he's making any foot with the kids and that's all that matters so I'm gonna leave that there I'm sorry that was a bit of a different one today a bit unexpected Oh before I go as well like this insecurity that we have like if this happened with our friends but that's something like that we need to work on is not our friends fault they don't need to change it's we need to learn to manage our highlighting can see in the gray area we need to slowly build our self-esteem becoming less insecure questioning our distorted thinking so if we are saying they don't like us the data actually questioning that because I'm not saying that our thinking is always wrong I'm not saying that but I don't think we always kind of see the full picture we just see what we want to see and a lot of that like I said is down to low self-esteem and a fear of abandonment so I'm gonna leave that there today guys that was really very weird one Oh Bieber I'll be back on Friday I love you walnuts
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