When should you tell a new partner you have a mental health issue – or should you even tell them at all? If you do tell them – how should you do that?

oh hello hello hello hello
and I had a video request from Lala Lala
I'm asking me like how do you tell a new
partner that you ever mental health
illness and it's a difficult one isn't
it you don't want to frighten them away
but at the same time there's only so
long we can keep it hidden before our
behaviors give something away I know all
my relationships were very intense very
quickly and from the first day we loved
each other it would be very quick before
we had our first blazing route and they
saw a side to me that would have shot
them so how do you tell a new partner
when do you tell a new partner
I suppose it's up to you yet whenever
you want I would personally I can't tell
you what to do because it might this is
just my opinion it doesn't mean it's
right but for me I wouldn't tell someone
on a first date hi nice to meet you at
mental health illness I'm because that's
what some of that will scare them away
so it's definitely I would I wouldn't
say first date thing because at the end
of the day you won't go on the first day
and not like them that much anyway so
why give out that information so freely
if you say to three dates in you think
now do like this person they like you
and like I said you've had a few dates
so you're getting to know each other
it's not quit
that is when I would be personally
thinking right I'm gonna talk to them
that this so what you say right how
there is not I suppose an easy way of
doing it like I said just a minute ago
you don't to scare them away
I really need to talk to you I meant
like because that's just because that
might still frighten them away a few
dates in so you know you need to kind of
really in a bit
I personally a case so I'm sat with a
guy let's pretend if you've got anyone a
little character they can move up we'll
just sit with a guy and how would I say
it I think I'd be like oh there is
something I wanted to talk to you about
oh yeah ooh yeah
I say yeah like years ago I got
diagnosed with borderline personality
disorder do you know anything about that
no I can't say I do
what is it I was basically you get right
really extreme emotions and lucky am i
doing this rubbish okay
yeah oh just like really extreme
emotions and they can just make me
behave in a way that it's not me I don't
want to behave like that
Oh what like um like a mental no it is a
mental health issue BAE is treatable and
I'm looking into kind of what treatments
are available
or and there's a great website you
should watch a girl called recovering
mom and if you just watch her videos you
might have like learn to understand
yeah sure babes I'll check it out is
that any good
awkward but yes I jest I jest but on a
serious note it would be along those
lines maybe with the less the cheesiness
less accent less ho burbs less mental
but just kind of yeah like bit feeding
them little bits like yeah I was
diagnosed with borderline CH you know
anything about it oh yeah like it's
quite common actually but there's a
website like you can feel free to show
my videos almost just tonight but it
might help them understand because I
have done videos for partners as well
and you tell them as much as you want to
tell them you don't have to go into
everything then and they're like yeah
with my last boyfriend I used to really
bite him like again maybe not straight
away maybe wait for him to question your
behaviors and then you sell it's nothing
I'm proud of but like I'd get this
extreme jealousy one of the traits of
borderline is that we have this fear of
abandonment so we take extreme measures
to try and stop someone leaving us even
if they weren't going to leave us and
just help them understand now if they're
a decent person hopefully they will look
into it
learn a bit about it and try to
understand that's not to say the first
time you go they're gonna be like oh
it's okay I understand I'll stick around
because they might still just go BA eat
at least afaik they can get some
landing they can understand your
behaviors and know that you're not we
need to be like this this is an illness
and hopefully they'll we have to support
you and if they're worth being with they
will support you and they will like try
to understand and they won't just run
away because if someone's just gonna run
away straight away as soon as they find
out that you have a mental health
illness they're probably not worth being
with because if they're gonna run away
then they're gonna definitely run away
as soon as our beastie comes out you
know so may as well just get it over
with but like I said there's loads of
really supportive partners out there and
there's like there are new partners and
I know this for a fact because I have
had new partners messaged me saying I've
just got with the girl and I really
really like her she's amazing
but she's told me it she's got
borderline and I want to learn about it
you know so there are people out there
that are willing to learn they kind of
want to know I'm not saying it the
relationship will be smooth because you
have told them and they understand
everything be great because it will Tom
summer it will be a bumpy ride ahead but
it will certainly be less bumpy then if
they just don't want to know about it
they don't understand you haven't told
them everything you just behave that way
that don't explain that actually look
this is why I do this
so what subject was I talking about me
baby bride have stole new pond you have
mental illness say yeah I would say be
honest be as honest as you can not all
at once
not the first date and yeah drip feed
drip feed
them little bits of information and
that's it
and good luck to you both right my
lovelies I am going to go and have a
fantastic weekend and I'll be back
Monday bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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