hi my lovelies and I must excuse the
Georgia hair basically this is what
happens when I wash it and I do nothing
else crazy hair right today I'm going to
do a video request um and it was Celia I
see ya
asked me to talk about how to try and
not yell and scream and how to stop when
you were sobbing uncontrollably now I've
been there millions of times where I
have just that crying like I call it
ugly crying cuz I pull a real ugly face
mm-hmm like just the last time I did it
was maybe the week before I gave birth
and I broke into that kind
uncontrollable crying at the school in
front of my little boys teacher and
dribbling snot out my nose it was not
pretty right
so anywho so when you get to this point
where you're screaming like you're
either full of anger you just it's the
emotions basically you have hit crisis
point and you can't control those
emotions and they just all come out I
have in the past literally spent days
crying like not stopping sometimes I
didn't even know why I just cry and cry
is that like I said uncontrollable
crying I could not control it so like I
said if you are at that point you have
hit crisis point and this is where
skills
DBT skills for example will come in
and II now I'm not going to go into all
the individual skills now because I have
done it in more depth under my playlist
the solutions there are DBT videos one
of the sections is distress tolerance
and some of those distress tolerance
would come in so like come in handy when
you're a crisis point because what
distress tolerance is it's basically
teaching you to tolerate the distressing
situation so you learn to tolerate you
learn to control actions around it and
it doesn't just happen I know I always
say this it doesn't happen overnight
it's a process but it really is when I
started doing distressed torrents I
thought some of the things like mmm
that's not going to work that was not
going to work I practiced them anyway
and I practiced them when I wasn't in a
crisis so when I actually didn't need
them and that is the key because
basically when we hit crisis point we do
what comes naturally to us we break down
we scream we shout we cry because we
just don't know what to do often after
the screaming the shouting the crying we
might self-harm we might drink loads
alcohol you might use drugs basically
we're going to act impulsively because
our emotions like and we just do
something
and unfortunately the things we do tend
to be unhelpful
so distress tolerance and DBT is about
teaching you new skills to put in the
place of the old ones so you might still
get to the point of crying
uncontrollably but then you're going to
have other things that you can put in
place to calm you and bring you back
like regulate those emotions
not just it's like we SBP Diaz we're
kind of we haven't we don't mature
emotionally it's like we're still like a
child inside and it's like we teach a
young baby I know this because I'm
trying to do this right now you teach
your baby how to self-soothe and that's
what SBPD is need we need to learn to
self-soothe ourselves in a helpful way
and DBT like I said it teaches us stuff
like that and distress tolerance so like
I said before you might be able to bring
yourself back before you reach that
point of screaming and crying or you
might reach the crime but be able to
bend self-soothe calm yourself before
you do something erratic and unhelpful
and that you will regret the next day
and we'll only make you feel worse and
because it's a holiday limb when you hit
that crisis point because you literally
you just don't know what to do
you're like I just don't know what to do
I just I can't take this I don't want to
be here so it's learning to tolerate
that stress and we can do that believe
it or not we can like I said I did not
think any of the things would work to
start with us yeah yeah that won't work
that won't work that won't work but like
I said again I did it anyway when I
wasn't in a crisis and basically I did
it so much when I wasn't in a crisis
when the time came that I had a crisis I
was going to be more likely to use the
skills that I was learning then go back
to the old unhelpful things that I used
to do it doesn't happen straight away it
doesn't mean the first time you've hit a
crisis
you're not going to drink or you're not
going to self-harm and you're going to
do this but the more you practice these
helpful skills the more likely you're
going to be to use them when you're in a
crisis and is sticking at it and just
persevering and not giving up and even
if you think it might not work
just try it anyway what have we got to
lose you know basically we've not got
much to lose but we've got a lot to gain
so we do need to try this and I'm going
to leave that video there guys but I
hope you are all well and I hope you
have a wonderful weekend