For many of us with BPD, the help just isn’t available, whether that’s due to where we live, finances or waiting lists. Does that mean recovery just isn’t possible? Nooooo! We can still recover and today I discuss this in todays video. I also discuss my new website, bpdtribe.com, which will hopefully be launching in a couple of months max!
hi my lovelies happy Wednesday today I'm doing a video request from Natalie and hi Natalie and she asked me how do you overcome BPD without medication what if you have like no money for medical insurance or treatment what do you do there is good news because although loads of us with BPD or on medication the medication tends to either treat intrusive thoughts or anxiety or depression it's the comorbid disorders it treats it doesn't actually treat the BPD there is no medication currently available that can just get rid of borderline personality disorder if we're gonna get rid of borderline personality disorder we have to learn skills and that is where DBT dialectical behavioral therapy MPT CBT steps and all these other therapies come in they are used to treat borderline personality disorder and the way they do that is they teach us skills but just so you're on a DBT course and you've got a long minutes we can you there for two hours and you do the staff and you go home and you put it down and you forget it and then you go again next week and do the start chances are you're not actually going to see a change because the magic happens not in the group session but when you go home this is what's important we need to practice the skills constantly in order to see them work going along once a week to a therapy session isn't going to fix us now I've talked about the brain before and neural pathways and brain plus plasticity which is huge that basically means our brain is ever-changing who we not don't have to be stuck with this brain which is amazing for us because a lot of us don't like our brain so if for example you feel really really sad and you go and eat some chocolate and it makes you feel a bit better it neural pathway will grow and next time you feel sad you eat a bit of chocolate and that neural pathway gets stronger so the poin eventually it goes into our subconscious now some we feel sad we just pick up chocolate without even thinking about it now I'm saying chocolate but for most of us with BPD it is more likely to be drink or drugs or sex or gambling or shopping but I'm using chocolate for an example so just say we have been to a therapy session and we have a crisis in the week our subconscious just makes us just go we'll pick up chocolate we won't even consider using that new skill and if we do think oh I'll use my skill it will feel really alien to us it won't feel natural and it won't work so how do we make it work and that's where practice comes in not waiting until we're in a crisis to use the skill because like I said it'll feel lately and it won't feel right when for your normal weight work we need to be practicing them daily when things are okay when we actually we might not want to use drugs and not want to drink but we've got to practice the skills because then we grow in your real pathway and eventually when we're in a crisis we will just use one of those skills and they will work for us and that's what we want they want we want them to work for us so obviously if you have no money you might not be able to access therapy I know over here in the UK it's like an 18-month to two-year wait to get on to DBT I've also heard from people like men that say bed then they can't get on it because there are a man which i think is ridiculous because everyone should be entitled it should be the same across the board and now when I hear a lot is they won't put me on DBT because I don't self-harm and this again really bugs me because to get diagnosed with borderline personality disorder you have to have five out of the nine trains not all of us self-harm just like not all of us act impulsively so I don't I don't think it's fair if you have border and you have borderline I don't think well you've got BSL farmers get DBT but hey ho what if you can't access therapy now if you go just on google and you type in DBT skills you will get so much information I believe there's a website called DBT self-help I think but I'm sure there's more out there and you can just look and it will just tell you the skills I think you can print off worksheets and my advice to you would be to read them and practice them at home on your own because like I said it's actually at home where the magic happens not while you're in group therapy now I have some good news as well because I'm really aware there's loads of people out there that can't access the help they need and I discussed with you before like I need to get job basically I have no money I have more money going out than I have coming in times are hard money-wise and so I do need to be working but I want to make this my job because I'm really passionate about this I really believe that anyone can recover from borderline personality disorder if I can do it trust me anyone can do it because I was I sometimes think that you watched my videos and so you kind of like you know me now but I think couldn't if they saw what I was like I I was so different I was just uh every sweat sentence was Effie wanting to fire everyone like really just vile like I can't explain I'm a completely different person and yeah I think if if the old me was sat here doing a video you would think who's that like I'm so different and yes if I can do it any of you can do it so I want to make this my my work basically so why for those of you who don't know I have a book coming out in October I believe it might be pushing towards November but very soon it's written basically it's just with editors now making it look pretty and so it's called the beep book on borderline personality disorder and it is available on Amazon my full name is shereena sh e h RI na my surname rooney or double O and ey and yes so it's available for pre-order now so I have that coming out which is fantastic but if those you don't know actually people that write books don't actually make much money unless you're like JK Rowling with the Harry Potter series most authors really struggle to make any money so I certainly can't think well I've written a book I'm gonna sit on my butt and do nothing now because it's not gonna pay the rent basically it won't pay the bills won't feed the kids so I need to do something else so I have my new website coming out with myself my lovely partner Megan it's called BPD tribe calm it is not launched yet because I'm currently doing content for it now there's lots of different things I think you guys are gonna find so helpful and they are free as well but I'm also going to start doing online courses and I've decided what the way I'm gonna do it going to do a basic level so for example basic mindfulness and there it's gonna be really cheap basically it's not going to cost a lot of money because hey I know what it's like to have no money I know those of us with BPD a lot of time we're not working we don't have money so I'm going to do a wonderful cost basically a basic level and then there will be an advanced level which is a slightly longer course of set videos a bit more homework they'll both have homework but a bit more homework that will cost slightly more but you can always just try out the basic and see how you get on and move if you move up and do the advanced at a later date the good thing is I'm going to do so many different topics so many courses you can really pick and choose to what you need right now so for example some of you might think I really need something to do with my relationships right now so we'll have a course on that whereas others might it might actually be the emotional regulation it might be self-harm it might be getting into spirituality or whatever we're going to have all these courses and you can choose and you will collect certificates on your page every time you complete a course so you can see like basically you know you've achieved something because I think that's huge regarding like the cost as well I was talking to my old therapist and she was saying it's really important that people do put some money for because actually you're far more likely if you just say spend twenty dollars and you do a course you're far more likely to take it really seriously and give it your all because it's come out of your hard earned money then just free courses that you can do and don't do we want I mean BPD is a very serious illness and we need people to take it very seriously we want you to take your recovery seriously so there will be courses we also have courses for family members as well which is huge and they will be done by Megan because this is what she kind of spit Eliza's in different kind of high conflict relationships basically so she will be doing them as well I will let you know when launch day is as soon as I know like I said I'm currently doing so much like trying to get the content done for it and just so you know I will still be doing this YouTube channel this YouTube channel is not going anywhere I'm still here and just like with these videos we're also going to have a library of videos on BPD tribe and they are all free and basically I'm kind of copying my videos I do on here but they're much shorter and to the point so rather than me waffling on about my kids life I will literally stick on topic so most nearly all of the videos like summer to three minutes some five minutes and so you'll be able to access them as well so yeah I've got lots of exciting things I want to tell you everything about the site but at the same time I don't want anyone to pinch my idea it's not that they would buy I'm really excited because this site will be quite interactive where you guys get involved a lot and and you can advise each other as well as it just being me because although some of you may be able to relate to me so I'm like numb but you might be able to relate to someone else and I so I think it's good that we all kind of kind of chip in together and help one another because that's what I want BPD tribe to be about we are a tribe we are a group of people we will stick together we will not judge each other and we will help each other as much as we can because in my recovery I've really found that helping people I do my channel this has helped me immensely I can't tell you how much it's helped me and I think anyone it's like that Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous their 12-step fellowships and the twelfth step is help another addict help another alcoholic and I I really believe in the power of that I believe in the power of one person with borderline helping another person with borderline so right yeah I can't wait I'm hoping within a couple of months it will be life and yeah we can all get on board so yeah so I've got that coming up regarding the courses so for those of you who can't access help and maybe there's just something specific you need maybe you're doing really well in your recovery but there's something that still causing you issues then you can just sign up and do this course and but because you're not the only one that can't access help there's so many people that are unable to get the help they need and they deserve so in the meantime like if you literally have no money I don't say go online start looking up some of the DBT skills getting into spirituality reading self-help books they don't have to be borderline related and try different self-help books because a lot of the time you might find a book and it'd be like wow this book has changed my life talking but I'm currently reading this mind over medicine by dr. Lisa Rankin and it is amazing and it's basically how you can cure yourself of any illness it talks about the placebo which obviously if someone thinks they're gonna get well they get well but there's something called the nocebo whereas someone could be given a plain tablet just water pill water and sugar or something and they were told oh you might suffer a real bad sickness with this and they would start vomiting even though it was just like a sugar pill not just that if they were told you will get headaches the people would get headaches so it's the opposite the placebo robbing getting better they get worse even though it's just it they've been given nothing basically there was someone like they didn't think people with asthma and they were told this might make you ask more worse and sure enough all their asthma got worse and face it all we're gonna give you something to make it better and they gave the same sugar fill and they all got better I mean it's truly amazing the power of the mind and I'm sure I'm gonna go into this in a bit more detail I won't do that today because I'm going on a bit but I really do think like we can we have the power in us to heal ourselves and that's not just physically that's like mental health as well I like I said I believe anyone can get well from borderline personality disorder and you can go on and have the life that you deserve so you can relieve that there as you know I am going away on Friday for a week with the fam lamb so I'm gonna try I might do some videos now actually so my homemade coffin I'm in the same clothes it's because I'm just doing them all now because I do want to still get videos app you get I love you all it
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