hi guys happy Friday I've got to do this
video quite quick because the neighbor
sounds like they're chopping
tree down or something it is so noisy
and so I'm gonna be quick today I am
doing a video request from Nathan I made
them and today we will be discussing
impostor syndrome and before I start I
just want to say as you know it's really
really really really really busy in the
run-up to Christmas I've got like three
Christmas shows to go to three Christmas
fairs to go to
I've got shopping to get presents to buy
and I don't know if you've seen the
video like I did ages God for each of my
children for their first Christmas I do
them a big painting and so the older
three have theirs but Lottie this is her
first Christmas so I only have a
complete to get her a big painting done
and so that's gonna take time so I am
story about I am still going to do
videos but I just can't price what day
they'll be out on they won't probably be
out in Monday and Friday until back into
the new year and we're back into routine
right so I'm gonna speed up cuz I'll
chop treet round there and what is
impostor syndrome makes a lot a lot of
people suffer this at some point in
their lives if you have VPD you're
really really likely to at some point
suffer from impostor syndrome and
basically all it is is we feel like an
impostor we feel like a fraud we don't
feel we have been a true selves so
because we feel like a fraud we then
think we're gonna get power now they're
gonna realize that I didn't have all
these achievements so for example if
you're a high-flying businessman and
you've obviously worked to where you are
but the high fly businessman doesn't see
that they just think it was just luck
I just got by by pure luck and now I'm
here and I don't really know what I'm
doing I'm just getting by
and it doesn't you don't have to be a
high-flying businessman it could be
maybe you like doing pottery or painting
or you know some kind of art and
everyone's like oh my god - art it's
amazing you should try and sell that and
you think I don't even I don't even know
how to do that I'm gonna try and talk I
hope that he turns it off soon maybe
you're someone that's never had to try
very hard never had to work very hard
you just seem to get where you want to
go and so because of that you again
think well it's just luck I don't know
what I'm doing rather than thinking
actually you're just talented you're
intelligent you're talented and you're
there for where you are for a reason
because the thing is impostor syndrome
is partly like this anxiety this fear
I'm like what if we're gonna get found
out and also to do with our self-esteem
it's a low self-esteem doubting
ourselves you can have it as a parent I
know I struggle with this
I have happy healthy children I read to
them every day I try and spend time with
them I'm cleaning the house I'm doing
all this by still down think I'm kind of
fooling the world I'm not this lovely
mum that makes my children happy I'm
just lucky they are just happy and I
don't kind of give myself credit I'm the
same with my videos when I get nice
comments I'm like oh my god they're
gonna find out actually I haven't got a
clue what I'm talking about and it's
very easy for us to doubt ourselves
especially when you have borderline I
know for me like there was a time when I
could have gone out to work but I
instead would apply for university
courses and try and do courses because
I felt well as long as I'm doing that
I'm getting the certificate but it
prevented me from taking that next step
because I I never felt like actually I
know what I'm doing I can get a job I
always doubted myself and by doing the
course it was kind of biding time giving
myself time so I didn't have to take
that chance if you are someone that
usually tends to get through life and
everything is wonderful no no go on
Farah it's gonna ruin my videos don't
let that middle it's come quiet for a
minute so if you've gone through life
and you've never had to do much ask
yourself do you get scared to try new
things because chances are because
everyone thinks oh my god you can do
anything and you're amazing you then
think actually it's just look I've done
this I'm not gonna try anything new
because then everyone will see actually
I don't just do things I'm not gonna so
one thing that we need to do when we're
feeling like this one is like take note
of what it is and say this is imposter
syndrome I feel like I'm a fraud and we
then need to kind of look at the facts
what makes you know posture like if
you're doing well in your job Thomas's
heart is because you're good at your job
look at what other people are telling
you if people say oh my god you are
amazing in wood you know all the
compliments people might give you write
them down and when you're doubting
yourself go back and look at all the
comments that you've written and remind
yourself actually no you're not an
impostor you might be suffering with
impostor syndrome but you were not upon
look you were not an impostor one thing
that I find like I do I set really high
standards for myself and then constantly
trying to achieve them
and I will not ask for help because I
kind of think if I ask for help people
know actually I'm struggling and I'm a
failure and I don't know what I'm doing
and we need to do the opposite one we
need to lower our standards don't know
why do we set ourselves these high
standards why why would we do that
and secondly if you do need help ask for
help if you are doing what you do what
if you do and you fail at something
don't take that as proof that haha yes
I'm an imposter I failed I don't know
what I'm doing
takers I'm human I'm human we make
mistakes this is how we learn this is
how we grow and just don't beat yourself
up over it I'm waiting for me to start
up again and he's not going to
[Music]
I've completely gone blank my partner's
over there playing the Xbox because he's
a teenager you sleep honestly he's not
well in a minute yeah I'm gonna I'm
gonna stop it they're out and really
sorry is short guys but that noise maybe
the Bears really been putting me off and
I have my daughter's Christmas play in
an hour so I'm going to have to leave it
there but just to recap like I said if
you're feeling like a fraud really just
notice it take it for what it is
question yourself a lit will hang on why
am i afford and look at all the things
you have achieved and focus on them and
notice compliments and take note the
compliments and remind yourself of them
when you're having that self-doubt
because I support lines we can really
really struggle with our self-esteem so
it is normal and and also realize that
you're not alone if you're suffering
with this there are apparently Albert
Einstein suffered with this there are so
many people in Hollywood and doing
really well for themselves that suffer
with this so you're not alone and we can
change your thinking we can't our
thinking is something that can be
changed I'm gonna leave it there I feel
like I'm just walking walking on like a
bus by I'm going guys love you
bye