hi my lovelies today I'm back with a
video in the spirituality series before
you click off and think no I'm not into
it this please bear with me because I
think this is something that affects all
of us
now I'm gonna discuss two things today
and the spiritual side of it is
gratitude being thankful for things that
we have in our life the other side where
I want to discuss is impulsivity now for
me they're kind of opposites in the fact
when we're grateful for something when
we're thankful we're kind of keeping
things in the present we are
appreciating something in the now like
in the here and now and we can feel kind
of content impulsivity is kind of the
opposite that we are thinking we've got
to do something because we're not
content and we're projecting into the
future and if we just do this whatever
it is we then think we will be content
but it doesn't actually have to work
like that
now I know in the DSM one of the traits
of BPD is impulsive self-destructive
behaviors and this might include using
drugs sex with strangers gambling
drinking alcohol drink driving just to
name a few things but I'm not going to
tap from those kind of impulsivity so
I've done that before today I'm gonna
talk about the little minor impulsivity
so we have for example do any of you
ever feel like money literally burns a
hole in your pocket as soon as you have
some money you've got to spend it and
you think of something you need and it
might be I need that new pair of shoes
and I have to have them right now it
might be like for me I've done a video
on this before but it was a long time
ago so those of you that are new I used
to be like I need some new stationery
it's really random but I decided I
needed me stationary so I had to go out
to the shop and I found a really nice
beautiful notepad and I would then think
I need the best fill tip so I buy myself
some lovely sharpies and then I think I
need a fountain pen and well if I've got
all this I need a pencil case and I
would just stock up on loads of station
right I actually did this not long ago
and I bought myself a new notepad I
bought at home and it was on the table
and my little boy came who's seven he
say can I have a piece of paper out of a
sauce like no that's mommy's pad no new
new new new new new
that's for my work and he was like okay
that's fine because they've got loads of
paper I'm not being mean they have got
loads of paper my partner had me say
this and he thought I was just being
ridiculous so he came over and when I
wasn't looking he wrote on my new
notepad I'm so cross I was like I feel
like my notepad has been painted I do
not want my notepad anymore you have
ruined it you have tarnished it take it
and go I don't want it and I have not
written in that notepad sales and I
don't wish to either so yeah for me it
was like that sometimes it might be I
need to clean the house I want some new
cleaning products I need a new thing
that makes my carpets I need a new
candle I need a new spray or whatever
and the thing is I can't think oh I'll
get that next time another shop it's
once it comes into my head whatever it
is I decide I need not one I need this I
have to go out and buy it immediately
because if I don't I cannot stop
thinking about it I feel like not
content the complete opposite discontent
and on it until I have got what I need
and so I might getting new cleaning
products I might use them once
stick them in the cupboard of a cupboard
full of cleaning for us and then that's
it and initially doing this might make
me feel okay but it the feeling never
lasts it's until next time and then I
decide I need something else now it's
not always spending money either it
could be all of a sudden I just think I
wake up one day and I think I need to
decorate my front room I have to
decorate my front room I did this
actually well more so about 10 years ago
I just decided I hate the color on my
walls I suppose this was spending money
actually because I walked straight out
over we had like this home decorating
shop over the road walk straight out top
of red paint came back painted a little
bit realized I couldn't paint and then
for now I'm not doing it now don't like
that color either I loved it and we had
to get um painters to come in and
decorate because I'll ruin the walls but
no it doesn't always have to mean money
sometimes I could be like I need just a
complete change around I need to change
everything so I would move my so far
move my table my chairs everything would
get moved around so the whole front room
just looked different and this
impulsivity is light as soon as it hits
like I said I am then not content until
I've done whatever it is I've decided I
need to do and so when it comes to like
moving some of the light furniture
around um or like having a big clear out
and I do that log and I've been back and
I just think I'm just clearing
everything out throwing everything away
dropping out charity show and that's not
necessarily always bad thing because I
think it's actually really good for us
I'm close just to clear out all the old
rubbish because I know for me it can
just build up and up and up and then
that can just really make me feel
rubbish a but but
but a lot of the time whether it costs
money or it doesn't we are kind of doing
it because when we just not content with
something in our life and so we think of
things to that we think will make us
feel better and we don't think it
through like when I've decided I need
new pens
I have never sat down for okay look
let's think this through rationally you
have a drawer full of pens you have no
pad I don't I just literally I have
thought and I want to do it so let me
know in the comments if any of you do
stuff like this I mean it might not be
cleaning products or stationery I'm not
just those things I can be like it with
makeup as well DVDs candles books like
books I decide oh my god I have to have
this book I have to have it I have to
have it I buy I'll put it on my bookcase
I never read it just sits there looking
for my bookcase but yeah so let me know
what your things are and so now we can
move on to gratitude now gratitude has
been around for years and years and
years and years and years and people
practice gratitude there's the same
count your blessings and I think that
came from something like you years from
using news maybe hundreds of years ago
where people would actually count their
blessings they are thankful for and they
had to count up to a hundred or
something so I know it's difficult when
you live up with either an addiction or
mental health condition it's really
really hard to think of anything that we
are grateful for because it just seems
as if everything's going wrong for us
and we can really focus
on the negative I would suggests you now
I've been doing this since I was in
12-step meetings and we would actually
write down what we were grateful for at
the end of each day now the way I used
to do it with friends is we were I would
text I am grateful for this I'm grateful
for that and we would send it as a group
so there was like 15 of us so I might
like send it to them and then I would
get all their gratitude coming through
and that was great the only issue I kind
of found with it eventually was that our
ego can get in the way and if we think
someone is reading our gratitude list we
often stop being so genuine it's not
actually things we are grateful for it's
things we want people to think we are
grateful for so we might try and say
like oh my partner bought me flowers and
dadada and really it's more to do with
us wanting other people to know that we
got bought flowers I said I would always
suggest if you're going to do it write
it down first of all writing has really
like calming effect with therapeutic
start by just writing five things you're
grateful for five different things and
they can be the most random things it
might be someone smiled at me today it
might be and I have my physical health
it might be I had a nice dinner today or
I had a dinner today because there are
people that don't have food it might be
I have a bed to sleep in because again
there are people that don't have beds
and homes to sleep them now it's not so
much focusing on what other people don't
have but just being thankful for the
little things that we do have like
gratitude they it's there was a study
done a while ago I was reading and it
proved that people that
spend 10 to 15 minutes and I writing out
things they're grateful for actually
have a better night's sleep than people
that don't do that
now if writing is not your thing you
don't have to write you can just think
go through in your mind think of the
things you're grateful for when I read
the book by Rhonda Byrne I don't think
that's the secret I think it was the
power which was next one she um talks
about a guy he has gratitude stone that
he would keep in his pocket and just
when it's over whenever his hand went in
his pocket and he touched his stone
you'd think of something to say he was
grateful for so you could do that you
could do drawings of things you're
grateful for you can have like gratitude
box where you just post little notes in
of things you're grateful for and just
see how you get on because there are so
many different like health benefits to
being able to think of things that we
are appreciative of even like now like
I've always said my please and thank
yous and if I'm gonna shop okay thanks
but now like I try it when I say thank
you I really kind of say it from a heart
I thank you like they don't know I'm
saying it from my heart so then they're
just leering thank you which everyone
might say but I really try and feel
grateful like all the little things and
honestly it's made my life so much
happier because I can focus on the
things that I do have in my life and
even for that short moment of time
rather than focusing on everything that
I don't have I can focus on why do you
have and that's the good thing because I
said I used to spend so long discontent
therefore acting impulsively trying to
make myself content when actually I
should just be content with what I've
got at the moment that doesn't mean I
can't have nice things
it's just literally meaning just focus
Oh
hiren now what has been good today in
your life it might be you got a phone
call of someone it might be sun was
shining and it wasn't raining it might
be it was raining and you like rain
maybe when I'm dancing and rain who
knows but that's what I want you to try
and do for the next couple of weeks
before you go to bed just set aside ten
minutes to write down you can start with
five I'd suggest ten ten things you are
grateful for it might be I am grateful
that I am Alive I am grateful that I
have my eyesight I am grateful that I
can hear I have my senses I'm grateful I
can walk I'm grateful I have clothes it
can be absolutely anything but write it
down and then just read over your list
and try and feel grateful because it's
very good to saying I am grateful but
try and feel it like wow I I'm alive and
be grateful for that because like we can
sound thankful I woke up this morning
there were lots of people that didn't
wake up this morning and we can
sometimes just get so wrapped up in our
own little lives and that yeah we forget
we forget to be grateful and it is this
lightest quite spiritual practice and
why why would I say that because it kind
of just bring in the here and now and
not just focusing on material things I
mean some material things like food we
need now wow I've spoken for 15 minutes
so guys I'm gonna leave it there I am
gonna start doing some more live streams
in the run-up to Christmas
I haven't yet got an idea I might sit
put a post out and ask you guys what day
sometimes suit you so I can try and work
something out that way yeah because I
want to do it then run up to keep
Christmas to see how you're getting on
because I know it's a difficult time of
year but at the moment say yeah I'll be
doing that as always I love you or loads
and I really do
and I thank you for subscribing to my
channel and I thank you for watching my
videos and for your lovely comments and
I thank you just for being you