Today I discuss what it is like to be in a relationship with a narcissist.

Transcript:
hi my lovelies so
today i'm going to continue on with the
topic of narcissistic personality
disorder
i know in the last
proper video not the live stream i know
i talked about it then as well but in
the
last video it was discussing those of us
with bpd
how we tend to always get in
relationships with those with mpd
so i'm not repeating that video
but i kind of did
that video i don't know i kind of
explained it in a different way
um today i want to actually discuss like
what it is like being in a relationship
with someone with narcissistic
personality disorder
um now looking back i've dated a few
narcissists
uh those of you that know me personally
uh i'm not going to name anyone
uh you might think you know who it is
but you might be wrong i do not use my
channel
to like completely
slate my exes um
because anything i say about them i'm
sure they've got lots of bad things to
say about me
so i'm not doing that like i said no
names and actually what i
am going to do i'm going to say me and
him
but
i can be talking about three different
relationships but i'm just going to say
him but taking bits from each so no one
knows
exactly who i'm talking about
um so yes
i was in a relationship with the
narcissist
and i'm gonna discuss that today like
what it makes you feel like
uh things they do so
one thing it really just got me down and
i didn't even realize i was down i'm
quite a positive person
slowly slowly i literally had my
self-esteem
chipped away i just
just felt like absolute rubbish really
um and i i didn't see
how because he wasn't
outright like oh my god you're so ugly
you also hit
it wasn't like that it was very subtle
so
showed me a photo of myself
a few years before the day he was
showing me it
i said look at you look at you there
what happened
thanks basically you happened
kids happen i got old i don't know
um so it was very very like it wasn't
outright you look like trash but it was
like
you look really good here what happened
um
grabbing my love handles with my stomach
i'm going oh
look look at you you've got a little fat
there
uh bear in mind this person knows that i
had suffered with bulimia
most of my life uh would you say that to
someone it wasn't it was just a subtle
way again
to put me down if i was doing
kind of well with work or anything
um they'd say god it's really lucky you
are where you are because
like actually how did you get there i
mean you don't really know anything do
you
again chip chip chip chipping away at
that self-esteem
and but it was done really subtly
um
and it gets it will get you down it got
me down it got me really really down and
i didn't even realize
and i didn't even realize that it was my
partner that was the problem
uh other things i noticed
was he didn't like any of my friends uh
always had something bad to say about my
friends
and especially if it was a close friend
they would be even worse and would pick
things out about them whether it was
their job or like oh well they're really
loud and in your face
aren't they uh even though they're not
and they were really loyal and i'm still
friends with these girls thank goodness
uh as much as he didn't want me to be
and i realized now it's because
a narcissist wants your full attention
they want all of you they don't want to
share you
not with anyone so any kind of close
friend
was a threat to them so to me they would
put them down to that to my friend's
face they'd be smiley and happy
and seem really nice but to me
they would like just put little things
in my head about them
and try and really like
try to make me think bad of my friend
but do it in such a way that i didn't
realize
they were doing it i would just think oh
i just think this about my friend
luckily that didn't happen
um but what you'll find as well i think
whether it's friends or family
so again you guys know like i'm really
close with my mom my stepdad
i'm close to all my family um
this does not suit a narcissist he does
not want this
and so i would have comments made like i
just think it's really weird how
close you are actually i've never known
like mums and daughters to be like
get on that well that's really weird
like you talk a lot on the phone that's
odd don't you think that's all no one
else does that your friends don't do
that
do you think like your mum's got some
kind of hold over you
and start putting that in my head that i
think your mum's trying to control you
um but at the same time like if my mum
got me something like i know um
just got me a present
they would he would get really sulky
about that
like well she didn't even get me
anything and then i'd
say to my mum my mum would go and get
him something
like because and it'd just be like oh
like he just felt he was so entitled
um and i can really see
he was trying to cause divides amongst
my friends
family
a narcissist like thinks that up there
they have these grandiose plans and that
was another thing
uh i was forever listening to uh
i'm i'm going to buy the best car
i'm going i'm going to climb mount
everest next year
okay that takes a lot of effort you know
you can't just
climb mount everest yeah i'll do it i'll
do it
um i'm going to join the army next year
really you you don't work out or do
yeah no no i'm getting into it i'm
getting into it
and it was just all this fantasy um
but i didn't dare say you can't do that
because a narcissist actually has a very
fragile ego
and if i said that
he would erupt he'd absolutely erupt
um
narcissists kind of think they can do
what they want
they can treat people how they want
uh they look down on people um
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and the thing is so for when you're
dating a narcissist so you see this
person with people and they aren't the
nicest
person like they're like hey how are you
oh you look amazing
oh good job on this and they're so
lovely and everyone just are drawn to
them
um but when you're with
one and then you're in the comfort of
your own home you
you hear how they talk about other
people
and they look down on
people they work with they look down on
people that are higher up in
than them in their work like what does
she know or what does he know anyway
um they think they're better all the
time they always think
they're up there management and that
down here anyone else is down here
um but the outside world they're really
really nice people and i used to find it
really like
frustrating uh
i i don't so
i'm literally the sort of person that
i think even if it's like the queen
or the prime minister or the president
or someone yes they're hired they have
power they have this
they're just human they're just like us
we're no different
um if i walk down the street and there
was someone
that is homeless with no money
i'm no different to them yeah yes i have
a home i know that
i have a home i've had that like
material things
other than that take away strip away the
material stuff
we are no different why are we different
um so that used to kind of irritate me
uh when someone because it's just so
false to me it's just so false
um guys reminding you again that i'm
talking like
and i'm kind of there's three x's here
and i'm interweaving into one person
uh just so no one knows who it is um
yeah i i don't like that i don't like
that thing we're all we're all human
we're all the same
uh don't look down on someone for any
reason like that don't think you don't
go around thinking you're better than
people
and i used to find it really irritating
like it was great on me that someone
could
um especially this is what got me
especially
as those people would be really nice to
him
and then i thought and you literally you
come away and you talk about them like
that like
i that i just i just felt like it's
wrong it
uh didn't sit well with me
the problem is like i said with the
narcissist they have an ego
uh if i did
say anything and kick off and the thing
is
i would literally be feel like i'm
chipped down i've been cut off from
family i've been cut off from friends i
didn't be on the phone
to my friend my mum because if he came
in and i was on the phone to be like
like you're on the phone again
even though if i wanted to have a
conversation with him
i couldn't because he was
i'm now on the computer doing something
or on the phone himself
looking up new cars because that was a
constant thing looking at new cars or on
the computer
it was fine for him to be on the phone
but i couldn't
so all these little things would build
up build up reeled up and i'd be like
and one day something little like i
might do dinner put on the table
and he might say oh i didn't want this
tonight
and i would completely erupt because all
this stuff had built up built up built
up and there's only so much and then
i'll erupt
and immediately again he was like
treating me like i'm some mental patient
and saying oh do you think you need to
see your doctor
do you think you need your medication
increased
and um the thing is i've got such a
point
i started thinking maybe i do need my
doctor
maybe i do need my meds increased um
because i could not
like step away from the situation and
see it for what it was
when
you decide like
you don't want to be with this person
anymore
because literally you're being worn down
um what i found is they just will not
let you go so easily
they will just turn up and if they want
sex
they can have it and um
who are you
to say no and you get caught in that
trap and then you think
maybe i should be in this relationship
because again
i'm talking about something like so i
borderline i'm talking about someone
with bpd
we've got so low self-esteem we've been
told we're fat
we've been told we're getting old we've
been told all these things
um
and then someone turns up like oh
i want you but they make you feel wanted
because
that's the thing like yes i know those
of us with bpd can manipulate i know we
can do stuff but this is a whole
other thing the way they do it even it
makes
us look rubbish at it and they are so
smooth talking so like that we feel like
ah
and we actually start to think we need
this person
we can't be without this person
um
but once they get what they've got like
whether it's sex or whatever they
want they they get it and then it's just
like
goodbye you're a piece of trash off i go
and um
and i've just for so long like kind of
sat around just thinking god what
stories do people think of me like what
do people think
because my exes god knows what they say
um it's actually none of my business
what they say
and it's none of my business what other
people think uh
but as someone that's kind of insecure
and with low self-esteem it um
it does bother you
how do we get out of the trap how do we
get out that trap
uh
i think for me it's
taking time to myself rebuilding
my self-esteem
um realizing my self-worth and thinking
you don't deserve to go through this
recognizing that all the horrid things
about family or friend that was
false and what i knew in my heart
was right my friends are my friends and
they are good and they've stood by me
and they've been with me
since they do family the same
um but this person kind of like when
you're with a narcissist they completely
kind of take over your whole world
[Music]
and
i kind of run out of things to say i
think
i'm sure i'm gonna cut it off now and
remember loads
but basically guys i'm gonna upload this
video and i'm gonna
live stream tonight so i'm gonna live
stream
straight after this is uploaded it will
probably be in about half an hour
uh so any questions you have
after the video you can ask me
and we can chat and um
tell me your stories
of someone that just thinks they're so
above you
they can do what they want they can see
their friends when they want
they can spend what money they want it's
just like you
you just don't matter and but
i suppose the worst thing is and here's
the thing guys right i've talked about
this and i said
like those of us with bpd when we get
someone we can literally hook onto
someone and be like oh you're gonna be
my life
um and but that's not the reality it's
the same with
a narcissist they but he i i would say
worse again not being judgmental but i
would say
worse um because they
literally like just outright lie to you
from the very
start i think at least those of us with
bpd it's intense and that
but because we like the person it's
intense
with them someone who's a narcissist
it's not about them liking you it's
about
them liking how you make them feel you
make them feel amazing um with
us we get hooked on because that person
makes us feel amazing and i suppose
that's kind of different
um
[Music]
right i'm gonna upload i'll be live
after this video and i'll catch you then
i love you guys
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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