hi guys today I am doing a video on is
borderline personality disorder for life
the reason I'm doing this video is a lot
of messages I get and comments
I'm sensing a real fear that people have
when they've got this diagnosis that
this is it this is how I'm gonna live
for the rest of my life and I completely
understand that because back when I was
first diagnosed I was in a really really
bad place I was self harming all the
time other tempting suicide all the time
my relationships were violent horrible
unstable everything around me was
falling apart and I got this diagnosis
of BPD and I was like great okay at
least now I know what's wrong with me
because before I didn't know I just
thought I was the same as other people
but not if that makes sense why I didn't
understand why I reacted this way and
all of a sudden I had a reason and I
could look into it
and it was great but you then have the
fear oh my god is this it if I've got
this is this how I'm gonna live the rest
of my life or all my relationships gonna
be like this am I gonna be self harming
when I'm in my 70s throwing Paddy's
going mental bike not dealing with my
emotions because they're so intense and
it's really really scary because who
that it's not a life it's there it's not
life if that is life it's not a life and
I have some good news it's not for life
you will not have this for life because
borderline personality disorder is
treatable it is manageable now is it
curable I don't know for example I don't
know if I have borderline personality
disorder that is lying dormant because
I'm using skill so I'm more medication
and I'm managing it or if it's just not
there anymore I don't know but either
way it doesn't matter
whether it's lying doorman or or it's
gone because I lead a fulfilling happy
life today
years ago it was really misunderstood
people didn't know how to treat people
with borderline that's not the case
today they know so much more and now
they are aware that it is something that
is treatable with the right skills the
right treatment now when I say treatment
is kind of a mix you need medication you
might not need medication forever and
ever and ever but when you're writing or
at all medication helps but medication
will not solve it usually cannot just
pop a pill and everything's okay
but it can help also it is trial and
error with medication I was at one point
so suicidal that they put me on
medication to help my suicidal
tendencies and thoughts and it made me
more suicidal and I've been on all kinds
of medication some work some didn't and
it's just trying until you get the right
balance of medication that you think
yeah this suits me there's no point in
me telling you what medications I've
been on what I'm on now body rah because
what works for me might be horrendous
for you because I've talked to friends
and we used to talk about it in group
therapy and some would say they were on
a medication it was the worst less
medication ever and I think oh my god
that worked really well for me so what
works for someone else might not work
for you and it is trial and error but
sticking at it and not just thinking
it's all nothing's gonna work but
like I just said medication alone won't
help you you need a mix of counseling
one-to-one counseling where you can
offload and you can talk with proper
professional therapists group therapy I
found so helpful I did a women's group
which I've talked about before and it
was we all had borderline personality
disorder and would go and do check-in
and it was just nice because we could
identify
to fight with each other it wasn't
embarrassing because we all understood
we'd all been there and we could give
each other advice the advice would give
might we might not necessarily take her
own advice which we possibly should have
but we didn't but we could advise each
other and I built up some really close
friendships um with some girls that I've
really trusted I didn't just do the
women's group when I did
DBT dialectal dialectical behavioral
therapy so some time past that was in
group therapy as well that was mix men
and women again really helpful
so yeah group therapy and learning
skills now learning skills is the
biggest part of your treatment this is
what will help you manage your emotions
and manage this illness DBT I know it's
huge in America and I've thing they're
so so lucky because it's just not as
widespread over here and it's really
hard for people to get on to try and do
DBT in this country which is such a
shame because I was like lucky enough I
did it for two and a half years and it
was literally life-changing it was
amazing I personally think they should
be teaching it in schools
I think if these skills were taught in
schools when kids were young they are
life skills basically and I think would
have a lot less teenagers self harming
and going off the rails if they have
these skills in place from an early age
but hey-ho
that's just my opinion so yeah you have
DBT you we also had I did something
called steps which is ste PPS and it's a
stood stood for systematic training for
emotional predictability and
problem-solving and again that was all
learning watching how our emotions go
like this and when we're gonna reach
boiling point and when we're bubbling
and you know
and how to lower it and calm yourself
and manage your emotions and again that
was amazing I never got to complete that
course because I was drinking and using
a lot and it was decided I would be
better going into rehab so I had to stop
that and I went into rehab for the drug
addiction there are so many different
courses and treatments out there it's
kind of trying and just seeing what's
gonna work for you what skills you can
learn I'm doing videos on DBT in my
solution section I am up to doing the
emotion regulation ones I haven't
completed that section yeah I was hoping
to do it today but it's getting later
and I could've done it this morning but
had a nap um because I'm pregnant looks
I'm lazy so yeah what was I saying I
lose myself what's wrong with me baby
brain they paid me brain so yeah I'm
doing videos on it now I'm not saying
you don't need to do DBT course just
watch my videos because yeah my videos
might help and they might help you
understand it and give you an idea what
it's a vowel but I am not qualified in
it I'm not trained professionally in it
I have just done it basically and I
don't think you can be actually going to
a professional and doing the course
because it's quite long course and doing
it with a group in group therapy and
doing the one-to-one counseling that
comes with it I don't think you can beat
that
but yeah by all means what to my videos
that will give you an idea and there are
some skills that you could possibly
start putting into place today right so
back to my question if borderline
personality disorder full life and I say
no if now bearing in mind of the one
list that written down of the symptoms
of borderline personality disorder so
we've got fear of
unstable relationships unstable
distorted self-image impulsive
self-destructive behaviors self-harm and
suicide attempts extreme mood swings
chronic feelings of emptiness explosive
anger feeling suspicious like intrusive
thoughts and paranoia tast revising now
they say if you have tick at least five
of these boxes you have borderline
personality disorder now when I was
diagnosed I ticks every single one of
those boxes there was not one that I
could think over it was everything
impulsive to self to start to behave
yourself harm mood swings fear
abandonment and say with everything
literally everything I takes every box
but if I went to my doctor's today and I
sat down and I said I think I have order
on personality disorder and he went
through this list with me I wouldn't
take any of them I don't have a fear of
abandonment today my relationships are
stable today they're healthy today don't
get me wrong I can still bicker all have
an argument nothing like it used to be I
would not feel the need to jump on the
person and bite them or just completely
lose myself and go for example my
boyfriend has done something to pee me
off and I've had to think about it today
I'm like irritating me but you know what
he's coming around soon and I will sit
down and say to you know what this is
really peed me off and I will talk about
it whereas before I wouldn't have sat
and talked about it I wouldn't be
phoning go get your ass around to it I'm
going nuts
so yes healthy healthier distorted
unstable self-image no impulsive
self-destructive behaviors no self-harm
suicide attempts no you know whatever my
friends here I'm not going to tell it
because I want him to be on a
you oh never be on any of the videos so
now we'll just catch him in the corner
ha ha like say yeah explosive anger no
BPD um BPD BPD that's right
hi there how are you here say hi to the
camera
yeah it's on I'm dead my boyfriend's
here and he's going to be in a video
right I've just finished enough no not
that you're welcome
right I talked to him in a minute anyway
um so yeah if I went to my doctor I
would not take any of those boxes now so
my doctor would then turn to me and say
oh you don't have borderline personality
disorder so like I said before I don't
know if it's lying dormant and I'm just
managing it or if it's just not there
anymore
the thing is it is treatable it is
manageable you have to learn the skills
not just learn them or know about them
practice them the more you practice them
they will become ingrained it's like
driving a car when I first start
learning to drive a car that's very
aware of everything put my foot on the
pedal what was doing my hand looking in
the murse and it we are so conscious of
every single thing I did now I don't
even know is I just get in and I Drive
and it's the same thing with these
skills in the end I don't I don't on a
day-to-day basis thing I use this skill
I did it I just do it and you can do it
is just learning it and then
to sing it and eventually you don't even
need to practice it because you'll just
do it and on here I've just notice it
says borderline personality disorder
often comes with depression bipolar
substance abuse eating disorders anxiety
disorders what I had the depression I
had the substance abuse I had the eating
disorder having anxiety disorder and
again not none of those are part of my
life today either they've gone as well
so my arms are basically to the video is
yes it is treatable your life won't
always be like this you can go on and
lead a fantastic life and it doesn't
have to take years and years and years
it can happen relatively quickly if you
get the right treatment you start doing
what you've got to do learning your
skills you will have an amazing life and
you won't be leaving in this dark horrid
place forever something you're in there
and thank you again for all your lovely
comments
I even had a troll comment that really
made me laugh this week said he I should
be ground into dog food oh good it
actually made me laugh so much I cried
I'm brilliant plastic and but no thank
you for your comment thank you for your
messages I do try and get back to
everyone obviously I have three kids I
am pregnant I get tired so sometimes I
might not get back as quickly as I like
and it might take a few days but bear
with me and I will get back to you I
will be doing emotion regulation next
week so I'm going away this weekend for
my mum 16th birthday and oh yes so
emotion regulations coming next week
probably set 8 and 9 of the 12 steps and
I had someone asked me to do a
codependency one which I'll definitely
get on do as well and if you have any
ideas for videos let me know thanks guys
take care see you next week bye