I have previously done videos on meds but decided to recap on things as I have been asked a few time to do a ‘medication video’.

hi my lovelies today I'm gonna take
inspiration from you again like I just
did I just did a video before talking
about being a mom I'm taking inspiration
from you because I couldn't think Fenny
to do the other day and I've had a few
people ask me actually to do one on
medication now I have done videos on
medication before but I'm happy to do
them again in case you're new and just
to kind of recap on what I said in the
other videos basically one of the
questions I got asked was about
antipsychotics and do they work and I
don't think the person asking necessary
men if you're psychotic cuz obviously if
you're psychotic and cycle tits will
probably work I think I they mean with
borderline personality disorder I think
and right so as you know I have
borderline personality disorder but I
manage it one of the ways I manage it is
with medication now obviously my
medication has kind of been a bit all
over the place because I was pregnant I
have had the baby I went back on some
medication I am on an antidepressant
which is sertraline 200 milligrams I
think that's the maximum dose of
sertraline and I am on quetiapine which
is an anti-psychotic I am now on 100
milligrams I was on 200 and then I got
pregnant and I came off the quetiapine
stayed on the sertraline now I am NOT
saying to you go and ask your doctor for
some certainly going get some court IP
that's great because all medicines
medications work differently so some
people I know personally have been on
sertraline and thought it was funny I
get on with it other people have been on
type in and it hasn't agreed with them I
get on with it for me having search lien
and quetiapine
that has been the best I have tried so
many different medications over the
years and they have other ones that have
always worked for me
so regarding the antipsychotic
quetiapine is an anti-psychotic and for
me it works and I will tell you how it
it I use the quetiapine when my thoughts
are completely taking over it's not so
much the strong emotions it is the
intrusive thoughts the anxiety getting
scared to go out fit catastrophizing
constantly thinking my partner's
cheating on me or one of my children
gonna die like all those horrid horrid
thoughts that can become so overwhelming
and all-consuming could type in from me
quietens that so sertraline which is the
antidepressant brings my mood up
slightly so I'm not so down the
quetiapine calms me if that makes sense
and so I was actually with my lovely
doctor Shraddha today I got the nicest
doctor ever and I'm really really lucky
he's always got so much time talk
through everything with me and I was
kind of saying what's going on because I
had days and days and days of just
crying where weeks of crying from
morning till night that has stopped but
I'm getting the intrusive thoughts
coming in like your partner's gonna
leave you the thing for me at the moment
actually is getting older it is scaring
the life out of me um I was thinking oh
my god like I'm 35 my face on my face
I think I'm terrified but anyway um yeah
I'm 36 this year
so anyway I'm 14 a few years and then
I'm thinking oh my god my hair's gonna
start going grey I'm gonna start getting
loads and loads of wrinkles
oh my god then I'll be 53 60 my god what
for like just an old lady hobbling
around and it's scared the crap outta me
I started thinking well I actually said
to dr. Shraddha today like because I
feel this way and I'm so scared
is there any chance that I could get
Botox or like on the NHS and they were
like he said no they don't do that but
he did mention a good study they've done
where they've used Botox to make
people's mouths go slightly up
and they found by doing it that the
people were happier and less likely to
get depressed which was interesting so
yeah so that's my big fear and then
thinking like seeing all the young 20
year olds now I'm thinking that was me
that was me I was young once I was 20
once and now I'm golden past there and I
get really depressed and I was thinking
I'm like winning 50 your partner's not
gonna want you any more he's gonna want
a 20 year old
and we knew 20 year olds and completely
freaking out
so I'm laughing about it now but when
those thoughts come I literally like
panic I feel like I can't breathe it is
so scary because obviously aging is
something we can't just stop as much as
I would like to have a pill that would
make me young forever
I can't I've got to accept it and what
I'm kind of trying to do is say well I
know you feel like this but there are
loads of people that feel like this and
even the beautiful young 20 year old now
are eventually going to be 50
and that we loads a new 20 year olds and
then then they will go through the same
thing and so the cycle continues and
sometimes that helps and sometimes it
doesn't but because I'm getting these
thoughts and again fear from a partner
you fearing and all this we have
increased the quetiapine today so
whereas I was on 50 I am now on 100
milligrams before my pregnancy I was on
200 so I was on more but for me it works
a lot of men any men out there a lot can
not want medication and I think for men
there's like a stigma attached like oh
you're on antidepressants you're not a
man like my partner I think he could do
with some antidepressants sometimes I do
but he just won't have it no but I
suppose his medication he does 12-step
meetings because obviously he's in
recovery from addiction so that's how he
tries to treat you but for me it wasn't
enough if you have a headache you take a
pill you take something to make it
better if you're in pain you take a
pebble so you have a physical illness
and we're more than happy to take
medication and then it comes to our
mental health and not so much not so
much like at the end of the day these
medications they're not going to solve
your problems at all but they can take
the edge off if what you're suffering
for is like a real hormonal imbalance if
you can take a pill that can start
balancing it out slightly why would you
not do that
so for borderline for me I take my
medication but that is not enough I
cannot just take my medication I need to
have skills in place
I need to have counseling and talk to my
therapist to my lovely doctor Shraddha
and that's that's what I need to do so
no it won't it won't manage the
borderline it will take the edge off
so you're then capable to engage in
therapy that will help you manage it so
why suffer when you don't have to suffer
basically medication we're so lucky
really because it's amazing it can help
people live the lives they want to live
but they can't because of anxiety or
depression psychosis or ever and there
are medications out there that can help
us with medication it is trial and error
I've said this before I was on what was
it called what was it called
there was a medication alone because I
felt suicidal and I started taking this
medication and I felt more suicidal to
the point I attempted suicide luckily
for me it was an attempt I wasn't
successful but we realize that see the
Medicaid I was at called I know it was
years ago and it was in the newspaper
because I think lots of people had had
the same thing so I came off it changed
my medication and tried something else
there are people that have anxiety might
take sertraline for it and become more
anxious and it doesn't work for them so
it is trying different medications
different combinations and seeing what
works for you because honestly we're all
so different and when I used to be part
of a women's group at the community
mental health team place were odd to go
and we would talk about the medications
and some of them that I had tried that I
was like there
awful some of the people loved and said
yeah they really work for me but for me
they didn't they did the opposite they
made me feel so much worse so if you run
something to see like how much has it
changed has it helped at all if it
haven't helped at all maybe they need to
try increasing it slightly again if it's
making you feel worse
tell your doctor and maybe they can
change it there is trying different
stuff different dosages dosages it's
that word dosages yeah trying different
ones also which I have mentioned before
my lovelies are you drinking and using
drugs while taking your medication
because if you are chances are is not
gonna work
I was on medication and I was using
drugs and drinking like so much and then
wondering why I was suicidal and while I
was still too so depressed and saying
the medication does nothing but not
telling my doctors yeah though I was
really drunk last night not saying that
at all but yeah just and I really
believed I didn't understand why the
medication didn't work hello now I know
and so look at that look at your
lifestyle and see are you doing anything
that could interfere with your
medication because then when I came into
recovery and stopped my drinking and my
using and I tried medication it worked
worked out why this medication before
didn't work now it works is like amazing
so some people are on medication long
term others short term and if you are
worried just tell yourself what do you
know what I'll just give it a trial for
say three months six months don't think
I'm gonna be on this for the rest of my
I certainly don't want to be on this the
rest of my life and I because I came off
the quetiapine and the beginning of my
pregnancy was really good I am now less
fearful of coming off that again
obviously at the moment I'm very home
nor went because I've just had the pee
Leslie oh oh no she's gonna be awake
later and yeah so that's why I'm on that
could happen now but like I said I'm a
lot less fearful of coming off it
because it's very easy to anything Kyle
will get on it and will never come off
and that is not the case because once we
have learned the skills to manage a torn
us then we can use them instead and they
work so I think I'm going to leave that
there today I'm sure there's probably
things I've missed out if I have just
messaged me and I'll do another video no
problem and that I'm gonna be working
through all your comments I know I
haven't had time to reply but I have
been reading them and you've all given
you've given me great ideas and I will
work through them and do those videos
over the next few weeks I'm going to
write them all down and do them um -
yeah thank you have a great week and I
will be back bye guys
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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