Music can depress us… equally it can lift our mood and make us feel happier.

hi my lovelies
today I'm sat outside my house in the
garden it's nice and sunny actually I
was just recording a video to send to
Cory at the borderline life she is doing
well guys I thought I'd let you know
that because I know I get asked quite a
lot how's Cory and she is okay
so yeah I was just 17 a random video
sharing in my garden she's an amazing
gardener actually so yeah that's why I'm
outside today say I got asked on Easter
gram about see when I do that then when
I got inside I get two white lines and
itchy so I got asked by a guy on
Instagram like cuz I did my video she's
a psycho and he's like he always listens
to songs that make him sad and I can
literally like they relate to that
and I've really learned in my recovery
actually the power of music
now growing up I remember me and my
brother used to listen to
Careless Whisper by George Michael and
we would cry whenever it came on because
we remember our dad used to listen to it
when he lived with us and obviously my
mum and dad got divorced and it just
triggered loads of memories whenever we
heard that song especially my brother he
would really really cry I mean we were
young he was about 5 at the time I was
six not seven and we would cry listening
to him and I used to find us I grew up
like if I went to a breakup or I went to
anything difficult I would put on sad
music and I would cry now in some ways
it's good because you're kind of letting
but in other ways it's not so good in
the fact that it can keep you stuck in
it and in fact even worse than that it
can make the emotion more intense than
it possibly would be and that's what I
used to do if I felt sad I'd put on
music that would make me sadder and if I
was angry I would put on music that will
make me angry
and if I was happy
I'd sort of music that would make me
happier and so that's how it kind of
the problem is when we've already got
like if you've got BPD we've got intense
emotions anyway we really don't need to
be made
sadder you definitely don't need to make
made angry but what I've kinda like
realized along my way is actually we can
use music to our advantage so obviously
if you're really my husband if you're
really really sad I've got my babe I bet
not many of you know that I use the
brain I gave up smoking every no that's
a lie I was about to lie to you David
smoking last August I never I used to
tell people that smoke but it was the
one thing I couldn't give up and I was
embarrassed I hated it I hate the habit
and I was yeah like I just didn't tell
but here I am i no longer smoke a duvet
but I was on like the 18 milligrams of
tobacco and then I cut down to the light
I think it's 18 16 or 15 or whatever but
I'm down to five now and once I get down
to zero not like a nicotine
nicotine when I get Nance Theory
nicotine I will stop the vape but yeah
in case you're wondering what it is I'm
holding so I realize like power of how
we can make music actually make us feel
better that's what saying if we're
really really down obviously just put on
a happy song you're not immediately
gonna go from completely down a
miserable - yay I feel fantastic this
song is amazing but it can lift a mood
now in my book I talk about like the
scale of nought to 10 and how often like
emotion-wise said you could use nought
to 10 for sadness you could use naught
to ten fat just angry angry anger but
you could use it just feel mood
basically where are you now the way I
see it
10 is crisis point like absolutely 9 is
crisis 8 is you put you're on the verge
of a crisis now a lot of the time most
of us are actually on maybe a 3 or 4 and
if someone says how you doing we might
say yeah we're okay but we're not but we
don't realize we're not we don't we
kinda you don't realize we're actually
already out of 4 and so it doesn't take
much to push us up to a 5 6 7 once you
get to 7 it's very difficult to bring
yourself back down and that's why with
recovery it's really important that we
learn what number we're at are we 1 2 3
4 we usually know pretty well when we're
at a seven or eight because we're really
reaching a limit by the time you're at a
you're gonna hit crisis I would say it's
almost not completely but almost
impossible to come down but it's not too
but nine and ten is definitely like the
worst stages so blow us or at three or
four and what I found is music can
actually have the power to bring us down
it won't bring us from if I'm a six and
we've put on a good tune we're not gonna
go with zero everything's good we're
nowhere near crisis point but it might
bring us down to a four and then if you
carry on listening you might even get
down to three or two and it can really
really improve your mood I find here
often on a day when I'm not motivated
I'd rather just go and climb into bed or
not do anything and I say like play Dada
whatever so she's a psychic for example
and the song comes on it really picks up
my mood and then rather than going to
bed rather than sitting and doing
nothing I dance around the kitchen and
it just picks me up and then I'm more
likely to do the stuff that I said how
to do when I woke up but I didn't want
to do so I definitely think there's
something here like there's no set song
but anyone we've all got different taste
you might be into opera you might be
into classical you might be into rock
you might be into Country and Western
might be into pop you might be into Drum
& Bass whatever whatever you into like
but you know the songs that make you
feel happy and make you feel good maybe
their songs that remind you of a good
time like for example there's some songs
that I can play and I remember going to
a nightclub when I was 16 with my
friends and it kind of brings me back to
a happy time know I'm no longer 16 and
I'm no longer clubbing with those
friends but it can still have the power
to make me feel happy again if I'm
it makes me that little bit less
I said I'd highly suggest like I like I
said I know we do have a tendency to
listen to sad songs and actually
sometimes that's because we relate to
the word so there might be a song that
we listen to and it kind of really
perfectly explains how we kinda feel
inside I think a lot of them us can
relate to this is me from the greatest
show man I mean that's a lovely lovely
song I love it and it doesn't get me
depressed actually because it's really
like empowering song but lot of us
listen to songs because we can relate we
almost feel as if the singer is us and
saying how we feel and that's really
nice because for a lot of us we feel
really misunderstood and so when we hear
a song playing on the radio and we
listen to the words and this is me this
is me I didn't mean to bump Tim in celle
but like this is how I feel it makes us
want to listen to it more but
unfortunately for those of us with any
kind of mental health issues how we feel
a lot of the time is couldn't be quite
negative and quite down and yes it's
good if we can listen to a song and
relate to it but if we then listen to
instead of like just listening to the
one it's relating and then listen to
happy tune we carry on we like get
completely into it and that's all we
want to listen to it can actually make
it worse for us so whereas if we were on
the scale of watertown at four and we
keep listening to this song about how
sad and broken we are inside we'll go up
to a five and then we'll keep listening
to it and we'll get that bit sadder all
that bit angry and then we go to a six
and then we're getting into kind of
dangerous territory and we really do
need to be bringing ourselves back down
and that's when we need to put on a
happy song and listen to some music that
will not let us go up the scale but
bring us back down to a place where were
one safe to happier yeah they're almost
screaming I'm gonna get those lines man
I'm in my garden have you seen my god
not showing Cory that's my house my
kitchen I'm not taking you in the house
because is absolutely this is my garden
the kids swings you can see there's no
grass under the swings
my dad said my ex-husband actually is
coming down on Sunday and he's going to
take it away because I just feel it
takes up so much space in my garden
there's actually those that I'm gonna be
boring you guys now there's like loads
of space behind there and so then I have
this shed but I need this because it's
got like my lawn mower and gardening
tools in it but again there's space
behind it so I just want this moved that
gun my bamboo which I love but which is
out of control this tree is right in the
middle it's a lot of palm and I love it
but it's writing image of the garden so
I had argent and I hope you all engineer
I don't know when I'll put them planning
to put this on Friday but actually
today's Wednesday I might put this out
today I did in another video but maybe
I'll put that out Friday who knows yeah
enjoy the rest of your week weekend or
whatever it is and I love you overloads
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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