hi guys happy Friday I'm gonna try and
do this video again I've got the kids
home and lot to keep squealing with
delight and coming in but she's
currently playing so today's video is a
continuation from wednesday's where we
talked about our unconscious mind and
how it runs the show 95 percent of brain
activity actually happens at an
unconscious level it's where our fears
our beliefs and our habits they're all
stored at an unconscious level and today
I'm going to talk about how we're gonna
start getting rid of those fears how
we're gonna start changing and
questioning those core beliefs I'm going
to do this video in two parts so the
next part will be out on Monday because
there's quite a lot to it and I'd say
there's kind of two definite bits each
bit has lots of bits but you'll see what
I mean um so basically what's the fear
the fear is an emotional response to a
threat a fear can be instinct in fact if
you go and talk to hot flame it will
burn you get pain fear that's for our
survival it can be talked whereas some
one black parent might say don't go
round and don't go near those four
people they're not very nice to deter
and so you grow up with this fear of
these people even though you've AB not
actually experienced anything negative
and fear can be learnt and when we learn
it it through past experiences it's
through negative association so if
there's a child we're walking down past
river and we fell in and we couldn't
swim and when you drowned we're gonna
have a real negative association with
that river with water so next time I'm
keeping a lot next time we near water
that fear comes to protect us the
problem is a lot of these fears happen
many years ago but we carry them with us
through life unconsciously not even
aware and they prevent us from living
the life that we truly deserve and they
keep us stuck where we are now
fear can range in severity you can have
mild fear and you can have fear that
absolutely paralyzes us core beliefs and
fears are kind of linked and I'll
explain that in a bit as I go on
but basically what is a core belief
first of all it's something that we
believe to be fat we think it is fat
it's a belief this we believe it's so
much it is fat and it's not wrong and we
kind of live our lives by these core
beliefs even though they're an
unconscious level core beliefs determine
how we see ourselves how we see other
people and how we see the world around
us what you'll find with our core
beliefs they're very absolute statements
for example I am worthless I am a
failure
I don't deserve happiness people will
always hurt me people can't be trusted
the world is a bad place money is the
root of all evil body run around they
tend the unhealthy core beliefs that we
have intend to kind of be rounded
rejection inadequacy abandonment and
like I said we believe them to be fact
so it's not I think I'm failure I am a
failure the world is a bad place we
think they are fact again hope leads
develop in childhood thing with like
when we were children and just say we
had a fear as a child we had a parent
who left us and we were left alone and
we were scared because our survival
depended on our pair of being there but
now we're adults and actually we still
have that fear of abandonment even
though it's not necessary field we don't
need to have that fear we are not that
child it does not
it out of our survival does not depend
on this but we feel like it does so
today I'm gonna talk about how what do
we do what what do we do we have these
unhealthy core beliefs we have these
fears and like for those of us that
either suffer with addiction or we have
borderline personality disorder
we are completely consumed with fear and
if we want to be free and have a good
life we have to let go of it so first of
all how do we do that now the first step
can be seem quite scary what I'll ask
you to do let's get a pen and paper
consciously write down all your fears
consciously
any fears that you have now they could
range it could be I am scared of
rejection I fail abandonment
hello Lottie say hi oh yeah
you can't grab the microphone darlin no
you can't so yeah right consciously all
your fears it might be a start
I fear people I fear spiders
I fear institutions I fear fear I fear
recovery
I fear money all right
and I want you to treat this first part
as an investigation hello
key and sorry guys
would you take lottery and play with her
so I can just finish my video my darling
thank you yes you're so loud you're safe
don't eat tears coming for you
he ain't starving for you okay so I want
you to treat it like an investigation I
don't just want you to write I am scared
of God quest of why and then you might
write an arts tap
why why why lots of wise so for example
you might write I fear getting old why
but I fear lose my mobility maybe we
losing my mind being sick why I fear
death and that could be like the main
fear someone else might have the same I
fear getting old why I feel looking old
why I fear my partner leaving me for a
younger model
why because I'm worthless and that might
lead to a core belief because a lot of
our fears stem from these core beliefs
so it's really you've really got to
consciously think of think consciously
think of things were scared of if you go
onto Google this part the 12-step
fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous step
four is an inventory and one of it part
of it is a fear inventory so if you type
in fear inventory 12 steps chances are
you might get a long list or fears and
you can literally just go through and
say what once you're scared of and then
question why why why and do the same
with your core beliefs think okay well
it might be a bit more difficult with
your core beliefs and your fears but do
try and do the same write down hopefully
like from your fears you will work out
what some of your core beliefs are
another way is look at the way you talk
to yourself what is your self-talk like
chances are it's like oh I won't go for
this job why wouldn't you go for the job
because I won't get it why wouldn't you
get it because I'm a failure so there
you have it the core beliefs I'm a
failure and that's preventing you from
doing something
so look at the way you talk to yourself
look at the way you see others like if
it's your not trusting of others it that
might be because you have this core
belief that people cannot be trusted
when you write it down sometimes we can
just see just how ridiculous they are I
can't believe I've got all these fears
now this is stopping me living my life
because here's the thing like I said a
lot of them stem from way back so once
you've got them down have a looker why
where did this come from and chances are
you'll see it came from childhood the
threat isn't there anymore so we should
be able to let it go because that threat
is no longer there and we've got to take
the power out of it now writing it down
helps us to take the power out of it
some of our fears and our core beliefs
are going to be at a deep level that we
can't just pick out our brain and write
down when we're going to sleep at night
or when we first wake up in the morning
our mind shifts into theta there's
basically alpha beta theta Delta Delta
is when we're asleep at the theater
stage where we're drifting we can tap
into our own conscious mind so maybe
when you get into bed and you're
drifting off if you've got that negative
chatter things going on in your head
chances are you're kind of going over
some of your worries
some of you fears they might stem from
your core beliefs so when you do get in
bed just think like oh what's what's
bothering me
because a lot of us that's when you get
in bed and we can't sleep we're tossing
and turning because we just can't sleep
because we have all these worries
brant going round and ahead and often a
stem from a fear another way and it's
like I said our brain is in Delta when
we're asleep and we dream now our dreams
often have a hidden message sometimes
they're quite literal say for example
you might dream that you have debt
collectors come and take your house off
you
and that's quite literal because that's
your actual fear you've got no money
you're scared you're going to lose your
home other times it's harder to work how
what it is you might dream you're
running down the street naked and people
are laughing pointing at you
this could mean different things to
different people but if you have a dream
like this kind of look at your current
situation what's going on how does that
dream fit in with that and chances are
you'll find another fear come up or
another core belief because like I said
is when we were asleep our own conscious
mind is still going it's still at work
and so write it down maybe keep a dream
diary so you can keep it like no and
then if nothing pops up straight away
maybe after a week or so you comparing
dreams that you might find there's a
running theme throughout them and
through that way you can work out what
your fears are what your core beliefs
are now if this takes courage because we
don't want to admit we're scared who
wants to admit we have a fear I'm scared
of something for me I don't want to be
should tell people I admit to myself
even though I fear being alone even
though I did so naughty so chatty today
and yeah I didn't want to admit it it
took it took courage but here's the
thing you are strong enough and you can
do it and all I'm saying is just for now
write them down because once we've got
them down on paper first of all we're
taking the power secondly we're
admitting they're there thirdly we can
see oh my goodness look at this long
list of stuff this is what's going
around in my head no wonder I can't move
forward no wonder I can't get on with my
recovery because I've got all this
negativity going on so write it down ask
loads of questions it's an investigation
get down as much as you can try and see
whether
stems from and I will be back on Monday
and in Monday's video we're going to
talk about actually getting rid of those
fears letting them go and changing those
core beliefs those core beliefs that at
an unconscious level are destroying our
happiness our future and they are
keeping us stuck so I look forward to
being back with you all on Monday I love
you all loads and have a fantastic
weekend na