My whole life I have been an open book and told everyone everything aboutmyself – this has caused me so much hurt in the past. Today I am selective (believe it or not considering I have a TY channel!) with who I share information with and what information I share.
hi guys little lady doesn't want me to do a video today if you can hear jingling its yes you order this now aren't ya today I'm doing a video on oversharing because I know I'm really sorry I haven't been able to reply you to all the message years I think it was my last video what one was about females was it a female great night I don't know but anyway oh recent videos I like said life has been really hectic is a nearly the end of the school year and so I've got open evenings parents evenings sports days I've just had the kids birthday and so everything's really manic but I have been reading through the messages like I always do and I noticed one topic that kept coming up was over sharing and I'm kind of like I'm an oversharer I have always been an oversharer since I was a little girl now I remember now my mom came from a Roman Catholic family and my dad check I'm not covered in sick Roman Catholic family and I was raised Roman Catholic I have mentioned before I don't follow any religion now but that's for another video but I went to a Roman Catholic school and occupy oh my god this okay I went to a Roman Catholic school and we would have mass and my mom went to Mass every Sunday so she knew the priest and at this school once a year we would have the priest come in and we would do confession and I can never forget one time we did confession and I sat down with the priest and I confessed my mum sins because I didn't think I'd done anything wrong and I talked all about the family really like stuff that said between four rules that aren't expected to leave those four months and I told the priest everything and so when my mom collected me I said aw what we did confession she's like oh did you say and when I told her she's just like right because she knew him and it was mortifying but I felt the need to tell everyone everything when I was 11 years old I had started a new school it was a girls school and there was a girl that I've known like for years previously we were in the same class so we were friends and I just come back from six weeks holiday to Ireland to see my dad and I told this girl and a few girls in my class all about my boyfriend I didn't have a boyfriend but I told them about my boyfriend his name was Shane and I remember that because I used to watch Holman away at the time and there was a guy called Shane in it was the answer dito Brahma oh my god I haven't some dates that name for years and then basically I just got to bribe to dieter Brahma and I had all this story about this amazing holiday romance with Shane and how he would write to me and I want to go home and write myself notes from Shane like letters saying how amazing I was and bring them in I've got nothing left from Shane but sometimes I wish repaid like some of my stories and I thought huh I can't get found out I can't get found out so I created a portfolio your folder and on the top page first page Shane I call a hair color personality type star sign and all this page - Shane's brother one name age page three Shane's brother to death I gave Shane 11 good-looking brothers and they all liked me [Music] I'm saying this and I'm realizing I have never told anyone this before but anyway and I wrote different stories our life scenarios that happened and I would memorize them so when I went into school I wouldn't trip up for my life and what got so caught me off yeah a gross and yeah thinking about it maybe I should have put that point energy into my schoolwork but I didn't so I had this folder anyway one day this friend came around my house and I don't know why but I felt I should share with her my portfolio and say Shane's not real look look I showed her everything and then said don't tell anyone elses secret oh and she was like of course I wouldn't tell anyone and the next day at school everyone knew and I was completely stumped like that because I just over shared my information certain things I shouldn't I should have kept to myself and as I got older I'd stop going to the pub now anyone who has a drink tends to talk more about stuff they wouldn't necessarily talk about and I would drink a lot and I would share my life story with any it could be a stranger at the bar I would share my life story not just my life story but my deepest darkest secrets and and I used to always wonder why people were talking about me how people knew stuff when actually I would just offer that information out all the time and I could meet someone once and be like let me tell you all about mental health problems and go into everything and look at how I don't exactly know why I did this but I've been thinking why why why would you do this and I think for me I just wanted to be an open book and I it's wrong because looking back now my mental health was not a dirty dog secret that had to be hidden away but it wasn't something that absolutely anyone was entitled to know but I think I kind of felt like I should tell everyone because otherwise I was hiding it and I wanted people to know everything and then they could choose whether they like me or not and hopefully don't eat my hair hopefully because I've been honest and told them everything they would realize that I am an open book and they should like me and a lot of the time they do people were nice but people also talk and so they might then talk to someone and say oh did you know this about shereena da-da-da-da-da and then someone else might say oh mm-hmm and then that person might go from liking me to actually I don't like her and let's talk about her behind her back and I did I wanted to people please I wanted people to like me and I think maybe maybe that's why I would over share everything absolutely everything about myself now looking back I realized it left me really vulnerable because my mental health really wasn't good and I was giving people this personal information about myself and people can be cruel and it's not like I'd built up any kind of trust with these people half the time I did not know them and I would tell them everything and so there was there was no trust to be built or I hadn't built any trust um but I would end up her feeling that they had broken my trust and really not trusting people until the next time I met someone who just happened to smile or say hi and be nice and then I would again over share don't eat my hair not nice grumpy foot oh you ain't my face what are you doing and but yeah looking right now I was very vulnerable and I do not over share today here I laugh because I'm just sharing all my stuff but the stuff I am sharing is stuff that is in my past for example if myself and my partner have a big round sometimes I feel like I'm gonna to a video and tell everyone what is my age but I stopped myself doing that because chances are we love kissed and made up the next day and I will regret doing it I can share about my mental health and that now because I'm in recovery and I mean I'm a lot stronger than I was but to people that say still really struggling with them and or health I'm not saying don't tell anyone anything because communication is actually really good talking is really good but be selective who you talk to be careful who you decide to trust I said in the other video you build up trust it doesn't happen straight away it certainly does not happen walking into a bar sitting down saying hi to someone and oh I've got their trust I'll tell them everything like I used to do because I got hurt so many times and looking back with hindsight it's my own doing what was I thinking telling everyone everything but I do think it was I just wanted no secrets I want everyone to know everything about me and decide straightaway whether you like me or don't like me but please like me because I just want you to add me needlessly didn't work out like that because some people could act like they did like me and go and talk about me behind my back and I can't even really blame them because some people are just like that and it was me they offered up the information it's not like they stole some secret information I just gave it free I have this information about me do with it as real so nowadays I am more careful I am not such an open book I actually that's a bit of a lie I am quite an open book bar I am in recovery and I am able to handle it when people don't like me nowadays I do I don't just trust everyone with everything and like I said or II don't necessarily share every day-to-day happenings in my life like I said at rouse with the partner my partner by the way this is going completely off subject it's a Capricorn now I say that because in my other video I said I went out with three capricorns never but it didn't say it was one of them's my partner and I don't mean either a rapport or that's big for me crowd laughter and what I mean is I'm a Libra normal cap becomes a horrible it's just because I'm a Libra and compatibility is not great - lot but that is for a whole other video oh I saw a few people put um actually like is this oversharing BPD thing maybe I didn't ever think that before but when I read it I was like oh my god yeah that's me well it must be and maybe it's something to do with our emotions and [Music] she's driving me nuts she's just wiggling a bone she's just wiggling her bra say hi say hi Lottie oh oh I must point out I am gonna finish this video now because she is getting rare to this child goes from laughing to crying to laughing light within seconds like us like me missed it and I've noticed that now I can put love comment ha I can love it and I haven't been doing this and the reason I haven't been doing this is because I felt oh my God if I love this person's comment then all the other comments that I haven't loved they might take personally and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so every time it comes off from like I want to love it but then I've got to make sure I love every single comment because if I don't I risk hurting someone and I don't want to hurt on and I'm just like oh do I let my what do I do do I love it and I so are you laughing so I think well I won't love it but I do love it just because I don't love it love it Oh what are you doing are you long thing are you crying what are you doing yep I do love it I'm gonna start loving the comments and if I don't love it on the computer just know I still love it yeah um also I might have a few extra videos coming out because I'm gonna be doing I'm gonna be doing some you've got hair in your mouth Oh God step videos of the 12 steps and so I appreciate a lot of my viewers watch for the board line side but then I do have my viewers that watch the drug and addiction drug addiction and alcoholism side so rather than doing it like a step 9 video on my Monday Wednesday or Friday I'm just gonna add it in on a Tuesday or a Thursday so some weeks there might be an extra video if it's kind of related to that shall we stop the video now so we stop the video now we've actually got parents evening in 45 minutes for my daughter to see how good she's being we say bye-bye right guys I love you all and I will be back is Wednesday today usually I have videos that I've done previous I can put app I didn't have any cuz I'm literally so this videos going out today and I'm doing it today okay you love tea right I love you bye
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